Wednesday, February 27, 2008

An Open Letter to Bath & Body Works

Dear Bath and Body Works,

PLEASE STOP DISCONTINUING MY SIGNATURE SCENTS!! I mean, you’re defeating the entire purpose of me even HAVING a signature scent…which is that I am known for wearing a particular fragrance all the time. Doing that sort of kind of requires that there be a place to go to replenish said fragrance as needed.

Now, I cut you guys some slack two years ago when you discontinued my previous signature fragrance, Freesia, because, hey, every company makes at least one boneheaded decision on occasion, right? Besides, winter was coming on and I discovered your “Warm Vanilla Sugar” scent to carry me through the colder months. By the time summer rolled around, you had “Gardenia” on the shelves and I found it to be perfect for my warm weather fragrance selection.

But now you’ve gone and discontinued “Gardenia” and I am seriously peeved. PEEVED, I tell you! I do NOT have enough left to get me through Spring, much less Summer. Even the Vanilla is almost gone and it’s too heavy for warm weather anyway. None of your other selections, including the new “Enchanted Orchid” (blech, by the way) will do and I am SOOOO not wasting the pricey Marc Jacobs perfume on daily office wear.

So, I’m afraid I have no choice but to out you here on the blog as the rotten discontinuer-of-signature-fragrances that you most certainly are. Obviously, given the high level of traffic on this site, major economic impact will ensue.

You’ve been warned!



P.S. Do NOT discontinue the “Vanilla” fragrance for next winter or I cannot be responsible for the consequences!

Music: “Independent Women” by Destiny’s Child

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

And the judges say...

Sooooo….Valentine’s Day went well. Really well. I officially award the grade of:

Will this brash newcomer to the game continue his meteoric rise up the shoe chart of dating glory? Will he be the first to achieve the coveted rank of:

“red suede hooker shoes?”

Stay tuned…
Music: "Soldier" by Destiny's Child

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I ran across this site today and thought it was kind of fun for V-Day. The last couple of years have left me kinda down on the whole love and romance thing, but since things are looking up in that department, I thought I'd do something a little mushy for a change.

My personal faves on the list:

Love is at first not anything that means merging, giving over, and uniting with another ... it is a high inducement to the individual to ripen, to become something in himself for another's sake, it is a great exacting claim upon him, something that chooses him out and calls him to vast things.--Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), Austro-German poet and novelist.

Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.--Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887), American clergyman and abolitionist.

A woman in love can't be reasonable -- or she probably wouldn't be in love. --Mae West (1892-1980), American actress and comedian.



Music: "I Feel Love" - Donna Summer

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

You're divorced...

…welcome to the wonderful world of on-line dating.

Y’know, the whole time I was married, I kept hearing single people talk about this new-fangled internet dating thing and thought “gee, that must be really cool – too bad it wasn’t around when *I* was single and could’ve used a great way to meet new people.”

Be careful what you wish for.

Now that I’m single, I’ve had to (over the strenuous objections of my mother who is convinced I will only get matched up with every serial killer in the OC) resort to it. Contrary to mom’s parano…er…concerns, haven’t met a serial killer yet. However, haven’t had as much fun as I thought I would with it. Instead of getting the occasional rejection once every six months, hey, why not PAY to get rejected by 50 guys a DAY?

Turns out that Internet dating? Not quite the key to successful romance I’d hoped it would be.

At least in 2007.

But, 2008 seems to be looking up. Way up, in fact. I’ve met a guy who’s managing to move quite quickly up the ranks on my shoe rating system. I gave him the benefit of the doubt on the first date and awarded him the brown ankle boots – normally this would be quite a coup, but it was really more about the weather that night. Because it was COLD. Still, I felt there was potential and he’s gradually worked his way past the cute flats stage.

It’s too soon to tell if he’ll make it all the way to the ultimate prize:

I mean, I'm not even sure George Clooney is worthy of these babies!

But my new guy has definitely made it to the Calvin Klein black knee-high stiletto boots stage (if my knee ever heals enough to allow me to wear ‘em, that is).

Lucky him ;-)


Music: “Bootylicious” – Destiny’s Child (because, you know, I’m finally gettin’ my mojo back and it feels good!)

Monday, February 11, 2008


(NOTE: This entry was written last week when I felt like death warmed over on toast.)

I have come to the conclusion that, sometimes, life just sucks. I know, I’m not the first to reach this conclusion. I’m not even the millionth-and-first to reach it. But, there are days like today (okay, weeks like this past week) where it becomes such an overwhelming feeling that it SEEMS like I’m the first to reach this conclusion.

Okay, I was going somewhere profound with this train of thought. I just know it. Then I spent the last 5 minutes staring off into space and wondering what the hell I was just talking about. Ahh…the wonders of cold medicine. I learned this week that it’s possible to feel both wired AND sleepy at the same time. I didn’t think that was possible, but apparently, if you find JUST the right mix of cold meds and Diet Coke, you can pull it off.

(Note to self: Finance shoe habit with new street drug cocktail of Zicam Extreme Congestion + Diet Coke)

Yep. That’s right. I’ve been sick with the So Cal Bug of the Year for the past week. This explains the level of suckage of life to which I alluded to way back in the first paragraph.

Before I forgot where I was and what I was doing.

Which leads me back to the whole cold medicine thing. It’s amazing to me that we can put a man on the moon and even swap out people’s organs with replacements, but we can’t conquer the tiny, but oh-so-mighty virus.

We’ve tried. I mean, we’ve really tried. Go to the drug store…there are shelves and shelves and shelves of remedies. None of which, I’ve come to the reluctant conclusion, work worth a damn.

It’s not like a headache where you take a couple of Tylenol at the first signs and in 20 minutes, you’re fine. Once you start feeling that ominous little tickle in the back of your throat, forget it. You are toast. Burned toast, at that.

And yes, I’ve tried the Cold-Eze and the Zicam and all the other things that “supposedly” shorten the duration and lighten the symptoms. The jury is still out on those things as far as I’m concerned. My experience has been that sometimes, the cold does seem to be shorter and lighter. Other times, I get sick as a dog anyway…except that in addition to the lovely regular cold symptoms, I now have an upset stomach, no sense of taste and my tongue is all messed up from cramming all that zinc down during what I like to call the “CrapIcannotbelieveI’mgettingsickbecauseIdon’thavetimetobesickIamnotgetting
sickNotNOTSOOOOcannotaffordtobesick$*#(&!^&!!Iamsick!” phase.

You know, that phase where you have that ridiculously futile conversation inside your head that goes a little something like this:

ME: “Okay, I just swallowed and it hurt a little. What does that mean?”

MY THROAT: “It means you’re getting sick, dumbass.”

ME: “Naaah. I feel totally fine. Look, I’ll swallow again and it’ll be fine.


ME: “Hmmm…it’s still there.”

MY THROAT: “Toldja.”

ME: “I probably just need a drink. My throat’s dry from talking/the weather/allergies/hopeful excuse du jour as to why this is NOT me getting sick.”

Insert large quantities of Diet Coke here.

ME: “Ow. Owowowowow.”

MY THROAT: “Snicker. I told you. You should listen to me.”

ME: “But I can’t be getting sick. I haven’t been around anyone sick lately and anyway, I wash my hands like a maniac and I have too much to do to get sick. I can’t be sick. This is not happening. Lalalalalalalala. If I ignore it, and get a good night’s sleep tonight, it will go away.”

MY THROAT: “Ummm…nope. Not going away. In fact, getting worse.”

ME: “Crap. I cannot get sick right now. I know, it’s allergies. It must be allergies. I’ll pop a Cold-Eze just in case, but it’s probably allergies and I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

MY THROAT: “You are in denial.”

ME: “Denial about what? See, I feel better already. Except…why am I shivering…and sweating. Okay, how can I be shivering and sweating at the same time? A fever? A FEVER? Crap! I am SICK!”

MY WHOLE BODY: “Sucks to be you. Oh, and Stomach says quit taking that zinc stuff or he’s going to throw up.”

At this point, the last word is usually had by my brain whose last coherent thought for the next week is that a double shot of Nyquil and a week of unconsciousness would be a really, REALLY good idea right now.

I suppose the one upside is that I can turn the whole miserable experience into a long and exceedingly whiny blog entry thus fulfilling this year’s “write more blog entries” resolution.


Music: "Pump It" - Black Eyed Peas

2008 Resolutions (finally!)

1. Get back to goal weight.
I’m so ticked off at myself for backsliding in this area, but I’m determined to get back on track with it. I will NEVER go back to the way I was before. Other than Ryan’s safety and well-being, this has got to be the number one priority in my life right now.

2. Keep blog updated on a regular basis and figure out some way to drive readership.
It’s only February and I’m obviously not doing so hot with this one yet. I started this entry the first week of January and am only getting around to finishing it now. Obviously, improvement is needed here, but in my defense, I have been sick, had crazy amounts of work and am still doing about 90% of the parenting. I may also be dipping my toe back in the dating waters ;-)

3. Get back to writing regular book reviews.
I’m still reading, but finding the time to write about it has been tough. I’m going to try to post the year’s first review by this Friday, though.

4. Finish the re-decorating project in my bedroom.
Is it bad that there’s still a strip of painter’s tape on my ceiling from last summer when I painted my “accent wall?” How about the fact that I haven’t re-painted the other three walls to cover up the accidental splotches of “accent” color that got on them because I am NOT a good painter? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I need home decorating help. But it needs to be free!

5. Get new flooring and couches for the downstairs.
Have looked at flooring and couches for months now until I’m sick of the whole thing. Cannot find what I want. The search continues…gag.

6. Cull the book collection until it’s down to a reasonable size.
Got the boxes to do this. Need the time.

7. Ride the bike once a week.
This has been going well with the following exceptions:
-Serious knee injury this weekend (and by serious I mean that my right kneecap is no longer visible due to swelling). Lovely.

8. Take a trip somewhere I’ve never been before.
This one I’ve at least made some progress on. I’m going to Scottsdale, AZ in March. Of course, it’s for business, not pleasure, but at least I get to stay at a really fancy-schmancy resort! AND I will hopefully get at least enough free time for a side trip to Scottsdale Bead Supply. YUMMY! Other ideas are a long weekend in New York complete with a Broadway show and lots of touristy stuff (and shopping of course) or maybe the Tucson Bead Shows in 2009. The latter will require a LOT of saving up between now and then…not sure I’m up to it because there will probably be many, many cute shoes that need buying and 2009 is soooo far away. Of course, I will not get to actually WEAR any of them (see #7 above regarding serious knee injury…and no, Sparkle, knee injury was not CAUSED by cute shoes…just my natural lack of grace).

Cute shoes…always my downfall. In fact, cute shoes are probably the underlying cause for the decline of Western society. I bet there was some early A.D. equivalent of Jimmy Choo right before the collapse of the Roman empire.



Music: "London Bridge" by Fergie