Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Pictures (cont'd)

Ahem. To continue from where I was so rudely interrupted...

The lack of ability to take a decent picture pissed me off so what did I do? Went on a rampage snapping more crappy pictures all over Laguna. I wanted to capture some of the kooky people that hang out down there, but then I was afraid I might freak them out by snapping the pictures so I settled for some beach shots.









Then I time-traveled back to the 60’s.





Believe me when I tell you that Laguna is, um, well, interesting is the best word I can come up with. You can’t beat it for people watching, though.

Last, but never least, some new jewelry pictures.







I’ve been on a bracelet-making crusade for the last couple of weeks. I made several this past weekend since I was essentially bedridden with a rotten cold and needed something to occupy myself while I tried to get better.

And that pretty much brings things up to date.

I know – I’m a party and a half.

KJ

A picture is worth...

...not much when it's a picture taken by me.

So a while ago I decided to take a bunch of pictures in the hopes of spicing up the blog. Not much happening in parrotsville lately – work, eat, sleep, gym, kid stuff, get sick, get well, repeat. Blah.

Then, of course, I did get crazy busy for a while there and couldn’t find a spare minute for the whole download the picture, photoshop it, write cool (ha!) blog entry and upload everything process. So now I have a whole bunch of out-of-date and no longer really relevant pictures.

Which I am going to proceed to use anyway due to the lack of anything else interesting to write about this week (see paragraph one above regarding my monotonous existence). Hey, if you wanted relevance and humor and interest and all that other stuff, you should probably be reading someone else’s blog. Who is not me. Who maybe has a life.

But back to the pictures.

First off, I took this little gem just to PROVE that yes, we did in fact have a couple of weeks of REALLY FREAKIN’ COLD weather here in So Cal. This picture was taken at 7:00 AM after the sun was up so it wasn’t the actual overnight low which I believe did get down to below freezing.



Now, I know to most of you 39 degrees is “break out the shorts and suntan lotion” weather, but here in la-la land, we consider this one of the early signs of the impending apocalypse. I mean it SNOWED in MALIBU for heaven’s sake. That’s just WRONG.

One of the cool things about my job is that my company shuts down early on the Friday afternoons before holiday weekends. I used that “free time” to take a drive down the coast from Newport to Laguna because although it was REALLY FREAKIN’ COLD that day, it was also one of the most gorgeous days we’ve had in a long time. The air was so crystal clear that Catalina Island looked like it was about 10 steps away and even San Clemente Island was actually visible from shore. Of course, my pictures don’t reflect this because I was using my cell phone camera instead of a REAL camera. So, the whole “really clear day with visible islands” effect I was going for is not there. But you can still see Catalina. Sort of. If you squint.



To be continued in the next entry because blogger is stupid about pictures.

KJ

Friday, January 26, 2007

Books, Boys and...Fish?

I'm trying (ahem...I said "trying") to get back to the Friday book reviews. We'll see how it goes. Still not much coming out in the way of good reads, but I took a chance on an anthology of short stories called "Hags, Sirens and other Bad Girls of Fantasy" edited by Denise Little. After being sick off and on (mostly on) for the last couple of weeks, I guess I was in the mood to kick a little ass and take a few names and the title of this book fit right in with that mood. I wish I could say the same for the contents. Mostly composed of tired and not very well written re-treads of Greek myths (with a few other oddments thrown in), these stories were mostly just boring.Also, they mostly had to do with how the "bad girls" come to "bad ends." Somehow, I just don't like to think of that happening. I mean, Hera as a bag lady? Puhleez. I used to really like anthologies - short stories make great bedtime reading because you don't get the "up until 2 AM because I have to finish this novel" syndrome. Haven't read a good one since Marion Zimmer Bradley passed away, though. I miss her "Sword & Sorceress" books and the Darkover anthologies were always well done, too.

From there, I moved on to an established series that's been a pleasure to read with the possible exception of the last installment which wasn't "bad", but it was confusing. Fortunately, S.L. Viehl's latest book, "A Plague of Memory", gets things back on track. Okay, I still think Duncan Reever is a control-freak creep and am not crazy about him as the romantic lead, but Cherijo Grey Veil is a terrific character and there's no lack of action in this book or confusingly twisted plot lines (which was the problem in the last book. If you've been following the series, I definitely recommend this installment.

That's it for the books, folks. I told you pickings were scarce!

On to some pics I've been meaning to post for a while. Over the New Year's weekend, I took the kidlet to ride the train down to San Clemente pier. Although it was winter and a little chilly, the sun was out and it was one of the most gorgeous days I've ever spent at the beach. I took a few shots with my cell phone camera (which explains the crappy quality) to try to capture the scene. Here's the view of the beach as taken from the pier (the tee-tiny dots in the water are surfers):



Then, there was the cute guy on the pier who asked me out. Who knew the SC pier was a great place to meet guys:



Happy weekend, everyone!

KJ

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Musings on "The Dresden Files"

Don’t know if any of you made time to watch the premiere of “The Dresden Files” on the Sci-Fi channel this past Sunday night, but I did and I thought I’d share my impressions.

Anyone who reads this blog regularly (if there are any of you – I could be writing into the void for all I know) enough to come across my book reviews knows that I am a huge fan of Jim Butcher’s “Dresden” series. Seriously, even if you’re not that into fantasy or sci-fi, I would still recommend checking these books out. Just like the “Harry Potter” series, they have an appeal that transcends the genre. They offer mystery, humor, thrilling action, great characters and a good mixture of both light and dark moments.

So, given my love of the books, I viewed the news of an impending TV series with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Would it be fabulous? Would it be a terrible clunker? Or would it be something a la what Skiffy (aka the Sci-Fi channel) has done to “Battlestar Galactica” (i.e. loved by the critics, but loathed by me)?

Sunday night’s episode proved to be somewhere sort of in the middle. Neither as fantastic as I’d hoped nor as awful as I’d feared. After some lurky-loo research on the Jim Butcher website , I have a better idea as to why some of the changes from the books were made and why I had the so-so reaction to the first episode that I did. However, the research also leads me to hope that future episodes will improve

Here’s my boiled-down version as to “what’s up with this show”:

So, first up - the cosmetic changes. Yes, the staff is now a hockey stick. The pentacle amulet is a triangle. The Beetle is a Jeep. Murphy and Susan have switched physical characteristics. The black duster coat is now a jacket. Some of the characters’ names have changed - Karen Murphy is now Connie Murphy, etc.

Y’know what? Don’t really care. Despite the tomes of arguments (pro and con) that have been written on the internet by fans of the series on all this stuff, when it comes right down to it, none of these things are going to make or break the show. Therefore, don’t care. Yeah, I had a pang or two about the Beetle because it works so well in the book, but I can fully accept that it was changed due to certain technical requirements of shooting a TV show (not to mention that the tall actor playing Dresden would’ve looked ridiculous in a VW Bug).

The major character changes are where I have more of an issue. So, okay, apparently there’s some “rule” in Hollywood that “thou shalt not have talking skulls on shelves” and I can accept that they gave Bob an actual body. It probably works better for TV to have more of a visual (and they can spend the tech dollars on other CGI stuff for the show).

HOWEVER, it’s the change in Bob’s CHARACTER that I think is going to be a major make-or-break point. Bob’s a major part of the comic relief in the books – an element that last Sunday’s show was sorely lacking in. Yet, despite his sort of drunken-perverted-frat-boy-exterior-hiding-murky-bad-juju-past he’s very likeable and the exchanges between Bob and Dresden are some of the most enjoyable dialogue in the books. By turning him into the ghost of an old wizard in the show, I feel like the audience is being given a big ol’ cliché. A cliché that, if this first episode was any indication, is whiny and pathetic. I don’t need more whiny and pathetic in my life – I have real people who provide me a full dose of that, thanks so much. Sarcastic, snarky Bob from the books is so much more interesting.

Then, there’s what they’ve done to Harry himself. I can accept that (as per the executive producer’s posts on the website) he’s been written to be a little more grounded in reality than in the books, but so far, they seem to have lost the dichotomies and internal conflicts that make Harry so interesting. Here’s this incredibly powerful wizard who’s always in trouble, barely lives above the poverty level, can’t interact with most modern technology, has wounds from a rough childhood, and is pretty inept with women and other personal relationships.

I found it incredibly jarring that the opening scene of the show was Harry waking up in bed with some random waitress from the local diner. Hello? Harry is not a one-night-stand kind of guy. His old-fashioned “knightly” views are a MAJOR component of who he is. In my opinion, that’s also one of his more likeable characteristics. It often leads to him getting into interesting dilemmas when it clashes with say, his personal safety (i.e. save the damsel but possibly get eaten by the big nasty who’s threatening her or do the smart thing and bail).

Now, the abruptness of this “relationship” could possibly be explained by the fact that it turns out this episode was NOT the pilot. Skiffy, in its infinite un-wisdom, decided to run the episodes out of order. This probably is the reason for my major gripe about the whole show which was that it felt like I was just dropped into the middle of something that made no sense. And, if I felt that way (and I’ve read the books), I can only imagine how someone coming upon the series for the first time would feel.

So, all in all, I can accept the majority of what has been changed. I think it remains to be seen whether the writers can come up with enjoyable, interesting replacements for the personality changes they’ve made in the characters because that is what will ultimately determine whether people get hooked on the show or not.

We’re not going to get the Harry, Bob, etc. of the books. That could be okay if what we get instead proves to be as compelling as the original. It will certainly be something that can only be determined after viewing more than one episode. I just hope Skiffy allows the show that time before making any “plug-pulling” decisions.

While I was underwhelmed by the first episode, I will be tuning in a few more times to see if the writers can convince me to stick around. They’ll certainly have to do better than Sunday’s episode, though.

And now for something completely different.

Jewelry pictures:



I call this one "Fern Grotto" on account of all the green and stuff. I'm on a serious roll with these bracelets. Never let it be said that I exercise moderation when excess is possible.



The colors in this one reminded me of a frosty, starlit sky in winter. Probably all the cold weather we've had lately.

Ta!

KJ

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A busy bee...

...gathers no moss. Or maybe it's a rolling stone smashes bees out of its way? Whatever.

Insert all the usual excuses for me being a busy, busy, busy girl (apologies to those who thought I was a bee. I'm not).

I did manage to get some beading done over the three day weekend (chores? what chores?) so here are some pics:



This is another of Jeff Welsh's fabulous boro glass pendants. I never thought I'd be designing necklaces around a shark motif, but he just does such a great job with the shapes - so lifelike - that I couldn't resist. I put together a bunch of strands of seed beads, crystals and pearls to pick up the colors in the pendant and then added Bali silver cones and an "S" clasp. I call this piece "Brenneke Beach" after my most memorable encounter with a shark. It involved an 18' tiger shark who, after perusing the "surfer appetizer" menu at Brenneke Beach on Kauai, decided he'd rather have sea turtle. This turned out to be fortunate for me and the rest of the surfers in the water at the time considering that all of us were blissfully unaware of our uninvited guest until one of the island tour helicopters that was flying overhead spotted the shark swimming around our ankles and dipped down to try to warn us of the potential of impending, toothy doom. Sadly, we thought they were just being friendly and giving the tourists aboard a chance to wave to the surfers. So, all we did was politely wave back. Then the lifeguards hopped on their jetskis and came out to tell us what was really going on. I have no memory of how I actually made it to shore - only that it took me about a nanosecond to get there. Then, we all went up on the cliff overlooking the beach to take a look at the shark, which was still circling in the water. A HUGE, impressive site. 18' is only an estimate from one of the locals - it's quite possible the shark was larger than that.

And yes, tiger sharks are one of the species known to eat people. When there aren't any handy sea turtles...

One of my "chores" for the weekend (I say "chores" in quotes because it's actually fun which is sort of the opposite of a chore) was to cull through my beading magazines and get rid of the backlog. I do this by tearing out any projects I think look interesting and putting them into 3-ring binders for later use. Then, I toss what's left of the magazine. That keeps all my potential projects organized (no wasting time flipping through a zillion magazines saying "I know that project was in that issue with that thing on the front sometime in 2006") plus it cuts down significantly on the storage space requirements.

I got all fired up with great ideas while I was doing this and picked one project to start. Unfortunately, it required 24 6mm crystal bicones in one color to complete it. Now, with a bead stash the size of mine, you'd think that I have EVERY FREAKIN' POSSIBLE BEAD under the sun. You'd especially think I have a large amount of something so basic as a 6mm bicone crystal.

You'd be wrong.

Oh, I have crystals galore. I have 6mm crystals. I even have 6mm bicone crystals.

But do I have 24 6mm bicone crystals in the same color?

No.

Do I have 12 each 6mm crystals in two colors that could even remotely coordinate with each other?

No.

CRAP!

So, now I'm faced with a dilemma. Break my less than 1 month old resolution to limit my beading purchases to only replacement of standard supplies (i.e. thread, jump rings, head pins, etc.) OR give up on this project.

Guess which option I chose?

HAH!

Wrong!

It was a trick question.

I did both.

Turns out my favorite crystal supplier was having a terrific sale so I stocked up on 6mm bicone crystals at quite a discount. Hey, they're basics so I didn't TOTALLY break my resolution.

While waiting for them to arrive in the mail, I moved on to a different project which, miracle of miracles, I turned out to have all the right materials for. Okay, okay so I substituted 8 lb. test Power Pro for the 6 lb. test Fireline, but that's not something that will make a difference. Here are the results:



These turned out to be so easy and so much fun that I've now churned out a bunch of them. I'll be posting more pics later in the week, but here's the second one I did:



I spent the rest of the weekend and most of last week working on a major project at work and preparing to pull off the 4-year-old birthday party of the century (pizza, a Spiderman bouncy house and chocolate cake with chocolate filling) where a good time was had by all and Ryan and I spent an hour and a half jumping in the house by ourselves after the party was over. My neighbors have now had visual proof that I am crazy. I think some of them may have even acquired videotaped evidence of it. It will probably show up on YouTube soon.

Ryan's favorite gift? So far it's the "Bug Vacuum." For those who want to know, it does exactly what the name implies. It has 3 speeds of "suckage" (for small, medium and large bugs I suppose). You place the nozzle over the desired bug and squeeze the trigger and the hapless little fellow is immediately sucked into a canister. You then flip a lever to seal off the canister and remove it from the vacuum. The top of the canister is a magnifying glass so you can now view your sucked bug at SUPER EXTREME CLOSE-UP RANGE. We haven't tried it with a real bug yet, but the vacuum comes with a fake "practice bug" and Ryan has now spent hours vacuuming that thing up all over the house. Now if I could only get him to use the real vacuum on the carpets, it would be great.

By the way, despite the toy's claim that this process will not be harmful to any actual, living bugs, I have my doubts. The fake bug is already looking a little the worse for wear...

Anyway, after all that, I woke up Sunday morning to find that I am coming down with yet another cold. Everyone in my family has been bouncing some virus or other around between us since New Year's. We are like some giant viral pinball machine.

This past Sunday night was the long-awaited premiere of "The Dresden Files" on the Sci-Fi channel. I was so looking forward to this, but have to say that the initial episode was a bit disappointing. I will give it a few more chances in the hopes that it improves. I'm such a fan of the books that I have to wonder if that has colored my judgment of the show. I wonder if someone not acquainted with the novels would have a different take on the TV version...

I can at least say that it is not as bad as what they did to "Battlestar Galactica".

That's it for now. I'll try to post more bracelet pictures later in the week.

KJ

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Disappointment Reigns Supreme

Welcome to 2007 in which drastic household budget cuts have forced me to give up my dream of becoming the Shoe Queen of the World. Since I can still (for the time being) afford books, here’s a review of my most recent reading material. Don’t get too excited – good stuff has been notoriously hard to find lately. I find that odd as usually December is a good time for books. Publishers plan all those hot, new releases to coincide with the Christmas gift-buying season. Sadly, that was not the case so I’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel and even (gasp!) been perusing some “new” authors. That’s always a risk which too often leads to disappointment and the occasional hurling of a piece-of-crap book across the room.

Fortunately, Simon R. Green managed to drop a new “Nightside” novel in early January which provided a lone bright spot.
“Hell to Pay”
chronicles the continuing adventures of John Taylor in the Nightside – that seedy underbelly of London that’s not quite of this world. It’s a relief to know that there will be more Nightside books in the wake of the “Lilith War” which all but destroyed that world in the previous book and led to rampant speculation that Green was done with this series.

Still, I was left with mixed feelings about this particular installment. While it was nice to take a break from the relentless action and rather-more-than-necessary violence of the last few books and see Taylor get back to being a detective, I found it a little “obvious” that his gift gets shut down thus forcing him to “detect” via the old-fashioned question-and-answer method. That is not Taylor’s forte – as is proved when he meanders around having conversations with all the “likely suspects” which end up leading him exactly nowhere. I found the identity of the kidnapper to be patently obvious from early on and yet Taylor never actually solves the mystery. The guilty party identifies himself/herself (which has to be one of my biggest pet peeves EVER – why do authors do this? Sheer laziness?) in the threadbare “ha ha I’m so brilliant and evil and you’ll never stop my nefarious plot BWAHAHAHA” speech given by every villain of all time and used by authors to allow the hero of the story the time to thwart said villain’s brilliant plan.

As always, the strength of these books is the endless imagination of Green when it comes to creating unusual characters, powers and situations. However, other than brief appearances by Dead Boy and Larry Oblivion, and a few brushes with minor new characters, this strength is not used to its best effect. Suzie Shooter doesn’t even appear – perhaps Green is saving a furthering of her relationship with Taylor for another book? Dead Boy’s “car” gets more stage time than just about anyone else.

I would probably give this book a more negative review if I hadn’t been so starved for anything even remotely decent to read. I hope future installments take the series back to its better self.


Sadly, the lack of good reading material caused me to fall even further off the path of good taste when, after reading reviews that hinted that this might not be as bad in the sex department as previous books had been, I broke a long-held resolution and picked up "Stroke of Midnight" , Laurell. K. Hamilton’s latest “Meredith Gentry” novel.

I do agree with the reviews – there is SLIGHTLY less obnoxious and graphic sex in this book. There is even an attempt at a plot (solving two mysterious murders). So, overall, this book represents a SLIGHT improvement, BUT, my fundamental issues with the series remain firmly in place. It is so incredibly frustrating to me that Hamilton has created this fantastic world and peopled it with such potentially interesting characters and yet she makes no use out of them. We get these tantalizing hints of their pasts and previous powers, but those never lead anywhere because oops! time for another gratuitous sex scene. And while the sex scenes are overly graphic and “porno” for my personal tastes, it’s not the sex that bothers me so much. It’s the constant interruption of the action and plot line that occurs because these characters can’t take three damn steps down a hallway without having to stop and boink each other. Once again, the guilty party “confesses” (helped out by some extreme torture courtesy of the Queen of Air and Darkness...which leads one to wonder whether the “confession” is worth the blood...er...paper it’s printed on) so what little detective work Meredith manages to fit in between orgasms is pointless.

Then, the book ends so suddenly that I was left wondering “wha’ happen?” After reading the on-line reviews of the next installment in the series, “Mistral’s Kiss”, (now out in hardback), it becomes patently obvious that it was meant to be the last few chapters of “Stroke of Midnight” but either greediness (on the part of the editor/publisher) or laziness (on Hamilton’s part) caused the hatchet job which split this book into two pieces – neither of which can really stand on their own. Urggh. Well, it’s my own fault for breaking my resolution not to buy any more of her crap, but hey, it was out in paperback and I was trying to be fair and hope that she’d learned a little something and made some improvements. I really need to stop giving in to my nobler impulses.


Hmmm...this review is turning into something of a downer. Maybe it’s just me because I ran into another disappointment...this time from one of my very favorite authors, Katherine Kurtz. For those of you not familiar with her, run, don’t walk, and pick up her “Deryni” or “Adept” books. Both are some of my top reads of all time. Plus, the woman lives in and is personally renovating a castle in Ireland. It even comes complete with its own ghosts (according to her http://www.deryni.net website, anyway). How cool is that?

Sadly, she writes with glacial slowness so a new offering from her is a rarity. I was quite thrilled to find out that her latest book came out during this “dead” period when there’s not much else available.
“Childe Morgan”
is the sequel to “In the King’s Service” and is a part of the Deryni series. Unfortunately, it’s just not very good. Despite the title of the book, the plot (such as it is) focuses more on Alaric Morgan’s mother, the Lady Alyce de Corwyn Morgan, than on Alaric himself (being that he is only 3 years old). And, there really isn’t much plot to speak of, after all. There’s a lot of knightings and meandering back and forth between various castles. The Camberian Council makes a couple of brief appearances and some major characters make their exits, but all in all, the book reads more like “background” to the Deryni series rather than something that can stand by itself in a novel. Plus, it was awfully short to justify it coming out in hardback. I understand there’s a third installment in this part of the series that is planned for the future and I can only hope that it focuses on Alaric coming of age and the challenges he faces supporting King Brion in the early part of his reign. On the plus side, Kurtz’s knowledge and use of medieval history, heraldry, and religion is spot-on as always and makes the world of Gwynedd come alive. Her magical rituals are also particularly well thought out and well written although they don’t play a major part in this particular book.

Next, I picked up the latest offering from Mary Janice Davidson (author of the Betsy Taylor “Undead” series). And, in a continuing theme,
“Sleeping With The Fishes”
was another disappointment from an author whose work I usually enjoy. Fredrika Bimm is just a watered-down version of Betsy Taylor...with fins instead of fangs The male leads (whose names I can’t even remember now...which should tell you something) are silly and one-dimensional. There was less than zero chemistry between either of them and Fredrika so that makes another area in which this book can’t hold a candle to the “Undead” series. The humorous banter and strong friendships that make that series come alive are totally lacking in “Fishes.” I did like the cover art, though (she says in a lame attempt to come up with something positive to say).

Lastly, I have a gripe. Because of the dearth of good reading material right now, I practically mowed down a whole bunch of people to race to the bookstore when I saw that Tanya Huff had come out with another installment to her “Valor” series. Imagine my disgust when I actually picked up the book in the store and realized that it was nothing but a re-issue of the two previous books bound together under one cover. Now, don’t get me wrong, both books are excellent and if you don’t already have them, then I highly recommend adding “Confederation of Valor” to your collection. I just thought there ought to be a “buyer beware” notice somewhere to alert those of us who already have the earlier editions that buying this one would be redundant. At least I realized the problem before I actually paid for it and brought it home.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’m getting over a cold, but am looking forward to a nice, relaxing, three-day weekend. I’d like to hope that I could get some jewelry made and watch some football, but given the amount of chores around the house that need to be done, that’s looking rather doubtful. I also have to do all the preparation for the kidlet’s 4th birthday party next weekend. My baby is turning 4! Happy Birthday, Ry Ry!

Take care, everyone, and if I don’t get to post again, have a good weekend!

KJ

Thursday, January 04, 2007

KJ's Corollary

Reading some of the comments on the blog (thanks, Jenie) reminded me that I had this whole entry about shoes written that I never posted. It has nothing to do with anything, but really, can one ever spend too much time shoe shopping?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

So, way back when I began this whole diet odyssey, I thought about setting rewards up for myself along the way. Every 10 lbs. earned me new make-up or a new item of clothing. At the halfway point, I treated myself to these fabulous Guess satin wedges

As a “final reward” if I actually made it to my initial goal weight, I planned to really splurge on something truly outstanding. Since Manolo Blahnik’s and Christian Louboutin’s are outside my price range, I made trip to Zappos.com where I found these to-die-for Vince Camuto spectator platform pumps (of which there would be a picture here except Blogger is being STUPID). I’ll have to add the pic in later.

The only problem with that plan was that by the time I finally hit my goal weight this past weekend, these babies were no longer available. Ahhh…the crushing disappointment.

However, a good sorority girl driven by major shoe lust cannot be kept down for long. An afternoon trip to the Macy’s at Fashion Island in Newport Beach brought new and lust-worthy opportunities to my attention.

First, I picked up this updated version of the classic peep-toe pump.

These shoes have quite a platform, 3.5” heels and are midnight blue suede, but when paired with my classic gray tweed cuffed trousers, they are still appropriate for work. The best part is that the platform makes these shoes surprisingly stable and therefore, they are actually comfortable. I mean, I wouldn’t want to run a marathon in them or anything, but I’ve worn them for an eight-hour work day and they were fine.

Then, because a girl can never have too many frivolous, but hot, shoes, I also picked up this pair of red satin polka-dot sandals.

They’ll look amazing peeping out from under jeans on a date or spicing up my very prim and proper cream tulip skirt. And if I pair them with my so-sexy LBD, well, stand back is all I can say.

That takes care of the weight loss rewards for now although I’ve decided to lose another 20 lbs. – the first two of which are already gone! I’ll need a reward if I reach that goal and I’m thinking these green and gold animal print pumps by Carlos Santana will be the perfect answer.

And yeah, I know, it’ll be hard to come up with something that they match with, but who cares? These shoes are H-O-T. Who knew a guitar player could design such amazing shoes?

Plus, I figure I deserve a li’l something for signing the final divorce paperwork and who better to turn to for the solution that JLo herself. After all, the woman knows a thing or two about ending relationships!

Yes, I think purple suede with an ankle strap and bow pretty much sends the desired message that anyone who would voluntarily give up a woman who wears these shoes and looks this good in them is an effing moron.

Y’know, when I was little, my mother used to always remind me of Thumper’s Rule: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” But I prefer KJ’s corollary: “shut up and let your shoes do the talking.”

And you thought the title of this post didn't make any sense. Ha!

KJ