So, yesterday I'm shopping at the local moneyhole (aka the mall) when I had the following two experiences.
1. Conversation between two teenagers (maybe 16-17 years old) viewing the Armani store windows:
T1: "Like, that dress is so totally cute."
T2: "Totally."
Pause.
T1: "Like, do you think that store is, like, expensive or something?"
2. I was wandering the makeup counters at Macy's while the store music system was playing a song by The Pussycat Dolls (and btw...when did PCD songs become appropriate mall music?) when I hear someone singing along to the words loudly and with abandon. I turn around to see a rather pudgy, 50+ woman in stretch pants and gold flats rocking out and singing at the top of her lungs "Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don'tcha, baby? Don'tcha?"
I have no comment to make (except maybe "like, when did the word "like" become, like, the only word in like the whole English language because, like, I totally thought the only word left was like, "dude." like, ya know?) I just report 'em as they happen and I'll leave the comments to you, my audience (and apologies for the long time, no write and all that).
***warning*** - the following paragraph contains some "R" rated language!
In dating news - coffee guy seems to have fallen off the planet after a trip to San Francisco although we did have a pretty lively e-mail discussion going for a while there. It could be because he wanted to shift our first ever meet from coffee to boogie boarding and I pushed back for coffee because, even with all the weight loss (50 lbs. gone and I bought a size 12 dress yesterday! That's right, people! I just wasn't prepared to handle first date stress AND bathing suit stress simultaneously. However, in the meantime, I've struck up a nice conversation with someone I'll call Literate Guy (as in his e-mails are actually funny and literate as opposed to the one sentence "Me man. You woman. We go cave now. Ugh." e-mails that have been showing up). Now, I know that guys are not all that big into communicating, but geez! Some of these things are so unintelligible that I can't tell if they guy is saying "you're a hot piece of ass" or "I'm eating a pizza so I'll pass." Whatever...
And now, on to the books.
I'm still strolling my way through the Amber Chronicles re-read and have slipped in a couple of dating and romance advice books, but those are no fun to review so I'll just stick to the fiction as usual.
"The King's Own" by Lorna Freeman is the sequel to "Covenants" that I reviewed a little while ago. The author picks up the story of Rabbit and his developing magical abilities as he returns to the garrison town of Freston in Iversterre at the king's command. King Jusson has take up residence in the town and his presence along with Rabbit's starts bringing the age-old conflict between "humans" and "magicals" to a head once more. Through in a murder, a hidden necromancer, and Rabbit's conflicting bindings to his elven relatives and the Faena Laurel and "The King's Own" is another page-turning, wild ride that keeps the reader's attention to the very end. Freeman really knows how to keep the action and suspense going so that you arrive at the conclusion of the novel almost as hungry and exhausted as the protagonist is. She's one of the few authors I've ever read to whom I can honestly say "a little break in the action now and then to catch my breath could be a good thing." I'm so pleased to have discovered this author and can't wait for the next installment in this series.
And, just because I have to be fashionable and trendy, I stretched outside my normal sci-fi and fantasy bounds to read "The Devil Wears Prada" by Lauren Weisberger. Although I found the constant dropping of brand names to be a little wearing, the book is quite funny and the main character is as likeable as her boss is hateable. It's definitely a must-read for anyone who's ever had a "boss from hell" and has had the daily debate with themselves about whether to keep slogging away for certain professional and career goal reasons (and maybe salary, too) or tell the asshole where they can stick it and walk out. I still remember my first boss from hell - her name was Hilary and she was the manager of a clothing store that I worked at in Newport Beach. It was my first job out of college. I was the assistant manager and was determined to work my way up in the company to eventually being a buyer and having a fabulous career in fashion. Then Hilary came along. On my first day, I was reprimanded because I failed to re-fill the staples in the stapler while I was at the cash register alone and had a line of about 15 people (some with returns to do) and I chose to take care of them and wait to deal with the stapler until after the rush had cleared up. The reprimand was given in front of customers and when I turned to immediately go take care of the stapler issue, I was reprimanded for worrying about silly details such as staplers when there were customers waiting. On my second day, I was reprimanded because I had not said "good night" to Hilary the evening before when my shift was over. To put this in perspective, two days before I started the job, I had broken the little toe on my right foot. Then I worked an entire shift standing in a retail store for eight hours on said broken toe. By the time my shift was over, my foot was in agony and all I could think about was getting the heck out of there, taking my shoes off and maybe icing my foot down. When my shift ended, Hilary was on her dinner break and had told me before she left that if she wasn't back when it came time for me to leave to go ahead and go. The next morning when I came in, a very nasty note about my "unfriendliness" and how I needed to "improve my attitude" was waiting for me. This was the same girl who, a few months later when one of our sales associates poured scalding hot water from the steamer over my arm by accident, followed me into the bathroom where I ran to put cold water on my burned and blistered! arm to yell at me for leaving the floor without permission (did I mention the store was closed at the time?) and telling me to suck it up and quit being such a baby. Needless to say, I gave my notice not too long after that and that was the end of my big fashion career. Will Andy, the heroine of "Devil," do the same? Or will she stick it out and become the next Anna Wintour? Check the book out to see (or just go to the movie which opens this weekend).
That's it for now. If I don't have time to write again until after the holiday, Happy 4th of July, everyone!
KJ
Friday, June 30, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Book Review (finally)!
Okay, not much to talk about this go-around as I have been a bit busy with other things (see previous posts about suddenly finding myself unemployed). I can't believe I'm actually busier now than I was when I had a full-time job! It's weird. Anyway, what with that and the trip to Vegas and the re-reading of the entire Amber series (I'm only halfway through - heck, there are something like nine or ten of them!) I only have one book to talk about here.
"Covenants" by Lorna Freeman is one of the best "first" novels I've ever read. Following the (mis)adventures of a runaway mage apprentice turend soldier named Rabbit, the book introduces us to a magical world in which an uneasy truce exists between the magical Border Kingdom and the non-magical Kingdom of Iversterre. In contrast to a lot of disappointing books I've read lately, this work actually has MORE than enough plot! In fact, there's a natural break point about two thirds of the way through that I'm shocked didn't become the "end" of book one with the rest of the novel split off into a second book. There's more than enough magic and interesting fantastic creatures to keep the reader interested and poor Rabbit is as bewildered as the audience as the plot thickens and twists back on itself. This is one of the few books that has kept me on my toes all the way through and where I didn't figure out the villain and his plans by about page ten. Hurrah for Lorna Freeman!
But what's that you say? You hate to buy the first book of a series without all of them being published so you can get the whole thing at one time? Well, never fear. The second book of this series, "The King's Own," is already out and available.
In other news...the interview went well on Friday so I should hear something back by the end of this week. In the meantime, I've gotten a few hits from headhunters on Monster.com so we'll see if anything comes from that. I'm not sure what's going on with my potential date - we've exchanged a few e-mails, but I'm not sure if he's really into it or not. Or, it could just be that he's an example of my long-proposed theory that guys are lame at written communication (and okay, most of 'em are lame at verbal communication as well, but the written is even worse).
Gawd! It's been SO LONG since I had to think about this crap - I'm sure I have NO game left at all and if I do have it, I'm not sure where it is or how much dust it's hidden under.
Okay, c'est tout pour maintenant, mes amis! A la prochaine...
KJ
"Covenants" by Lorna Freeman is one of the best "first" novels I've ever read. Following the (mis)adventures of a runaway mage apprentice turend soldier named Rabbit, the book introduces us to a magical world in which an uneasy truce exists between the magical Border Kingdom and the non-magical Kingdom of Iversterre. In contrast to a lot of disappointing books I've read lately, this work actually has MORE than enough plot! In fact, there's a natural break point about two thirds of the way through that I'm shocked didn't become the "end" of book one with the rest of the novel split off into a second book. There's more than enough magic and interesting fantastic creatures to keep the reader interested and poor Rabbit is as bewildered as the audience as the plot thickens and twists back on itself. This is one of the few books that has kept me on my toes all the way through and where I didn't figure out the villain and his plans by about page ten. Hurrah for Lorna Freeman!
But what's that you say? You hate to buy the first book of a series without all of them being published so you can get the whole thing at one time? Well, never fear. The second book of this series, "The King's Own," is already out and available.
In other news...the interview went well on Friday so I should hear something back by the end of this week. In the meantime, I've gotten a few hits from headhunters on Monster.com so we'll see if anything comes from that. I'm not sure what's going on with my potential date - we've exchanged a few e-mails, but I'm not sure if he's really into it or not. Or, it could just be that he's an example of my long-proposed theory that guys are lame at written communication (and okay, most of 'em are lame at verbal communication as well, but the written is even worse).
Gawd! It's been SO LONG since I had to think about this crap - I'm sure I have NO game left at all and if I do have it, I'm not sure where it is or how much dust it's hidden under.
Okay, c'est tout pour maintenant, mes amis! A la prochaine...
KJ
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Update
I have a job interview at 3 PM today so I hope everyone will keep a good thought in their hearts for me and wish me luck.
Also...I got asked out on a date ;-) Wish me luck with that, too.
More news later!
KJ
P.S. In late breaking news...job interview re-scheduled by the company until 3 PM on Friday. Ryan has stomach flu and I've been up all night mucking out the crib and the bathroom repeatedly. Ah...the glamorous side of being a mom. Sigh.
Guess it's good the interview got postponed because I am now officially a zombie.
Also...I got asked out on a date ;-) Wish me luck with that, too.
More news later!
KJ
P.S. In late breaking news...job interview re-scheduled by the company until 3 PM on Friday. Ryan has stomach flu and I've been up all night mucking out the crib and the bathroom repeatedly. Ah...the glamorous side of being a mom. Sigh.
Guess it's good the interview got postponed because I am now officially a zombie.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Vegas, baby!
Ooops...sorry for the delay in posting. I've been out of town and then busy with job-hunting! I was lucky enough to get to go on a fabulous trip to Vegas over Memorial Day weekend and boy, was it a blast!
For some strange reason that I have yet to figure out...I got comp'd a mini-suite at the Paris! The view from my front window was incredible and the bathroom had a whirlpool and a walk-in shower. Gee, a girl could get used to this kind of life LOL!
The nightlife was great, too. We saw comedian Kevin James (he plays the husband on the tv show "King of Queens") at the Mirage and his act was wonderful! I always appreciate a comic who can be outrageously funny and yet relatively "clean" at the same time. I figure anyone can make people laugh with the dirty stuff, but it takes actual talent to be funny without it.
The next night, we had dinner at Emeril's restaurant at the MGM Grande and I was able to do the six course tasting menu WITH the wine package so I got to taste six different wines as well. The Riesling and the Moscato were my favorites. Yeah, I know, so I'm a sucker for sweet wines. So sue me. Oh, and did I mention the dessert? A flourless chocolate cake with a Godiva chocolate "milkshake" that gets poured over the top and OH MY GOD it was SO GOOD!
And yeah, it totally blew my diet for one night, but sometimes you've just gotta enjoy life! I made up for it by eating as lightly as possible for most of the rest of my meals (er...everyone ignore that lovely pastry I had at the French bakery in the Paris) and doing a LOT of walking so at the end of the trip I'd only gained 1 lb. (which I've since lost!) so I figure that was pretty good. It helps that my personal trainer at 24 Hour Fitness is continuing to kick my ass every week! Since I've been going to her, I've lost another 7.5 lbs., 2" off my hips and 1.25" off my waist and have gone down another dress size. And that's on top of the 45 lbs. I lost on my own before I started at the gym. Pretty darned impressive if I do say so myself. In fact, if it wouldn't blow my diet again, I'd say I deserve another piece of that dessert!
But, back to the trip.
We had lunch at Commander's Palace at the Aladdin one day - would you believe they have twenty-five cent martinis?! And there's a menu of like 100 different kinds you can get, too. But, I was good and only had 1 Cosmo and a seafood salad. I wanted those crab cakes and turtle soup big time, though!
The last night there, we went to go see "Ka" (a Cirque du Soleil show) at the MGM Grand. I hadn't been that up to see it as I've never been a big fan of Cirque du Soleil, but wow, this show was unbelievable! It was funny, beautiful, intense at times and just totally entertaining.
Umm...and did I mention there was shopping? This whole weight loss thing has proven to be VERY dangerous in that it has opened up an entire WORLD of shopping that was previously closed to me. Bad. Very, very bad. I got some really cute things at Ann Taylor Loft and Eddie Bauer as well as a great deal on a Jacqueline Jarrot handbag that I totally do NOT need, but it was so cute I couldn't pass it up. Besides, when something is 50% off I think it's kind of the law that you MUST get it.
I got some new Laura Mercier makeup at Sephora, too. I decided my regular foundation was too heavy for summertime and wanted to try one of her new tinted moisturizers as well as her lip gloss. Fun.
Sadly, it was then time to come home and delve more deeply into the job search. My resume is done and I've submitted it to one place and am working on getting it out to some others and taking some interviewing and negotiating classes in the next few days.
Busy, busy, busy...and trying to ignore the fact that this Sunday would have been my 12th wedding anniversary. I think perhaps a day at the spa is in order? Or maybe tea with the girls...we'll have to see.
Ta ta for now (and I promise a book review this week!)
KJ
For some strange reason that I have yet to figure out...I got comp'd a mini-suite at the Paris! The view from my front window was incredible and the bathroom had a whirlpool and a walk-in shower. Gee, a girl could get used to this kind of life LOL!
The nightlife was great, too. We saw comedian Kevin James (he plays the husband on the tv show "King of Queens") at the Mirage and his act was wonderful! I always appreciate a comic who can be outrageously funny and yet relatively "clean" at the same time. I figure anyone can make people laugh with the dirty stuff, but it takes actual talent to be funny without it.
The next night, we had dinner at Emeril's restaurant at the MGM Grande and I was able to do the six course tasting menu WITH the wine package so I got to taste six different wines as well. The Riesling and the Moscato were my favorites. Yeah, I know, so I'm a sucker for sweet wines. So sue me. Oh, and did I mention the dessert? A flourless chocolate cake with a Godiva chocolate "milkshake" that gets poured over the top and OH MY GOD it was SO GOOD!
And yeah, it totally blew my diet for one night, but sometimes you've just gotta enjoy life! I made up for it by eating as lightly as possible for most of the rest of my meals (er...everyone ignore that lovely pastry I had at the French bakery in the Paris) and doing a LOT of walking so at the end of the trip I'd only gained 1 lb. (which I've since lost!) so I figure that was pretty good. It helps that my personal trainer at 24 Hour Fitness is continuing to kick my ass every week! Since I've been going to her, I've lost another 7.5 lbs., 2" off my hips and 1.25" off my waist and have gone down another dress size. And that's on top of the 45 lbs. I lost on my own before I started at the gym. Pretty darned impressive if I do say so myself. In fact, if it wouldn't blow my diet again, I'd say I deserve another piece of that dessert!
But, back to the trip.
We had lunch at Commander's Palace at the Aladdin one day - would you believe they have twenty-five cent martinis?! And there's a menu of like 100 different kinds you can get, too. But, I was good and only had 1 Cosmo and a seafood salad. I wanted those crab cakes and turtle soup big time, though!
The last night there, we went to go see "Ka" (a Cirque du Soleil show) at the MGM Grand. I hadn't been that up to see it as I've never been a big fan of Cirque du Soleil, but wow, this show was unbelievable! It was funny, beautiful, intense at times and just totally entertaining.
Umm...and did I mention there was shopping? This whole weight loss thing has proven to be VERY dangerous in that it has opened up an entire WORLD of shopping that was previously closed to me. Bad. Very, very bad. I got some really cute things at Ann Taylor Loft and Eddie Bauer as well as a great deal on a Jacqueline Jarrot handbag that I totally do NOT need, but it was so cute I couldn't pass it up. Besides, when something is 50% off I think it's kind of the law that you MUST get it.
I got some new Laura Mercier makeup at Sephora, too. I decided my regular foundation was too heavy for summertime and wanted to try one of her new tinted moisturizers as well as her lip gloss. Fun.
Sadly, it was then time to come home and delve more deeply into the job search. My resume is done and I've submitted it to one place and am working on getting it out to some others and taking some interviewing and negotiating classes in the next few days.
Busy, busy, busy...and trying to ignore the fact that this Sunday would have been my 12th wedding anniversary. I think perhaps a day at the spa is in order? Or maybe tea with the girls...we'll have to see.
Ta ta for now (and I promise a book review this week!)
KJ
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
The long overdue update!
Whew! Long time no post. I should perhaps mention there’s been a small blip in my life. What’s that, you ask? Well, see, it wasn’t enough for the universe that I go through the h-e-l-l that is divorce. No. The lords of karma (along with some help from Toshiba) thought that now would be a good time for me to get laid off from my job of eight years.
So, let’s move on to the other books, shall we?
I read the latest installment of C.E. Murphy’s "Urban Shaman" series. Joanne (Siobhan)
Then, of course, there is the beauty that is Jim Butcher’s "Dresden" series. I just finished the latest installment, “Proven Guilty”, and I’m still at a loss as to how Butcher manages to get it right time after time with this series. Harry is back with a new mystery to solve, new villains to fight and gosh darn it but the White Council is STILL on his back although in a new and inventive way. This book is set at a horror movie convention so fans of the scary movies will enjoy the inside jokes sprinkled throughout and the book opens a number of interesting new possibilities for Harry’s future and yet is still a self-contained piece with enough of an ending to be satisfying. I’ve talked about these books before so no need for too much more detail. Frankly, if you haven’t picked up the first one and gotten well and truly addicted by now all I can say is hie thee to the nearest Barnes & Noble and get lost in the wonderful world of Harry Dresden!
Oh, and did I mention that the Sci Fi channel series based on the books has had 11 episodes picked up and that they’ll begin airing in January, 2007?
{insert fanfare and fireworks here}
As long as they don’t screw it up!
In other news, Daisy Jewelry is not long for this world. My supplier will no longer be carrying these beads and I haven’t been able to locate another source so that means when they’re gone…they’re gone! I’m already down to the last few pieces in the “clear” background color, but I have slightly more left in the blue, green, gray and red backgrounds.
Anyway, get ‘em while they last, folks! I’ll be updating the page as availability dwindles.
That's all for now. Take care, everyone!
KJ
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Mental "take out the trash" day
It’s been a few days since I updated the blog and I’ve got….nothing but a few meaningless bits of mental trash to kick to the curb so here goes:
First, and most importantly, the mediation appt. at the court today was cancelled. As in…it’s no longer necessary. Woo hoo! I was seriously dreading it so am glad I didn’t have to go. I may have to do some celebratory shopping at lunch…
Secondly, I dressed for the appointment because I didn’t know it had been cancelled until this morning so I look really cute today: dark rinse denim blazer, crisp white shirt, aqua/lime/white patterned skirt, chocolate brown Joan & David T-strap sandals and the sun is even coming out so I can take off the jacket and still not look too summery. Yay, me!
A few more songs for my embarrassing mix tape:
37. “Cherry” – Neil Diamond
38. “Cracklin’ Rosie” – Neil Diamond
39. “Sorcerer” – Stevie Nicks
40. “Kentucky Woman” – Neil Diamond
41. “I Am I Said” – Neil Diamond (I think I may’ve mentioned in a previous entry that I went through a “Neil Diamond period” in my life? I just discovered the CD in the car the other day LOL!)
42. “You’re So Vain” – Carly Simon
43. “Magic Bus” – The Who
44. “Mama’s Got a Squeeze Box” – The Who
Honorable mention goes to the theme song from the 1967 animated “Spiderman” tv show. To which I know ALL of the words (which either makes me super-cool OR an incredible dork…I’m not sure which) and which I, of course, taught my 3 year old son to sing and he, in turn, (and in a great spirit of sharing, I might add) taught to his entire daycare class. So, now, when I drive up in the afternoons to pick him up, I am serenaded as follows:
Spiderman, spiderman.
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web. Any size.
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out!
Here comes the Spiderman.
And yeah, there are several more verses and yeah, Ryan and I both know ‘em all, but if you want ‘em, you’ll have to Google for them. Neener neener.
What else? Oh, yeah. Finally found this picture on-line of the killer Anne Klein sandals. It doesn’t do them justice, though, because the leather upper is actually a bronze-brown with a bit of a metallic sheen to it that doesn’t show in the picture. Also, I didn’t pay that much for them (insert insanely gloating and self-satisfied giggle here). I’m picturing them with a pair of dark rinse, boot cut jeans and this top.
Now, if I could only be successful in my search for the PERFECT pair of jeans to wear with them! Why does shopping for jeans have to be so damned difficult? GRRRR!
Oh, I also need a great date on which to wear this fabulous outfit. Just think of the romance that will happen when I fall off the killer shoes, sprain or break an ankle in the process and need rescuing…
What? It could happen.
KJ
P.S. For all those who are laughing themselves silly right now…cut it out! Sparkle, this means you. Hey…at least I didn’t buy the gauchos, right?
First, and most importantly, the mediation appt. at the court today was cancelled. As in…it’s no longer necessary. Woo hoo! I was seriously dreading it so am glad I didn’t have to go. I may have to do some celebratory shopping at lunch…
Secondly, I dressed for the appointment because I didn’t know it had been cancelled until this morning so I look really cute today: dark rinse denim blazer, crisp white shirt, aqua/lime/white patterned skirt, chocolate brown Joan & David T-strap sandals and the sun is even coming out so I can take off the jacket and still not look too summery. Yay, me!
A few more songs for my embarrassing mix tape:
37. “Cherry” – Neil Diamond
38. “Cracklin’ Rosie” – Neil Diamond
39. “Sorcerer” – Stevie Nicks
40. “Kentucky Woman” – Neil Diamond
41. “I Am I Said” – Neil Diamond (I think I may’ve mentioned in a previous entry that I went through a “Neil Diamond period” in my life? I just discovered the CD in the car the other day LOL!)
42. “You’re So Vain” – Carly Simon
43. “Magic Bus” – The Who
44. “Mama’s Got a Squeeze Box” – The Who
Honorable mention goes to the theme song from the 1967 animated “Spiderman” tv show. To which I know ALL of the words (which either makes me super-cool OR an incredible dork…I’m not sure which) and which I, of course, taught my 3 year old son to sing and he, in turn, (and in a great spirit of sharing, I might add) taught to his entire daycare class. So, now, when I drive up in the afternoons to pick him up, I am serenaded as follows:
Spiderman, spiderman.
Does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web. Any size.
Catches thieves just like flies.
Look out!
Here comes the Spiderman.
And yeah, there are several more verses and yeah, Ryan and I both know ‘em all, but if you want ‘em, you’ll have to Google for them. Neener neener.
What else? Oh, yeah. Finally found this picture on-line of the killer Anne Klein sandals. It doesn’t do them justice, though, because the leather upper is actually a bronze-brown with a bit of a metallic sheen to it that doesn’t show in the picture. Also, I didn’t pay that much for them (insert insanely gloating and self-satisfied giggle here). I’m picturing them with a pair of dark rinse, boot cut jeans and this top.
Now, if I could only be successful in my search for the PERFECT pair of jeans to wear with them! Why does shopping for jeans have to be so damned difficult? GRRRR!
Oh, I also need a great date on which to wear this fabulous outfit. Just think of the romance that will happen when I fall off the killer shoes, sprain or break an ankle in the process and need rescuing…
What? It could happen.
KJ
P.S. For all those who are laughing themselves silly right now…cut it out! Sparkle, this means you. Hey…at least I didn’t buy the gauchos, right?
Friday, May 05, 2006
And another thing...
...and this one's for the guys...
Don't, I repeat, DO NOT pick your nose on international (or any other) television! I saw this guy being interviewed on CNN (hence the "international" part of this commandment) this morning and right in the middle of the interview he reaches up and goes digging in his left nostril. HE DIDN'T EVEN STOP TALKING WHILE HE DID IT!
I was all "wait, did he just...no, I don't believe...oh man, that guy JUST PICKED HIS NOSE ON CNN!"
I mean, these interviews are like 60 seconds long. He can't wait that long for the red light to go out before he goes nose-spelunking?
Ugh.
KJ
P.S. You know his buddies Tivo'd this and will replay it ad nauseam for the rest of his life and you know what? He deserves it because he PICKED HIS NOSE ON CNN!
Don't, I repeat, DO NOT pick your nose on international (or any other) television! I saw this guy being interviewed on CNN (hence the "international" part of this commandment) this morning and right in the middle of the interview he reaches up and goes digging in his left nostril. HE DIDN'T EVEN STOP TALKING WHILE HE DID IT!
I was all "wait, did he just...no, I don't believe...oh man, that guy JUST PICKED HIS NOSE ON CNN!"
I mean, these interviews are like 60 seconds long. He can't wait that long for the red light to go out before he goes nose-spelunking?
Ugh.
KJ
P.S. You know his buddies Tivo'd this and will replay it ad nauseam for the rest of his life and you know what? He deserves it because he PICKED HIS NOSE ON CNN!
Book Review and PSA
Not much reading going on this week in the “House of Kelly’s New Life.” I’ve been busy returning a bunch of clothes I bought that are now too big (yay) and had my first meeting with my trainer at 24 Hour Fitness and she totally kicked my ass.
Ow.
No one told me thin would be so painful LOL! She seems to think I can get down to a size 8. I’m not against the idea, but I’m not holding my breath, either. On the other hand, I’d probably have been a lot more into exercising a lot sooner if I’d known how many HOT guys my age are hanging out at the gym! Yummmmmmmyyyyy!
Okay, mind out of the gutter and back to the books. Except, the first book quite probably BELONGS in the gutter…or maybe the trashcan. I picked up Michele Hauf’s “Seraphim” against my better judgment and I really need to stop doing that. It almost never works out well. This book is of the done-to-death “rape and revenge” variety, but I did find the setting of France in the time of Jeanne d’Arc to be an interesting choice. Also intriguing was the idea of a woman as the infamous “Black Knight.” Those two things are what convinced me to pick the book up rather than pass it by. I still think that, in the hands of a skilled writer, those two elements could have made for a fascinating tale. Michele Hauf is not that writer. The dialogue is stilted as are the overly clichéd descriptions of “violet eyes” and other passages of that ilk. I did like the secondary character of Baldwin Ortolano, though. He injected some much-needed humor into a book that was otherwise dragging on and on.
Sadly, despite all of its obvious flaws, I might have kept reading this book except for one thing that pissed me off so badly I threw the book across the room. Here we have Seraphim who has successfully killed two of her enemies in the heat of battle and proven her mettle as a knight and as a strong woman and yet what does she do when a man comes on the scene? HE HAS TO CARRY HER IN HIS ARMS ACROSS A NEST OF SPIDERS! Now, I’ll admit I hate spiders as much as the next person, but come ON! The read is expected to believe that this character has survived the destruction of her entire family and estate, a rape, a grievous wound to her own throat that should have been fatal, and has take up arms against her enemies, ridden into battle and decapitated two of them but she has to be CARRIED BY A MAN OVER SOME SPIDERS???
Give me a freakin’ break.
So, I have no idea how the book continues and if you want to check it out yourself, be my guest. Just make sure to have some man carry you across the nest of spiders in front of the book store. Ugh.
Fortunately, the next book on my nightstand saved me. “Throne of Jade” by Naomi Novik is the second in her series about Temeraire, the dragon who fights for the English against Napoleon’s attempt to conquer all of Europe. I love this series. Not only is Laurence a terrific main character, but Temeraire, is fascinating as well. The relationship between the two of them forms a strong core for the rest of the story. And the third book comes out at the end of this month!
Well, that’s it for the books. I do have a PSA I’d like to post, though, so bear with me.
Ladies, can we talk? There are a couple of issues going on in the world today that are not only obnoxious but also appear to be approaching epidemic proportions. I’m speaking, of course, of the proliferation of hang-toe and lojeancrack.
Hang-toe is the term for a foot that has been crammed into a too-small sandal (usually of the platform variety) thus causing the toes to “hang” out over the edge of the shoe. What’s the cause of this strange and aesthetically displeasing trend? Have shoes suddenly shrunk? Are women’s feet suddenly swelling to elephantine proportions? Have shoe manufacturers stopped making anything larger than a size 5? Studies are underway to determine the actual cause. In the meantime, here are a few simple steps you can take to ensure you don’t fall victim to this vicious disease.
1. Go to the shoe store.
2. Get your foot measured.
3. Request shoes in the size determined by your measurement.
4. Try those shoes on (if they don’t have them in your size, pout prettily
and ask if they can be ordered from another store).
5. Once the shoes are on your feet, CAREFULLY observe your toes. Are
they hanging over the edge of the front of the shoe?
6. If you answered no to question 5, go ahead and buy the shoes.
7. If you answered yes to question 5, ALERT! This is NOT how shoes are
supposed to fit and you are in the early stages of “hang-toe.” But, you can
be saved. Ask the clerk to bring you a half-size LARGER.
8. Repeat steps 4-7 as needed.
Let’s all work together to stop the spread of this silent killer.
Equally as awful and yet far more widespread is the lojeancrack plague. Since this disease has been around longer, its origins are more well understood. Lojeancrack is caused by mothers who failed to give their daughters adequate instruction in how to correctly try on and purchase the right size of clothing and also how to determine what clothing is age-appropriate. Fortunately, a simple treatment program is available without a prescription. Simply follow this easy regimen:
1. Low-rise jeans and midriff tops are verboten for anyone over the age of
25. I don't care if you have the body of a supermodel - you look silly.
2. Understand what size you are and try jeans on accordingly (i.e. if you
wear a size 14 dress, you should not be trying on size 6 jeans).
3. Carefully observe yourself in the mirror when trying on jeans in the
following ways:
a. from the front – be alert for any sign of “muffin top” as it is a good
indicator of lojeancrack syndrome.
b. from the back – turn around and view your butt in the mirror to make
sure there are no early signs of lojeancrack.
c. practice sitting and bending over in the jeans while observing yourself
in the mirror.
4. If muffin top or lojeancrack are observed at any time – get a larger size
of pants or a style with a higher rise.
Ladies, if we all work together, the tragedies caused by these conditions can be eradicated for good. Let’s make hang-toe and lojeancrack go the way of polio and smallpox. Only YOU can prevent the spread of these dangerous diseases. Remember, just because you CAN wear it, doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD wear it.
And if you’re really, really, really that confused about the whole thing with the shoes and the pants and all…just ask yourself “what would Stacy and Clinton do?”
The preceding was a public service announcement brought to you by CWWWEPWHLB (the Coalition of Women Who Want to Eat in Public Without Having to Look at Buttcracks).
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Okay, I was attempting to be humorous, but seriously, people, what is UP with this? It was one thing when I could say “oh well, that’s a teenager and she’ll learn better over time” but I’m seeing grown women doing both of these things all the time now! I even saw “hangtoe” in a very glamorous clothing designer’s ad in a top magazine. The model’s toes were completely hanging over the front edges of her shoes. Truly unbelievable. And last Sunday night in a nice restaurant? Buttcracks everywhere. It was like they were the chef’s special du jour or something.
Stop it! All of you! Just stop it!
And, lest you think it is just me and my puritanical prejudices, I took a poll amongst the men present on Sunday evening and here are their responses:
“Cheap”
“Slutty”
“Trashy”
“Fat” (note: this was said about a woman who was most definitely NOT fat, but who had chosen a pair of jeans in the wrong cut and probably two sizes too small thus giving herself the APPEARANCE of being overweight when she was actually probably a decent size 8 or 10)
“That’s your one night stand right there”
“I wonder how much she charges?”
“If she has to show something off, how about a little cleavage?”
And okay, so none of them noticed the toes-over-the-shoes thing until I pointed it out, but once they noticed, they all agreed it looked stupid. And, you’ll be happy to know, at least two of them said they will probably always check out a woman’s feet/shoes from now on and be less than impressed if they don’t fit.
So fair warning…I’m out there edumacating the men of Orange County.
Y’all can thank me later.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
KJ
Ow.
No one told me thin would be so painful LOL! She seems to think I can get down to a size 8. I’m not against the idea, but I’m not holding my breath, either. On the other hand, I’d probably have been a lot more into exercising a lot sooner if I’d known how many HOT guys my age are hanging out at the gym! Yummmmmmmyyyyy!
Okay, mind out of the gutter and back to the books. Except, the first book quite probably BELONGS in the gutter…or maybe the trashcan. I picked up Michele Hauf’s “Seraphim” against my better judgment and I really need to stop doing that. It almost never works out well. This book is of the done-to-death “rape and revenge” variety, but I did find the setting of France in the time of Jeanne d’Arc to be an interesting choice. Also intriguing was the idea of a woman as the infamous “Black Knight.” Those two things are what convinced me to pick the book up rather than pass it by. I still think that, in the hands of a skilled writer, those two elements could have made for a fascinating tale. Michele Hauf is not that writer. The dialogue is stilted as are the overly clichéd descriptions of “violet eyes” and other passages of that ilk. I did like the secondary character of Baldwin Ortolano, though. He injected some much-needed humor into a book that was otherwise dragging on and on.
Sadly, despite all of its obvious flaws, I might have kept reading this book except for one thing that pissed me off so badly I threw the book across the room. Here we have Seraphim who has successfully killed two of her enemies in the heat of battle and proven her mettle as a knight and as a strong woman and yet what does she do when a man comes on the scene? HE HAS TO CARRY HER IN HIS ARMS ACROSS A NEST OF SPIDERS! Now, I’ll admit I hate spiders as much as the next person, but come ON! The read is expected to believe that this character has survived the destruction of her entire family and estate, a rape, a grievous wound to her own throat that should have been fatal, and has take up arms against her enemies, ridden into battle and decapitated two of them but she has to be CARRIED BY A MAN OVER SOME SPIDERS???
Give me a freakin’ break.
So, I have no idea how the book continues and if you want to check it out yourself, be my guest. Just make sure to have some man carry you across the nest of spiders in front of the book store. Ugh.
Fortunately, the next book on my nightstand saved me. “Throne of Jade” by Naomi Novik is the second in her series about Temeraire, the dragon who fights for the English against Napoleon’s attempt to conquer all of Europe. I love this series. Not only is Laurence a terrific main character, but Temeraire, is fascinating as well. The relationship between the two of them forms a strong core for the rest of the story. And the third book comes out at the end of this month!
Well, that’s it for the books. I do have a PSA I’d like to post, though, so bear with me.
Ladies, can we talk? There are a couple of issues going on in the world today that are not only obnoxious but also appear to be approaching epidemic proportions. I’m speaking, of course, of the proliferation of hang-toe and lojeancrack.
Hang-toe is the term for a foot that has been crammed into a too-small sandal (usually of the platform variety) thus causing the toes to “hang” out over the edge of the shoe. What’s the cause of this strange and aesthetically displeasing trend? Have shoes suddenly shrunk? Are women’s feet suddenly swelling to elephantine proportions? Have shoe manufacturers stopped making anything larger than a size 5? Studies are underway to determine the actual cause. In the meantime, here are a few simple steps you can take to ensure you don’t fall victim to this vicious disease.
1. Go to the shoe store.
2. Get your foot measured.
3. Request shoes in the size determined by your measurement.
4. Try those shoes on (if they don’t have them in your size, pout prettily
and ask if they can be ordered from another store).
5. Once the shoes are on your feet, CAREFULLY observe your toes. Are
they hanging over the edge of the front of the shoe?
6. If you answered no to question 5, go ahead and buy the shoes.
7. If you answered yes to question 5, ALERT! This is NOT how shoes are
supposed to fit and you are in the early stages of “hang-toe.” But, you can
be saved. Ask the clerk to bring you a half-size LARGER.
8. Repeat steps 4-7 as needed.
Let’s all work together to stop the spread of this silent killer.
Equally as awful and yet far more widespread is the lojeancrack plague. Since this disease has been around longer, its origins are more well understood. Lojeancrack is caused by mothers who failed to give their daughters adequate instruction in how to correctly try on and purchase the right size of clothing and also how to determine what clothing is age-appropriate. Fortunately, a simple treatment program is available without a prescription. Simply follow this easy regimen:
1. Low-rise jeans and midriff tops are verboten for anyone over the age of
25. I don't care if you have the body of a supermodel - you look silly.
2. Understand what size you are and try jeans on accordingly (i.e. if you
wear a size 14 dress, you should not be trying on size 6 jeans).
3. Carefully observe yourself in the mirror when trying on jeans in the
following ways:
a. from the front – be alert for any sign of “muffin top” as it is a good
indicator of lojeancrack syndrome.
b. from the back – turn around and view your butt in the mirror to make
sure there are no early signs of lojeancrack.
c. practice sitting and bending over in the jeans while observing yourself
in the mirror.
4. If muffin top or lojeancrack are observed at any time – get a larger size
of pants or a style with a higher rise.
Ladies, if we all work together, the tragedies caused by these conditions can be eradicated for good. Let’s make hang-toe and lojeancrack go the way of polio and smallpox. Only YOU can prevent the spread of these dangerous diseases. Remember, just because you CAN wear it, doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD wear it.
And if you’re really, really, really that confused about the whole thing with the shoes and the pants and all…just ask yourself “what would Stacy and Clinton do?”
The preceding was a public service announcement brought to you by CWWWEPWHLB (the Coalition of Women Who Want to Eat in Public Without Having to Look at Buttcracks).
We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Okay, I was attempting to be humorous, but seriously, people, what is UP with this? It was one thing when I could say “oh well, that’s a teenager and she’ll learn better over time” but I’m seeing grown women doing both of these things all the time now! I even saw “hangtoe” in a very glamorous clothing designer’s ad in a top magazine. The model’s toes were completely hanging over the front edges of her shoes. Truly unbelievable. And last Sunday night in a nice restaurant? Buttcracks everywhere. It was like they were the chef’s special du jour or something.
Stop it! All of you! Just stop it!
And, lest you think it is just me and my puritanical prejudices, I took a poll amongst the men present on Sunday evening and here are their responses:
“Cheap”
“Slutty”
“Trashy”
“Fat” (note: this was said about a woman who was most definitely NOT fat, but who had chosen a pair of jeans in the wrong cut and probably two sizes too small thus giving herself the APPEARANCE of being overweight when she was actually probably a decent size 8 or 10)
“That’s your one night stand right there”
“I wonder how much she charges?”
“If she has to show something off, how about a little cleavage?”
And okay, so none of them noticed the toes-over-the-shoes thing until I pointed it out, but once they noticed, they all agreed it looked stupid. And, you’ll be happy to know, at least two of them said they will probably always check out a woman’s feet/shoes from now on and be less than impressed if they don’t fit.
So fair warning…I’m out there edumacating the men of Orange County.
Y’all can thank me later.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
KJ
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Semi-sucky
Y’know that feeling when things are not going great, but they’re not awful either? When life is semi-sucky and you just feel kind of blah and find yourself making up stupid phrases like “semi-sucky?” That’s me today.
The court date has been set. I got the draft papers in the mail last night and I guess it’s just hitting me all over again that this is really happening. I’m going to be divorced. I’m going to be 40+ and divorced with a child.
Is it just me or can anyone else see the big flashing red “D” over my head?
I guess it’s just hitting me that this is not something I want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the ex back. In fact, can’t get rid of him fast enough/wish he’d fall off the end of the earth/hope the door DOES hit him in the ass on his way out. But, I don’t want to be D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D either. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t want to be A-L-O-N-E (although it’s certainly preferable to being coupled to the wrong person).
Of course, there are some positive things to the situation (in no particular order):
1. I’ve lost 45 lbs.! I’ve got more to go, but I’m starting to look pretty darned good if I do say so myself.
2. I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer and have my first session later this week.
3. I’m looking into yoga and pilates classes and I’ve heard there are some great new dance/aerobic classes coming (salsa, hip hop and even striptease!) that sound like fun, too.
4. I get to spend more time with Ryan which is just the best thing in the world.
5. I have a terrific family and great friends.
6. I’m healthy.
7. The house is peaceful.
8. No one’s pissed at me and I’m not afraid any more.
9. I can sleep at night (well, okay, not last night but that’s a rarity).
10. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new DVR that the cable company installed this last week.
11. I’m planning a complete redecoration of my bedroom and I can’t wait!
11. I even get the occasional chance to make jewelry…
…although my hobby du jour seems to be clothes shopping to replace my wardrobe with smaller sizes. Ummmm…anyone know a good tailor? I’ve got about 4 pairs of pants, a skirt and a bunch of tops that all need to be taken in and/or hemmed.
{Can I insert a mini-rant on a completely different topic here? I hate being 5’5.5” Pant lengths are all based on someone who is 5’6” which means that all average length pants are too long for me. However, petite length pants are too short. So, I either have to constantly wear 3” heels with my pants (looks good, but not so great for the feet to do it on a daily basis especially at work) OR I have to get stuff altered. Which I always SAY I’m going to do, but I seriously don’t have the time to be constantly running stuff back and forth to the tailor. Not to mention it’s hard to find a GOOD tailor who won’t ruin my clothes. Of the few things I’ve had altered, NONE have been satisfactory. I even have a pair of pants where the legs are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LENGTHS now! GRRR! Oh, and then there was the chick who did the alterations on my wedding dress and re-attached the skirt (wedding dresses have to have the length taken up at the waistline rather than the hem when there’s decoration at the hem) BACKWARDS. Hmm…maybe I should’ve taken that as an omen? Anyway…getting stuff altered sucks. Okay, back to your regularly scheduled blog now.}
So, there’s a lot to be happy and thankful for, but I’m still mourning the end of something that wasn’t supposed to end and wishing that it had been possible to save it. Oh well, I’m sure that feeling will pass with time.
Here’s to the rest of my life – may it be fabulous and filled with unbelievably hot shoes (and hopefully a hot guy or three LOL)!
KJ
The court date has been set. I got the draft papers in the mail last night and I guess it’s just hitting me all over again that this is really happening. I’m going to be divorced. I’m going to be 40+ and divorced with a child.
Is it just me or can anyone else see the big flashing red “D” over my head?
I guess it’s just hitting me that this is not something I want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the ex back. In fact, can’t get rid of him fast enough/wish he’d fall off the end of the earth/hope the door DOES hit him in the ass on his way out. But, I don’t want to be D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D either. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t want to be A-L-O-N-E (although it’s certainly preferable to being coupled to the wrong person).
Of course, there are some positive things to the situation (in no particular order):
1. I’ve lost 45 lbs.! I’ve got more to go, but I’m starting to look pretty darned good if I do say so myself.
2. I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer and have my first session later this week.
3. I’m looking into yoga and pilates classes and I’ve heard there are some great new dance/aerobic classes coming (salsa, hip hop and even striptease!) that sound like fun, too.
4. I get to spend more time with Ryan which is just the best thing in the world.
5. I have a terrific family and great friends.
6. I’m healthy.
7. The house is peaceful.
8. No one’s pissed at me and I’m not afraid any more.
9. I can sleep at night (well, okay, not last night but that’s a rarity).
10. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new DVR that the cable company installed this last week.
11. I’m planning a complete redecoration of my bedroom and I can’t wait!
11. I even get the occasional chance to make jewelry…
…although my hobby du jour seems to be clothes shopping to replace my wardrobe with smaller sizes. Ummmm…anyone know a good tailor? I’ve got about 4 pairs of pants, a skirt and a bunch of tops that all need to be taken in and/or hemmed.
{Can I insert a mini-rant on a completely different topic here? I hate being 5’5.5” Pant lengths are all based on someone who is 5’6” which means that all average length pants are too long for me. However, petite length pants are too short. So, I either have to constantly wear 3” heels with my pants (looks good, but not so great for the feet to do it on a daily basis especially at work) OR I have to get stuff altered. Which I always SAY I’m going to do, but I seriously don’t have the time to be constantly running stuff back and forth to the tailor. Not to mention it’s hard to find a GOOD tailor who won’t ruin my clothes. Of the few things I’ve had altered, NONE have been satisfactory. I even have a pair of pants where the legs are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LENGTHS now! GRRR! Oh, and then there was the chick who did the alterations on my wedding dress and re-attached the skirt (wedding dresses have to have the length taken up at the waistline rather than the hem when there’s decoration at the hem) BACKWARDS. Hmm…maybe I should’ve taken that as an omen? Anyway…getting stuff altered sucks. Okay, back to your regularly scheduled blog now.}
So, there’s a lot to be happy and thankful for, but I’m still mourning the end of something that wasn’t supposed to end and wishing that it had been possible to save it. Oh well, I’m sure that feeling will pass with time.
Here’s to the rest of my life – may it be fabulous and filled with unbelievably hot shoes (and hopefully a hot guy or three LOL)!
KJ
Monday, May 01, 2006
Leftovers
I had wanted to post a detail picture of the glass pendant from the last post, but blogger was being stupid and wouldn't let me add another picture. So, here it is:
The heart and leaf spray are done in an iridescent aqua foil on a black glass background. The front is encased in clear glass which gives depth and gives the piece the feeling of looking through a window at the design. Simple and lovely.
KJ
And on the 6th day she created...
...JEWELRY!
Yes, I actually got some pieces made this weekend. Yay for me!
I'll post pics below, but thought I'd take the time to mention that now is a good time to buy anything from the site that you've got your eye on because the prices of silver and gold? They are a-risin' most dramatically. I've already received price increase notices from at least two of my vendors and expect the others will follow suit shortly.
All this means that MY prices are going to have to go up, unfortunately. So, head over to the website and get yourself a deal while you can.
And now on to the pictures...
Back in January, I attended the L.A. Gift Show with a friend and was lucky enough to come across a vendor selling pre-made leather necklaces at a great price. I thought it would be a good way for me to cut down on my labor while making some cute summer necklaces so I could offer them at a nice price. Sadly, they've been languishing in a drawer lately because I've been so busy with divorce stuff and custom orders that I didn't even have the minutes it takes to zap a pendant on and get the finished piece photographed.
That all changed this weekend when I was doing some tidying up in the bead room and found this great Jeff Welsh glass pendant. I saw it and thought "that REALLY needs to be worn by someone" so I grabbed a leather necklace, zapped the pendant on and voila! Done.
Here's the necklace:
Yes, I actually got some pieces made this weekend. Yay for me!
I'll post pics below, but thought I'd take the time to mention that now is a good time to buy anything from the site that you've got your eye on because the prices of silver and gold? They are a-risin' most dramatically. I've already received price increase notices from at least two of my vendors and expect the others will follow suit shortly.
All this means that MY prices are going to have to go up, unfortunately. So, head over to the website and get yourself a deal while you can.
And now on to the pictures...
Back in January, I attended the L.A. Gift Show with a friend and was lucky enough to come across a vendor selling pre-made leather necklaces at a great price. I thought it would be a good way for me to cut down on my labor while making some cute summer necklaces so I could offer them at a nice price. Sadly, they've been languishing in a drawer lately because I've been so busy with divorce stuff and custom orders that I didn't even have the minutes it takes to zap a pendant on and get the finished piece photographed.
That all changed this weekend when I was doing some tidying up in the bead room and found this great Jeff Welsh glass pendant. I saw it and thought "that REALLY needs to be worn by someone" so I grabbed a leather necklace, zapped the pendant on and voila! Done.
Here's the necklace:
After that, I worked on a custom order. The two necklaces I posted the other day were for a particular customer to match a pink sweater set. She took them both and also commissioned something to match a couple of mauve sweaters (one lighter and one darker). After looking through my bead stash, she settled on some faceted, coin-shaped shell beads and I came up with this design for her:
In addition to the shell beads, I used some faceted Czech crystal rondelles in a pale amethyst color, some Bali vermeil daisy spacers and deep mauve Swarovski pearls. The total length is 24" and the clasp is a vermeil toggle clasp.
Although the customer is only going to be buying the necklace, I had enough beads left over to make a bracelet and earrings so those pieces will be up for sale on the site later this week.
That's it for now. I still have another embroidered cuff bracelet in the works and maybe I can get in some more jewelry-making time this week. Drat those pesky chores that have to be done all the time!
KJ
Friday, April 28, 2006
If it's Friday - it must be Book Review Day
This was a good week for books. I blazed through three of them and, with the exception of a few minor flaws, all of them were really enjoyable. That almost never happens!
First up is “The Hidden Stars” by Madeline Howard. This book combines everything I love about fantasy: a richly detailed background world, interesting characters and best of all, a well done “ancient tales told around the fire” voice. The latter is VERY hard to pull off without sounding silly, but Howard does a great job with it. I could feel strong elements of both Tolkien and Andre Norton in this book and yet it was unique to itself and not a rip-off in any way. I agree with the Amazon reviewers who said that some of the characters were perhaps too one-dimensional, but I feel that mostly relates to the secondary characters. Sinderian, Faolein and Prince Ruan all have inner demons to struggle with as well as the problems caused by trying to survive in a sorcerous, war-torn realm.
I only have two criticisms. I don’t care much for the shifting viewpoints - I prefer to follow one or at most two viewpoints in a novel, but that’s more of a personal preference. Secondly, there was no resolution or end to this book. It’s quite obviously meant to be the first in a series (there’s even an excerpt from book #2 at the back), but I’m a little concerned about whether the rest of the series will actually be published. Amazon certainly doesn’t have a listing for it yet and that never bodes well. Plus, I understand that it’s all about the “series” nowadays, but I still think each individual book should be able to stand on its own and be a complete story. So, on the whole, I recommend this, but you might want to wait until we see if the sequel is actually going to get published or not.
From high fantasy, I switched over to urban fantasy with “Nightlife”by Rob Thurman. I thought this book had an interesting concept and a lot of potential, but I’m not sure it completely lived up to said potential. I like the whole “what would you do if you were half a monster” idea, but the end result is a little too “teenage guy” for me. Of course, since the main characters ARE teenage guys, that argues well for the author’s ability to be authentic to the characters. I felt a lot of “Buffy-verse” influence in this book and I also had trouble buying that Niko, the fully human brother, was so much more of a bad-ass than his younger brother Cal AND all of the various monsters.
However, the monsters ARE interesting and unusual. They’re also different from the recent market-overload of werewolves and vampires (although the description of the Auphe reminds me of the creepy vampire in the old “Nosferatu” movie.) The troll in particular is very well done. All in all, I rather enjoyed this book despite its flaws.
And lastly, I went back to high fantasy with “The Shining City” by Kate Forsyth. I’ve been enjoying her “Witches of Eileanan” series for a long time. The first series finished with "The Fathomless Caves" and this book is the second installment of the second series. Forsyth has moved on to follow the adventures of the children of the original characters and has added a new character in Rhiannon, the wild satyricorn girl who tames a flying horse.
This story takes place (as do all the other books) in the world of Eileanan - a well done background world that is richly peopled with different magical races. In addition, the author also gives the reader the intrigue of a royal court and the tragedy of doomed romances. One thing Forsyth absolutely excels at is maintaining tension and a fast pace. Her books are characterized by the reader’s inability to “find a good stopping place” to put the book down for the night. I don’t suggest them as bedtime reading because you WILL be up all night trying to find out what will happen at Rhiannon’s trial and whether she’ll survive or not.
I will warn you that Forsyth does have a (to some) disturbing tendency to kill off main characters when she’s through with them – she proved this quite well in the first series. In addition, I personally find the “brogue” that most of the characters speak in to be rather wearying after a while. There’s a little too much use of “ye ken” and “happen ye will” and “how are ye yourself” for my taste. Lastly, I found in this particular book that the characters seemed a little too ready to overlook the obvious. Having followed them all through about eight or nine books now, I have a good sense that none of them are fools (in addition to which, there are prophetic dreams) and yet there’s a lot that seems to pass beneath the notice of these very intelligent, powerful people. That didn’t ring quite true to me. But, I do always have to find little things to complain about (it’s so fun to be a perfectionist!) so most people probably won’t be bothered by this. I really do highly recommend all of Forsyth’s books and this one is no exception.
That’s it for this week. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
KJ
First up is “The Hidden Stars” by Madeline Howard. This book combines everything I love about fantasy: a richly detailed background world, interesting characters and best of all, a well done “ancient tales told around the fire” voice. The latter is VERY hard to pull off without sounding silly, but Howard does a great job with it. I could feel strong elements of both Tolkien and Andre Norton in this book and yet it was unique to itself and not a rip-off in any way. I agree with the Amazon reviewers who said that some of the characters were perhaps too one-dimensional, but I feel that mostly relates to the secondary characters. Sinderian, Faolein and Prince Ruan all have inner demons to struggle with as well as the problems caused by trying to survive in a sorcerous, war-torn realm.
I only have two criticisms. I don’t care much for the shifting viewpoints - I prefer to follow one or at most two viewpoints in a novel, but that’s more of a personal preference. Secondly, there was no resolution or end to this book. It’s quite obviously meant to be the first in a series (there’s even an excerpt from book #2 at the back), but I’m a little concerned about whether the rest of the series will actually be published. Amazon certainly doesn’t have a listing for it yet and that never bodes well. Plus, I understand that it’s all about the “series” nowadays, but I still think each individual book should be able to stand on its own and be a complete story. So, on the whole, I recommend this, but you might want to wait until we see if the sequel is actually going to get published or not.
From high fantasy, I switched over to urban fantasy with “Nightlife”by Rob Thurman. I thought this book had an interesting concept and a lot of potential, but I’m not sure it completely lived up to said potential. I like the whole “what would you do if you were half a monster” idea, but the end result is a little too “teenage guy” for me. Of course, since the main characters ARE teenage guys, that argues well for the author’s ability to be authentic to the characters. I felt a lot of “Buffy-verse” influence in this book and I also had trouble buying that Niko, the fully human brother, was so much more of a bad-ass than his younger brother Cal AND all of the various monsters.
However, the monsters ARE interesting and unusual. They’re also different from the recent market-overload of werewolves and vampires (although the description of the Auphe reminds me of the creepy vampire in the old “Nosferatu” movie.) The troll in particular is very well done. All in all, I rather enjoyed this book despite its flaws.
And lastly, I went back to high fantasy with “The Shining City” by Kate Forsyth. I’ve been enjoying her “Witches of Eileanan” series for a long time. The first series finished with "The Fathomless Caves" and this book is the second installment of the second series. Forsyth has moved on to follow the adventures of the children of the original characters and has added a new character in Rhiannon, the wild satyricorn girl who tames a flying horse.
This story takes place (as do all the other books) in the world of Eileanan - a well done background world that is richly peopled with different magical races. In addition, the author also gives the reader the intrigue of a royal court and the tragedy of doomed romances. One thing Forsyth absolutely excels at is maintaining tension and a fast pace. Her books are characterized by the reader’s inability to “find a good stopping place” to put the book down for the night. I don’t suggest them as bedtime reading because you WILL be up all night trying to find out what will happen at Rhiannon’s trial and whether she’ll survive or not.
I will warn you that Forsyth does have a (to some) disturbing tendency to kill off main characters when she’s through with them – she proved this quite well in the first series. In addition, I personally find the “brogue” that most of the characters speak in to be rather wearying after a while. There’s a little too much use of “ye ken” and “happen ye will” and “how are ye yourself” for my taste. Lastly, I found in this particular book that the characters seemed a little too ready to overlook the obvious. Having followed them all through about eight or nine books now, I have a good sense that none of them are fools (in addition to which, there are prophetic dreams) and yet there’s a lot that seems to pass beneath the notice of these very intelligent, powerful people. That didn’t ring quite true to me. But, I do always have to find little things to complain about (it’s so fun to be a perfectionist!) so most people probably won’t be bothered by this. I really do highly recommend all of Forsyth’s books and this one is no exception.
That’s it for this week. I hope everyone has a great weekend!
KJ
The Adventures of BreakupGirl!
Or, as in my case, DivorceGirl! I just thought this was a great way to support yourself or a friend through any kind of break up. Go forth and enjoy: BreakupGirl.net
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Ode to Memes
A meme away A meme away Weeeeeooooweeeeooo A meme um um away.
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight…
Shut up – it’s a REAL song.
Gee, I hope “meme” is pronounced “meem” the way I think it is and not “mimi” or "mem" or the above song pun is going to be completely wasted…
Stuff I love (other than the obvious kid, family, God, etc.):
1. Creating awesome new jewelry designs. To wit:
2. Creating an awesome new jewelry design that I get paid for. Hopefully one of the above...
3. A good book – I mean REALLY good. Un-put-downable good.
4. Eddie Izzard’s comedy. “Cake or death?” “Cake, please.” “Ciao!”
5. New clothes.
6. New shoes.
7. Butterflies.
8. Seashells. I was crazy for seashells as a kid. And I don’t just mean the kind that you can pick up off the beach (except that you can’t any more because everything is a marine sanctuary – hey, hermit crabs need homes, too. Yet I find it kind of sad that future generations (i.e. MY kid) will not have the simple joy of finding and collecting sea shells and taking them home. Ditto for the outlawing of fireworks. Hate you fireworks outlawers! Boo! Hiss!) But anyway, I have lots of cool shells like a full sized nautilus, another nautilus cut in half so you can see all the chambers, cowries, conches and others that I used to know the name of but don’t any more because apparently 40 years old = brain damage. My mom still has a basket of all my shells sitting on the floor in her guest bathroom. Hi mom!
9. The way the ocean looks on a stormy day – all iron gray and waves pounding and stuff.
10. Shark Week – because, really, who can’t get enough of giant toothed monsters that are definitely going to EAT YOU ALIVE the next time you stick a toe in the ocean.
11. 5 PM on Friday.
12. Not having anyone sucking up all the joy and happiness in my house with his angry, obnoxious presence.
13. Feeling peaceful.
14. Being free to do (or not do) whatever I want whenever I want in my own house without someone else bitching about it and telling me why MY way makes me such a freak and loser.
15. Writing. Although I should probably not inflict it on the public, but hey, I didn’t INVENT blogging. I just follow along with the trends like the good little sheep I am. Baaa!
16. “Ryanisms” – because the kid can be darned funny. Like when I found him attempting to re-program the photo printer which, with my technology issues, would be impossible to fix or return to its previous settings (whatever the heck they happen to be) and I attempted to explain why that was a bad idea and his response was “I was not aware of that, Mommy.” Or this morning when I did a lane change and passed this really slow car that had been in front of us and from the back seat I hear “Muy awesome! You beat that car, Mom! You are the coolest mom EVER!” I love that kid!
Stuff I hate (again, other than the obvious war, famine, cancer, etc.):
1. Cigarette smoke. I mean, really. If smoking is supposed to kill you, could all the smokers who blow smoke on my nice clean clothes and my clean hair and my food and ruin the way the air actually smells clean after a rain shower just get on with dying already so I can have all my clean stuff back and stop smelling your disgusting smoke?
2. The checkout girl at Panda Express who COUGHED on her hands and then tried to hand me back my change that she was holding and had coughed all over. Um, here, just drop it into my wallet and I’ll disinfect it later, thank you.
3. People who cuss in front of my kid. Yeah? Well, fuck you, too. Hey, Jenie, lookee…I said a bad word. In public! I know you’re relieved.
4. Co-workers who take a jillion smoke breaks a day and expect everyone to just deal with it and then track and report the amount of time that other employees spend in the bathroom. Because yeah, your drug addiction outranks a necessary bodily function any day. Not.
5. Custodial staff who jam toilet paper into the dispensers so firmly that it is IMPOSSIBLE to extract without using both hands and tearing off a square at a time. It’s called a ROLL for a REASON, people. It’s supposed to ROLL. And the person occupying the stall should get to decide how much paper she (or he) might need at any given time.
6. Building engineers who design a company bathroom with only three stalls. Two of which are next to each other and the other one of which is the handicapped stall so therefore, there’s no option to have a “courtesy stall buffer” between occupants. For privacy, one must use the handicapped stall which A. is not fair to the ACTUAL handicapped people who may need it and 2. has the toilet raised up so high that anyone who doesn’t have giraffe legs is left with their feet dangling a few inches off the floor which is NOT the optimum position for performing necessary functions.
I’m just sayin’…
7. Building engineers who put self-flushing toilets in the aforementioned itty bitty bathroom thus removing the option of the “courtesy flush” unless one wishes to perform the complicated ritual required for the self-flushing toilets to actually self-flush which is kind of not possible to do in the middle of necessary functions if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Plus, these stupid things never work right, anyway. One of them flushes itself incessantly whether you’re still sitting on it or not which is disconcerting unless maybe it was SUPPOSED to be a bidet? The other one WON’T flush no matter what you do which makes you feel guilty for walking way (except what ELSE are you supposed to DO?) and is disconcerting (to say the least) for the next occupant.
8. People who have loads of sick and vacation time saved up and yet still come to work deathly ill with whatever plague is currently making the rounds and pass their germs on to others who have NO vacation or sick time left on account of having to use it all for sick kids, lawyer meetings, divorce court, more lawyer meetings and actual vacation.
Disclaimer: Any mention of work, co-workers or employees is merely hypothetical and not meant to refer to any actually place of workage at which I may or may not work.
9. The snails who ate all my impatiens while I was on vacation.
10. Waterproof mascara that isn’t.
11. My current digital camera.
12. The way my windshield wipers seem to need replacing every other month.
13. The annoying way the windshield wipers sound because I don’t have the time, money or energy to deal with replacing them right now. Besides, didn’t anyone ever tell you “it never rains in Southern California…”? So, really, what’s the point of windshield wipers?
14. Men who tell you they are leaving you because the two of you have different values when what they really mean is that their values consist of lying, cheating and just generally being asshats and also that they found someone thinner (and stupider) who was willing to bang them.
Stuff I have a love-hate relationship with.
1. Donuts. You suck me in with your fried-in-fat-sugary-coated-goodness and then you make my pants too tight. Damn you!
2. Beads. You suck me in with your sparkling loveliness and then my electricity gets shut off because I spent all my money on beads. Um, not really, dad! Hi!
3. Trendy clothes. Because you’re SO CUTE. And also REALLY IN RIGHT NOW. But I can’t afford you and you’ll be out of style by the time I get you home from the store anyway.
4. Trendy shoes. See #3 above.
5. Bargains. Because I do so love a bargain. And yet, I’m a price snob (i.e. if the price seems “too good to be true” I immediately assume I’m being scammed and walk away and then later regret that I missed out on “that great bargain”) However, I’m working on this because I just bought some stuff from Payless Shoes (trendy shoes for $17.99! a bargain! if they don’t fall apart in a week!) in the hopes that it’s okay to indulge in “trendy” if it costs you less than $20.00. And also, who knew they had such cute shoes? Not me, apparently.
6. “All My Children” Hey, I love me some Tad Martin, but if I hear Kendall call her pregnancy pillow “this baby” one more time I’m going to puke. Also, Cameron Mathison (Ryan Lavery)? Should be seen (preferably sans shirt) and not heard. And Dixie? Girl, what is up with your HAIR?
7. Diet Coke. Because you’re calorie free but my mother says you are causing me brain damage with your aspartame.
8. Dr. Pepper. Because (shhhh!) you taste better than Diet Coke (which I thought was impossible) but you have CALORIES. If I drink you, I cannot have dessert. And since I am getting divorced – dessert is NOT optional. And Diet Dr. Pepper is SOOO not an option. It tastes like stinky feet.
9. Chocolate. See #1 Donuts above.
10. Divorce. Because I’m so much happier now that he’s gone…and I feel so guilty about that.
Which leads me to my list of “things I do now that I’m (almost) divorced that I didn’t do before.”
1. Work out.
2. Wear jeans and look damn good in them.
3. Wear high heels and look damn good in them. It’s amazing how much easier it is to walk on stilts when you’ve dropped 40 or so pounds. Love you, Anne Klein shoes-of-death!
4. Wear eye makeup. Okay, I wore it on occasion before the separation, but very, very rarely. And yet, I used to LOVE eye makeup (that whole 80’s thing, remember?) I just got to where I couldn’t be bothered with it any more. But, I hear blue eyeshadow is making a comeback! What’s next? Mousse with gold glitter in it (don’t ask…it was the 80’s).
5. ________________ (private)
6. ________________ (private)
7. Indulge in my hobbies and watch TV without feeling guilty.
8. Go to movies by myself on Friday nights. I’ve always done this on the weekends or on weekdays off from work (I kinda enjoy that whole “theater all to myself feeling”) but never thought I could do it on “date night.” Not only can I do it, but it’s nice to pick a movie I actually want to SEE (and that will not give me nightmares due to blood and guts and explosions). Plus, I don’t have to put up with the sighing and fidgeting from the dork who didn’t want to see said movie.
9. Notice hot guys. Wonder if they’re married or not, how old they are and whether they can sit through a chick flick without fidgeting.
10. Figure out technology stuff by myself.
11. Find that it’s actually easier to figure it out myself than to go through someone who thought he was an expert but who, I’m finding, actually didn’t know what the heck he was doing.
12. Stand up for myself.
13. Think about getting back into scuba diving. (note to self: get higher paying job so I can afford to dive in WARM water).
And that’s it for this week’s “Ode to Memes”
A meme away A meme away Weeeeeeooooweeeeooo A meme um um away
Near the village, the peaceful village
The lion sleeps tonight
Near the village, the quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight
A meme away A meme away Weeeeeooooweeeeooo A meme um um away
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
And, now that I've outed myself as the biggest dork of all time...
Take care, everyone!
KJ
In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps tonight…
Shut up – it’s a REAL song.
Gee, I hope “meme” is pronounced “meem” the way I think it is and not “mimi” or "mem" or the above song pun is going to be completely wasted…
Stuff I love (other than the obvious kid, family, God, etc.):
1. Creating awesome new jewelry designs. To wit:
2. Creating an awesome new jewelry design that I get paid for. Hopefully one of the above...
3. A good book – I mean REALLY good. Un-put-downable good.
4. Eddie Izzard’s comedy. “Cake or death?” “Cake, please.” “Ciao!”
5. New clothes.
6. New shoes.
7. Butterflies.
8. Seashells. I was crazy for seashells as a kid. And I don’t just mean the kind that you can pick up off the beach (except that you can’t any more because everything is a marine sanctuary – hey, hermit crabs need homes, too. Yet I find it kind of sad that future generations (i.e. MY kid) will not have the simple joy of finding and collecting sea shells and taking them home. Ditto for the outlawing of fireworks. Hate you fireworks outlawers! Boo! Hiss!) But anyway, I have lots of cool shells like a full sized nautilus, another nautilus cut in half so you can see all the chambers, cowries, conches and others that I used to know the name of but don’t any more because apparently 40 years old = brain damage. My mom still has a basket of all my shells sitting on the floor in her guest bathroom. Hi mom!
9. The way the ocean looks on a stormy day – all iron gray and waves pounding and stuff.
10. Shark Week – because, really, who can’t get enough of giant toothed monsters that are definitely going to EAT YOU ALIVE the next time you stick a toe in the ocean.
11. 5 PM on Friday.
12. Not having anyone sucking up all the joy and happiness in my house with his angry, obnoxious presence.
13. Feeling peaceful.
14. Being free to do (or not do) whatever I want whenever I want in my own house without someone else bitching about it and telling me why MY way makes me such a freak and loser.
15. Writing. Although I should probably not inflict it on the public, but hey, I didn’t INVENT blogging. I just follow along with the trends like the good little sheep I am. Baaa!
16. “Ryanisms” – because the kid can be darned funny. Like when I found him attempting to re-program the photo printer which, with my technology issues, would be impossible to fix or return to its previous settings (whatever the heck they happen to be) and I attempted to explain why that was a bad idea and his response was “I was not aware of that, Mommy.” Or this morning when I did a lane change and passed this really slow car that had been in front of us and from the back seat I hear “Muy awesome! You beat that car, Mom! You are the coolest mom EVER!” I love that kid!
Stuff I hate (again, other than the obvious war, famine, cancer, etc.):
1. Cigarette smoke. I mean, really. If smoking is supposed to kill you, could all the smokers who blow smoke on my nice clean clothes and my clean hair and my food and ruin the way the air actually smells clean after a rain shower just get on with dying already so I can have all my clean stuff back and stop smelling your disgusting smoke?
2. The checkout girl at Panda Express who COUGHED on her hands and then tried to hand me back my change that she was holding and had coughed all over. Um, here, just drop it into my wallet and I’ll disinfect it later, thank you.
3. People who cuss in front of my kid. Yeah? Well, fuck you, too. Hey, Jenie, lookee…I said a bad word. In public! I know you’re relieved.
4. Co-workers who take a jillion smoke breaks a day and expect everyone to just deal with it and then track and report the amount of time that other employees spend in the bathroom. Because yeah, your drug addiction outranks a necessary bodily function any day. Not.
5. Custodial staff who jam toilet paper into the dispensers so firmly that it is IMPOSSIBLE to extract without using both hands and tearing off a square at a time. It’s called a ROLL for a REASON, people. It’s supposed to ROLL. And the person occupying the stall should get to decide how much paper she (or he) might need at any given time.
6. Building engineers who design a company bathroom with only three stalls. Two of which are next to each other and the other one of which is the handicapped stall so therefore, there’s no option to have a “courtesy stall buffer” between occupants. For privacy, one must use the handicapped stall which A. is not fair to the ACTUAL handicapped people who may need it and 2. has the toilet raised up so high that anyone who doesn’t have giraffe legs is left with their feet dangling a few inches off the floor which is NOT the optimum position for performing necessary functions.
I’m just sayin’…
7. Building engineers who put self-flushing toilets in the aforementioned itty bitty bathroom thus removing the option of the “courtesy flush” unless one wishes to perform the complicated ritual required for the self-flushing toilets to actually self-flush which is kind of not possible to do in the middle of necessary functions if you know what I mean. And I think you do. Plus, these stupid things never work right, anyway. One of them flushes itself incessantly whether you’re still sitting on it or not which is disconcerting unless maybe it was SUPPOSED to be a bidet? The other one WON’T flush no matter what you do which makes you feel guilty for walking way (except what ELSE are you supposed to DO?) and is disconcerting (to say the least) for the next occupant.
8. People who have loads of sick and vacation time saved up and yet still come to work deathly ill with whatever plague is currently making the rounds and pass their germs on to others who have NO vacation or sick time left on account of having to use it all for sick kids, lawyer meetings, divorce court, more lawyer meetings and actual vacation.
Disclaimer: Any mention of work, co-workers or employees is merely hypothetical and not meant to refer to any actually place of workage at which I may or may not work.
9. The snails who ate all my impatiens while I was on vacation.
10. Waterproof mascara that isn’t.
11. My current digital camera.
12. The way my windshield wipers seem to need replacing every other month.
13. The annoying way the windshield wipers sound because I don’t have the time, money or energy to deal with replacing them right now. Besides, didn’t anyone ever tell you “it never rains in Southern California…”? So, really, what’s the point of windshield wipers?
14. Men who tell you they are leaving you because the two of you have different values when what they really mean is that their values consist of lying, cheating and just generally being asshats and also that they found someone thinner (and stupider) who was willing to bang them.
Stuff I have a love-hate relationship with.
1. Donuts. You suck me in with your fried-in-fat-sugary-coated-goodness and then you make my pants too tight. Damn you!
2. Beads. You suck me in with your sparkling loveliness and then my electricity gets shut off because I spent all my money on beads. Um, not really, dad! Hi!
3. Trendy clothes. Because you’re SO CUTE. And also REALLY IN RIGHT NOW. But I can’t afford you and you’ll be out of style by the time I get you home from the store anyway.
4. Trendy shoes. See #3 above.
5. Bargains. Because I do so love a bargain. And yet, I’m a price snob (i.e. if the price seems “too good to be true” I immediately assume I’m being scammed and walk away and then later regret that I missed out on “that great bargain”) However, I’m working on this because I just bought some stuff from Payless Shoes (trendy shoes for $17.99! a bargain! if they don’t fall apart in a week!) in the hopes that it’s okay to indulge in “trendy” if it costs you less than $20.00. And also, who knew they had such cute shoes? Not me, apparently.
6. “All My Children” Hey, I love me some Tad Martin, but if I hear Kendall call her pregnancy pillow “this baby” one more time I’m going to puke. Also, Cameron Mathison (Ryan Lavery)? Should be seen (preferably sans shirt) and not heard. And Dixie? Girl, what is up with your HAIR?
7. Diet Coke. Because you’re calorie free but my mother says you are causing me brain damage with your aspartame.
8. Dr. Pepper. Because (shhhh!) you taste better than Diet Coke (which I thought was impossible) but you have CALORIES. If I drink you, I cannot have dessert. And since I am getting divorced – dessert is NOT optional. And Diet Dr. Pepper is SOOO not an option. It tastes like stinky feet.
9. Chocolate. See #1 Donuts above.
10. Divorce. Because I’m so much happier now that he’s gone…and I feel so guilty about that.
Which leads me to my list of “things I do now that I’m (almost) divorced that I didn’t do before.”
1. Work out.
2. Wear jeans and look damn good in them.
3. Wear high heels and look damn good in them. It’s amazing how much easier it is to walk on stilts when you’ve dropped 40 or so pounds. Love you, Anne Klein shoes-of-death!
4. Wear eye makeup. Okay, I wore it on occasion before the separation, but very, very rarely. And yet, I used to LOVE eye makeup (that whole 80’s thing, remember?) I just got to where I couldn’t be bothered with it any more. But, I hear blue eyeshadow is making a comeback! What’s next? Mousse with gold glitter in it (don’t ask…it was the 80’s).
5. ________________ (private)
6. ________________ (private)
7. Indulge in my hobbies and watch TV without feeling guilty.
8. Go to movies by myself on Friday nights. I’ve always done this on the weekends or on weekdays off from work (I kinda enjoy that whole “theater all to myself feeling”) but never thought I could do it on “date night.” Not only can I do it, but it’s nice to pick a movie I actually want to SEE (and that will not give me nightmares due to blood and guts and explosions). Plus, I don’t have to put up with the sighing and fidgeting from the dork who didn’t want to see said movie.
9. Notice hot guys. Wonder if they’re married or not, how old they are and whether they can sit through a chick flick without fidgeting.
10. Figure out technology stuff by myself.
11. Find that it’s actually easier to figure it out myself than to go through someone who thought he was an expert but who, I’m finding, actually didn’t know what the heck he was doing.
12. Stand up for myself.
13. Think about getting back into scuba diving. (note to self: get higher paying job so I can afford to dive in WARM water).
And that’s it for this week’s “Ode to Memes”
A meme away A meme away Weeeeeeooooweeeeooo A meme um um away
Near the village, the peaceful village
The lion sleeps tonight
Near the village, the quiet village
The lion sleeps tonight
A meme away A meme away Weeeeeooooweeeeooo A meme um um away
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling
The lion sleeps tonight
And, now that I've outed myself as the biggest dork of all time...
Take care, everyone!
KJ
Monday, April 24, 2006
The Flame Bracelet Lives...
...except I cannot take a decent picture of it to save my life. Sigh.
The good news is that I have learned how to use my digital camera AND how to take the flash card (formerly known as the “little card thingy”) out of it. And also, guess what? There’s a slot in the side of my photo printer (hey, I have a photo printer – who knew?) that the flash card fits into perfectly and then the computer automatically ASKS YOU if you want to download the pictures from the card onto the computer. So, I have pictures. And they made it to the computer from the camera. This is BIG news.
Yay, me.
In fact, here are a couple more butterfly pictures from my vacation:
According to the exhibit brochure, these are "Common Buckeye" butterflies. However, with their orange and purple spots, I think they're anything but common-looking. And these two were so polite to sit still and pose for me (unlike the giant swallowtail butterflies which were willing to sit on my hand until I whipped out the camera and then flew away and I never did get anything but a blur of them).
But, as usual, I digress.
The bad news is that, miraculously good butterfly pictures notwithstanding, this camera is a piece of crap that will NOT take a decent close-up picture no matter what I do. Obviously this calls for desperate measures. I must buy a new camera.
Yes, that’s right. I, the most technologically challenged person on the planet must venture out of the house (which is frightening in and of itself) and go to technology stores and chat up teenage geeks (why does this suddenly feel like high school again?) and try to somehow get myself a camera that will take close-up, detailed shots but that will not break the bank. Because my bank is SMALL, people. As in miniscule. Microscopic. I could even go as far as calling it nonexistent (see previous entries about new shoes and massive vacation shopping spree).
Why can’t Best Buy have a BOGO sale? Oh, right. Because it’s run by geeks instead of sorority girls.
Anyway, here are the best shots that came from my weekend-long bracelet photo shoot:
And yeah, I know, they’re blurry. Guess my longed-for invitation to be a guest photog on ANTM will not be forthcoming any time soon.
I’m going to go have a headache now. How was y’all’s weekend?
KJ
The good news is that I have learned how to use my digital camera AND how to take the flash card (formerly known as the “little card thingy”) out of it. And also, guess what? There’s a slot in the side of my photo printer (hey, I have a photo printer – who knew?) that the flash card fits into perfectly and then the computer automatically ASKS YOU if you want to download the pictures from the card onto the computer. So, I have pictures. And they made it to the computer from the camera. This is BIG news.
Yay, me.
In fact, here are a couple more butterfly pictures from my vacation:
According to the exhibit brochure, these are "Common Buckeye" butterflies. However, with their orange and purple spots, I think they're anything but common-looking. And these two were so polite to sit still and pose for me (unlike the giant swallowtail butterflies which were willing to sit on my hand until I whipped out the camera and then flew away and I never did get anything but a blur of them).
But, as usual, I digress.
The bad news is that, miraculously good butterfly pictures notwithstanding, this camera is a piece of crap that will NOT take a decent close-up picture no matter what I do. Obviously this calls for desperate measures. I must buy a new camera.
Yes, that’s right. I, the most technologically challenged person on the planet must venture out of the house (which is frightening in and of itself) and go to technology stores and chat up teenage geeks (why does this suddenly feel like high school again?) and try to somehow get myself a camera that will take close-up, detailed shots but that will not break the bank. Because my bank is SMALL, people. As in miniscule. Microscopic. I could even go as far as calling it nonexistent (see previous entries about new shoes and massive vacation shopping spree).
Why can’t Best Buy have a BOGO sale? Oh, right. Because it’s run by geeks instead of sorority girls.
Anyway, here are the best shots that came from my weekend-long bracelet photo shoot:
And yeah, I know, they’re blurry. Guess my longed-for invitation to be a guest photog on ANTM will not be forthcoming any time soon.
I’m going to go have a headache now. How was y’all’s weekend?
KJ
Friday, April 21, 2006
Bohemia, Butterflies and Books
Although not necessarily in that order.
But first, a little housekeeping. I’ve made some site updates including edits to the home page and moving some items that have sold (thanks, Linnea!) to the gallery. Sadly, no new items to post yet. Well, there are new things, but I just can’t seem to get the time to do the photography…GRRR! Hopefully, with some wonderful tips from my friend, Jenie, I might make some progress this weekend. But don’t hold your breath. Technology and I do NOT get along. Anyway, all the changes I’ve made can of course be seen at Silver Parrot Designs.
Also, there’s been a lot of interest in my bead embroidery work recently (shut up, there has, TOO!) so here’s a link directly to that page. And, just because I'm feeling all full of myself today, here's a picture of my favorite pair that I've made so far:
Okay, on to the books. I’ll do the clunkers first so I can end on a positive note.
Last month, I reviewed Laurie R. King’s
“The Beekeeper’s Apprentice” and I quite enjoyed her take on the famous Sherlock Holmes and his new protégé, Mary Russell. So, I decided to pick up
“O Jerusalem” - the next book in the series. Well, it was written and published as the fourth or so book, but chronologically, it takes place during an interlude in “Beekeeper.”
Sadly, it was nowhere as interesting or quick-paced as the first book. In fact, trudging through it is one of the reasons the book reviews have been scarce lately because it was blocking me from getting to the next book in my “to read” pile. However, I’m not sure this is due to inherent flaws in the novel. I think it’s more likely that I just found this particular subject matter to not be nearly as engaging.
The book takes place in the Holy Land not too long after the events of the movie “Lawrence of Arabia.” Which, by the way, if you’ve never seen it? One of the greatest movies of all time. Seriously. Netflix, people. How many times do I have to say it?
And if you HAVE seen it, you’ll understand me when I say “I am a river to my people.”
Because, dude, I so totally am.
Anywho…barring my love for that particular movie, I have no real interest in that area or period of history. And then there’s all the trudging back and forth in the desert and Wadi this and monastery that and it’s hot and dirty and there are BUGS and frankly I was just bored, bored, bored. Although I suppose that says something positive for the author’s descriptive abilities because I actually felt hot and dirty and tired and like I had bugs in my hair while I was reading the book.
Yet, those things? So not making me enjoy the reading experience. I want the book that makes me feel like I’ve just come out of the spa and I’m a size 4 and tan and wearing fabulous designer clothes and just generally looking smoking hot. Where’s THAT book, I ask you? Oh wait, that's why I like Mary Janice Davidson's "Vampire Queen" series LOL!
Still, I haven’t given up on the Russell series. The next book gets Holmes and Russell back in jolly old England where they belong and I have high hopes for it. It’s already in the reading pile!
Then, there’s the big pit of suckage that is “Dates from Hell.” This is a collection of four short stories by Kim Harrison, Lynsay Sands, Kelley Armstrong, and Lori Handeland. I was surpised at how bad these were because I love Kim Harrison and Kelley Armstrong’s other work and so I expected at least two out of the four stories to be worthwhile. I never heard of the other two writers so didn’t have as much in the way of expectations for them. Oh, and by the way, Ms. Sands? It’s spelled L-I-N-D-S-A-Y not Lynsay. And I should know. I’m a descendant of the Lindsay clan from Scotland. It’s true. I have the plaid to prove it so back off! And get your name changed. It’s embarrassing.
The first story from Kim Harrison gives the reader a background look at the character of Ivy Tamwood, the not-dead-yet vampire from Harrison’s “Dead Witch Walking” series. And frankly, I like Ivy a whole lot less now. She’s more twisted than I had realized. And the kind of stuff that makes her go weak in the knees? Kinda sick. Plus, I thought it was poorly plotted. There just wasn’t enough THERE to really make a story. It was just background on the character.
I’d tell you what I hated about Ms. Sands story (besides her stupid name) but honestly, I don’t remember it. And that about sums it up.
Kelley Armstrong introduces two new characters in her story, but uses the same background world as her “Women of the Otherworld” books. This story was probably the best of the four, but there was a lot of wandering from room to room in a museum (see annoyance above about wandering the desert and frankly, wandering in general) and a lot of the typical Romance-genre-required overdoing of the anatomical detail stuff which I’ve probably mentioned before I’m not so keen about.
Mystery, people! Romance! Great kissing! What happened to this stuff? If I wanted porn, I know where that section is at the video store. Not that I've ever been IN that section...it's just hard not to miss the cordoned off/secret roomness of it all and the furtive, guilty looks of the people (guys) who go in there.
Hey! When you've been standing in the video store line for an hour because the be-pimpled teenage geek at the counter has huffed away a few too many brain cells to be able to operate the cash register in a timely fashion you have to find SOMETHING to do. And I like to glare at the pervs heading for the porn section. I did actually make someone leave without getting a movie once. That was a highlight. But, eventually, the game got old. And then Netflix came into my life. LOVE you, Netflix.
Still, at least Armstrong's story had a beginning, middle and end and a resolution of the plot.
Lori Handeland’s story was just silly. I’ve never gotten the romance of falling into overwhelming passion with some dude you just met literally two seconds before. I mean, really. I get that you can notice someone is hot in that amount of time but to go from 0 to doing the nasty in an alley two seconds later (maybe three if complicated lingerie is involved)? I believe there’s usually money involved in that type of transaction. Oh, and the whole incubus thing? Not well done. If you want a better book on that subject, check out Katie McAlister’s “Aisling Grey, Guardian” novels.
So, on the whole? This book? Waste of a cute title.
And now to the positive.
As much as I am uninterested in the Holy Land at the turn of the century, I am IN LOVE with Europe during the Napoleonic era. I mean, look what you get. Jane Austen, empire waist dresses, great battles, "Horatio Hornblower" (Hi! LOVE you, Ioan Gruffudd...for YOU I would go from 0 to nasty in two!), passion, romance, men with swords, swashes being buckled, etc.
So, I was thrilled to learn that Naomi Novik’s debut novel, “His Majesty’s Dragon” takes place during that period and is a wonderful combination of “Horatio Hornblower” and Anne McCaffrey’s “Pern” novels. In fact, I can truthfully say I don’t think dragons have been so skillfully handled by an author other than McCaffrey until this book came out.
And, in a stunning move of marketing genius, the publisher has decided to try the “innovative” tactic of releasing three books in this series IN PAPERBACK and ONLY A MONTH APART! Yes, folks, this book came out at the end of March and book #2 is due on April 25th. That’s NEXT WEEK! The third book is due May 30th.
Genius, I say. How DO they come up with these things? By the way, everyone IS getting the sarcasm here, right? Okay, just checking.
Anyway, here’s my take on how this happened.
Fade in.
Interior of a conference room in some fancy-schmancy high-rise New York publishing building. It’s 2 AM. The table is covered with empty coffee cups, crushed soda cans, takeout containers and crumpled pieces of paper. Four desperate marketing executives sit in a circle on the floor with their jackets off, shirt sleeves rolled up and ties askew. The camera begins panning in a “That 70’s Show”, Eric Foreman’s basement, you know what this scene is supposed to be even though there’s no smoke and you don’t see anything being passed around kinda way.
ME1 (marketing exec #1): Dude, we are so hosed if this book doesn’t sell.
ME2: Dude.
ME3: You are so totally right, dude. And some idiot in acquisitions already bought two more books from this totally unknown, unproven writer.
ME4: Stop giggling. Does anyone else hear high-pitched giggling coming from the microwave in the break room?
ME1: Dude, you are so baked
ME4: Dude, I know. But what about the giggling?
ME3: I mean, how are we supposed to market THREE WHOLE BOOKS.
ME2: Tthhhhpfpffff inhaling noise. I know. It will take YEARS. And the universe is entropying, too. All that time. Entropy. Down the tubes. Dude.
ME4: Oh. My. God. Do you HEAR it? Gnomes. There are gnomes giggling in the microwave.
ME1: Dude, shut up. I’m having an idea. What if it didn’t take so long?
ME2: What if what didn’t take so long?
ME1: Between books.
ME3: You mean if they came out closer together?
ME4: Gnomes. Giggling. In the microwave. Shhh…don’t let them know we’re here.
ME1: Dude, you are so totally cut off right now. And stop hiding under the table. And yeah, what if the books came out closer together.
ME2: But…but…but…that’s never been done before. Think of the consequences.
ME3: Yeah. Dudes, I think the world might totally spin off its axis.
ME1: Actually, it has been done before. In the 70’s. My grandfather told me about it. Books used to come out in paperback and only three to six months apart. Dude, it was like totally awesome because people could actually REMEMBER what they’d read in the FIRST BOOK by the time the second book came out. Plus, with the whole paperback thing? People could actually afford to BUY all three books. Without a coupon.
ME2: Hey, yeah. Now that you mention it, I remember learning about that in my “Archaeology of Publishing” class at Over-priced Pretentious East Coast University.
ME4: Make it stop. Whimper. Hide me. Gnomes coming.
ME1, ME2, ME3: Dude, SHUT UP!
ME1: Yeah, it was great. Then this dude Robert Jordan came along and fucked everything up.
ME3: Yeah, fuck Robert Jordan.
ME2: Who’s Robert Jordan?
ME4: I know! He’s a gnome. He’s the gnome leader. And he’s giggling and he’s coming to get us all!
Brief interlude while ME1, ME2 and ME3 tackle ME4, wrestle him to the ground, tie him up with phone cord and stuff a gag in his mouth.
ME1: Okay, where were we? Oh yeah. Publish the books closer together. Whaddaya think?
ME2: Could work. And we market it as this genius new idea. No one will know. Hardly anyone else took that class I was in except a few football players who took it as a “mick” and most of them have brain damage from repeated concussions and probably never really learned to read anyway because of the whole football-trumps-grades thing.
ME3: Take THAT, Robert Jordan and your umpty-zillion novels of neverending spewage of crap!
ME1: Besides, the boss is in the Bahamas until at least July so by the time he finds out about it, it’ll be too late to stop it.
ME2: And if the idea does tank, we’ll just blame HIM!
All three turn and look at ME4 who’s slowly rocking in place with his eyes closed and mumbling something around the gag about the gnome king.
Fade out.
Dude. You SO know it’s true. And you should’ve seen the advance release notice I got on this book in my e-mail from the publisher wherein they actually CONGRATULATE themselves for having such a bold and innovative idea. Publish books closer together and in paperback. Whew! Took a think tank to come up with that one, I tell ya! What’s next? Can the cure for the common cold be far behind?
Well, anyway. That’s it for the books this week.
In other news…
Vacation rocked. Sun. Swimming. Shopping. New shoes. Zoo. Kid’s Museum. More shoes. Food. Frou frou drinks. Baby Ducks. Butterflies. Picture taking. Boat rides. Yadda yadda yadda.
Did I mention the shoes? I may have to take some pictures now that I know how to download things from my camera to the computer like a real adult techno-savvy person. Because the Anne Klein sandals? To. Die. For.
Seriously. I will probably break my neck in the damn things, but I will die a happy woman. With hot shoes.
And just to prove that I can SO download pictures all by myself (uh, thank you camera schmo at Sav-On for helping the crazy and dumb blonde lady) here’s a butterfly picture from the butterfly exhibit at the Living Desert Zoo (which, by the way, if you EVER have a chance to see it, you MUST check it out. It was amazing!) According to the brochure, these are “Julias.” I don’t know why, but that’s what it says in the little booklet. So, um, anyway, here’s the picture:
Because butterflies? SO pretty.
KJ
But first, a little housekeeping. I’ve made some site updates including edits to the home page and moving some items that have sold (thanks, Linnea!) to the gallery. Sadly, no new items to post yet. Well, there are new things, but I just can’t seem to get the time to do the photography…GRRR! Hopefully, with some wonderful tips from my friend, Jenie, I might make some progress this weekend. But don’t hold your breath. Technology and I do NOT get along. Anyway, all the changes I’ve made can of course be seen at Silver Parrot Designs.
Also, there’s been a lot of interest in my bead embroidery work recently (shut up, there has, TOO!) so here’s a link directly to that page. And, just because I'm feeling all full of myself today, here's a picture of my favorite pair that I've made so far:
Okay, on to the books. I’ll do the clunkers first so I can end on a positive note.
Last month, I reviewed Laurie R. King’s
“The Beekeeper’s Apprentice” and I quite enjoyed her take on the famous Sherlock Holmes and his new protégé, Mary Russell. So, I decided to pick up
“O Jerusalem” - the next book in the series. Well, it was written and published as the fourth or so book, but chronologically, it takes place during an interlude in “Beekeeper.”
Sadly, it was nowhere as interesting or quick-paced as the first book. In fact, trudging through it is one of the reasons the book reviews have been scarce lately because it was blocking me from getting to the next book in my “to read” pile. However, I’m not sure this is due to inherent flaws in the novel. I think it’s more likely that I just found this particular subject matter to not be nearly as engaging.
The book takes place in the Holy Land not too long after the events of the movie “Lawrence of Arabia.” Which, by the way, if you’ve never seen it? One of the greatest movies of all time. Seriously. Netflix, people. How many times do I have to say it?
And if you HAVE seen it, you’ll understand me when I say “I am a river to my people.”
Because, dude, I so totally am.
Anywho…barring my love for that particular movie, I have no real interest in that area or period of history. And then there’s all the trudging back and forth in the desert and Wadi this and monastery that and it’s hot and dirty and there are BUGS and frankly I was just bored, bored, bored. Although I suppose that says something positive for the author’s descriptive abilities because I actually felt hot and dirty and tired and like I had bugs in my hair while I was reading the book.
Yet, those things? So not making me enjoy the reading experience. I want the book that makes me feel like I’ve just come out of the spa and I’m a size 4 and tan and wearing fabulous designer clothes and just generally looking smoking hot. Where’s THAT book, I ask you? Oh wait, that's why I like Mary Janice Davidson's "Vampire Queen" series LOL!
Still, I haven’t given up on the Russell series. The next book gets Holmes and Russell back in jolly old England where they belong and I have high hopes for it. It’s already in the reading pile!
Then, there’s the big pit of suckage that is “Dates from Hell.” This is a collection of four short stories by Kim Harrison, Lynsay Sands, Kelley Armstrong, and Lori Handeland. I was surpised at how bad these were because I love Kim Harrison and Kelley Armstrong’s other work and so I expected at least two out of the four stories to be worthwhile. I never heard of the other two writers so didn’t have as much in the way of expectations for them. Oh, and by the way, Ms. Sands? It’s spelled L-I-N-D-S-A-Y not Lynsay. And I should know. I’m a descendant of the Lindsay clan from Scotland. It’s true. I have the plaid to prove it so back off! And get your name changed. It’s embarrassing.
The first story from Kim Harrison gives the reader a background look at the character of Ivy Tamwood, the not-dead-yet vampire from Harrison’s “Dead Witch Walking” series. And frankly, I like Ivy a whole lot less now. She’s more twisted than I had realized. And the kind of stuff that makes her go weak in the knees? Kinda sick. Plus, I thought it was poorly plotted. There just wasn’t enough THERE to really make a story. It was just background on the character.
I’d tell you what I hated about Ms. Sands story (besides her stupid name) but honestly, I don’t remember it. And that about sums it up.
Kelley Armstrong introduces two new characters in her story, but uses the same background world as her “Women of the Otherworld” books. This story was probably the best of the four, but there was a lot of wandering from room to room in a museum (see annoyance above about wandering the desert and frankly, wandering in general) and a lot of the typical Romance-genre-required overdoing of the anatomical detail stuff which I’ve probably mentioned before I’m not so keen about.
Mystery, people! Romance! Great kissing! What happened to this stuff? If I wanted porn, I know where that section is at the video store. Not that I've ever been IN that section...it's just hard not to miss the cordoned off/secret roomness of it all and the furtive, guilty looks of the people (guys) who go in there.
Hey! When you've been standing in the video store line for an hour because the be-pimpled teenage geek at the counter has huffed away a few too many brain cells to be able to operate the cash register in a timely fashion you have to find SOMETHING to do. And I like to glare at the pervs heading for the porn section. I did actually make someone leave without getting a movie once. That was a highlight. But, eventually, the game got old. And then Netflix came into my life. LOVE you, Netflix.
Still, at least Armstrong's story had a beginning, middle and end and a resolution of the plot.
Lori Handeland’s story was just silly. I’ve never gotten the romance of falling into overwhelming passion with some dude you just met literally two seconds before. I mean, really. I get that you can notice someone is hot in that amount of time but to go from 0 to doing the nasty in an alley two seconds later (maybe three if complicated lingerie is involved)? I believe there’s usually money involved in that type of transaction. Oh, and the whole incubus thing? Not well done. If you want a better book on that subject, check out Katie McAlister’s “Aisling Grey, Guardian” novels.
So, on the whole? This book? Waste of a cute title.
And now to the positive.
As much as I am uninterested in the Holy Land at the turn of the century, I am IN LOVE with Europe during the Napoleonic era. I mean, look what you get. Jane Austen, empire waist dresses, great battles, "Horatio Hornblower" (Hi! LOVE you, Ioan Gruffudd...for YOU I would go from 0 to nasty in two!), passion, romance, men with swords, swashes being buckled, etc.
So, I was thrilled to learn that Naomi Novik’s debut novel, “His Majesty’s Dragon” takes place during that period and is a wonderful combination of “Horatio Hornblower” and Anne McCaffrey’s “Pern” novels. In fact, I can truthfully say I don’t think dragons have been so skillfully handled by an author other than McCaffrey until this book came out.
And, in a stunning move of marketing genius, the publisher has decided to try the “innovative” tactic of releasing three books in this series IN PAPERBACK and ONLY A MONTH APART! Yes, folks, this book came out at the end of March and book #2 is due on April 25th. That’s NEXT WEEK! The third book is due May 30th.
Genius, I say. How DO they come up with these things? By the way, everyone IS getting the sarcasm here, right? Okay, just checking.
Anyway, here’s my take on how this happened.
Fade in.
Interior of a conference room in some fancy-schmancy high-rise New York publishing building. It’s 2 AM. The table is covered with empty coffee cups, crushed soda cans, takeout containers and crumpled pieces of paper. Four desperate marketing executives sit in a circle on the floor with their jackets off, shirt sleeves rolled up and ties askew. The camera begins panning in a “That 70’s Show”, Eric Foreman’s basement, you know what this scene is supposed to be even though there’s no smoke and you don’t see anything being passed around kinda way.
ME1 (marketing exec #1): Dude, we are so hosed if this book doesn’t sell.
ME2: Dude.
ME3: You are so totally right, dude. And some idiot in acquisitions already bought two more books from this totally unknown, unproven writer.
ME4: Stop giggling. Does anyone else hear high-pitched giggling coming from the microwave in the break room?
ME1: Dude, you are so baked
ME4: Dude, I know. But what about the giggling?
ME3: I mean, how are we supposed to market THREE WHOLE BOOKS.
ME2: Tthhhhpfpffff inhaling noise. I know. It will take YEARS. And the universe is entropying, too. All that time. Entropy. Down the tubes. Dude.
ME4: Oh. My. God. Do you HEAR it? Gnomes. There are gnomes giggling in the microwave.
ME1: Dude, shut up. I’m having an idea. What if it didn’t take so long?
ME2: What if what didn’t take so long?
ME1: Between books.
ME3: You mean if they came out closer together?
ME4: Gnomes. Giggling. In the microwave. Shhh…don’t let them know we’re here.
ME1: Dude, you are so totally cut off right now. And stop hiding under the table. And yeah, what if the books came out closer together.
ME2: But…but…but…that’s never been done before. Think of the consequences.
ME3: Yeah. Dudes, I think the world might totally spin off its axis.
ME1: Actually, it has been done before. In the 70’s. My grandfather told me about it. Books used to come out in paperback and only three to six months apart. Dude, it was like totally awesome because people could actually REMEMBER what they’d read in the FIRST BOOK by the time the second book came out. Plus, with the whole paperback thing? People could actually afford to BUY all three books. Without a coupon.
ME2: Hey, yeah. Now that you mention it, I remember learning about that in my “Archaeology of Publishing” class at Over-priced Pretentious East Coast University.
ME4: Make it stop. Whimper. Hide me. Gnomes coming.
ME1, ME2, ME3: Dude, SHUT UP!
ME1: Yeah, it was great. Then this dude Robert Jordan came along and fucked everything up.
ME3: Yeah, fuck Robert Jordan.
ME2: Who’s Robert Jordan?
ME4: I know! He’s a gnome. He’s the gnome leader. And he’s giggling and he’s coming to get us all!
Brief interlude while ME1, ME2 and ME3 tackle ME4, wrestle him to the ground, tie him up with phone cord and stuff a gag in his mouth.
ME1: Okay, where were we? Oh yeah. Publish the books closer together. Whaddaya think?
ME2: Could work. And we market it as this genius new idea. No one will know. Hardly anyone else took that class I was in except a few football players who took it as a “mick” and most of them have brain damage from repeated concussions and probably never really learned to read anyway because of the whole football-trumps-grades thing.
ME3: Take THAT, Robert Jordan and your umpty-zillion novels of neverending spewage of crap!
ME1: Besides, the boss is in the Bahamas until at least July so by the time he finds out about it, it’ll be too late to stop it.
ME2: And if the idea does tank, we’ll just blame HIM!
All three turn and look at ME4 who’s slowly rocking in place with his eyes closed and mumbling something around the gag about the gnome king.
Fade out.
Dude. You SO know it’s true. And you should’ve seen the advance release notice I got on this book in my e-mail from the publisher wherein they actually CONGRATULATE themselves for having such a bold and innovative idea. Publish books closer together and in paperback. Whew! Took a think tank to come up with that one, I tell ya! What’s next? Can the cure for the common cold be far behind?
Well, anyway. That’s it for the books this week.
In other news…
Vacation rocked. Sun. Swimming. Shopping. New shoes. Zoo. Kid’s Museum. More shoes. Food. Frou frou drinks. Baby Ducks. Butterflies. Picture taking. Boat rides. Yadda yadda yadda.
Did I mention the shoes? I may have to take some pictures now that I know how to download things from my camera to the computer like a real adult techno-savvy person. Because the Anne Klein sandals? To. Die. For.
Seriously. I will probably break my neck in the damn things, but I will die a happy woman. With hot shoes.
And just to prove that I can SO download pictures all by myself (uh, thank you camera schmo at Sav-On for helping the crazy and dumb blonde lady) here’s a butterfly picture from the butterfly exhibit at the Living Desert Zoo (which, by the way, if you EVER have a chance to see it, you MUST check it out. It was amazing!) According to the brochure, these are “Julias.” I don’t know why, but that’s what it says in the little booklet. So, um, anyway, here’s the picture:
Because butterflies? SO pretty.
KJ
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Watch Your Language, Young Lady!
Hey, folks! Back from vacation and I promise a full blog entry AND book review coming tomorrow, but in the meantime, have fun with this li’l tidbit:
Although, I dispute the accuracy of one of their questions regarding “what do you call an easy class?” Because they left out the most obvious term. An easy class is, of course, a “mick.” As in “mickey.” As in “Mickey Mouse.” Because it’s so easy it’s like going to Disneyland.
For an example of said “mick class” see “Japanese Tea Drinking Ceremony” at UCLA. Yep, you spend an entire quarter just learning the ceremony and then perform it for your final exam. And for this, your parents spend a massive amount of money and you get three official elective credits that can be applied towards your base requirements.
Or at least that’s how it was back in the dark ages (i.e. the 80’s) when I went to school there. And no, I never took the class myself, but I know plenty of people *cough* football players *cough cough* Kappas *cough cough cough* who did. It was VERY popular for Spring Quarter (the traditional “I’m taking all ‘mick classes' so I can spend most of my time at the beach or partying quarter). Because really, Winter Quarter with all the temperatures below 80 degrees and maybe some rain and stuff? That’s when you take the 16 units of REAL classes. Spring is for 8-12 units of M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Oh shut up…you know you did it, too.
And as long as I’m posting fun tidbits, let me introduce you to my new favorite addiction: Crazy Aunt Purl.
Not only does she crack me up, but she’s as crazy about knitting as I am about beads AND she’s also going through the same life circumstances as I am and yet manages to write a much funnier, more interesting blog about them. In fact, this entry says exactly what *I* would say about *my* impending divorce if I had any talent as a writer instead of just being a schmo who posts boring meanderings about her life on the internet.
And yeah, it’s true, he was just a guy I met one day.
KJ
Your Linguistic Profile: |
75% General American English |
10% Upper Midwestern |
10% Yankee |
5% Dixie |
0% Midwestern |
Although, I dispute the accuracy of one of their questions regarding “what do you call an easy class?” Because they left out the most obvious term. An easy class is, of course, a “mick.” As in “mickey.” As in “Mickey Mouse.” Because it’s so easy it’s like going to Disneyland.
For an example of said “mick class” see “Japanese Tea Drinking Ceremony” at UCLA. Yep, you spend an entire quarter just learning the ceremony and then perform it for your final exam. And for this, your parents spend a massive amount of money and you get three official elective credits that can be applied towards your base requirements.
Or at least that’s how it was back in the dark ages (i.e. the 80’s) when I went to school there. And no, I never took the class myself, but I know plenty of people *cough* football players *cough cough* Kappas *cough cough cough* who did. It was VERY popular for Spring Quarter (the traditional “I’m taking all ‘mick classes' so I can spend most of my time at the beach or partying quarter). Because really, Winter Quarter with all the temperatures below 80 degrees and maybe some rain and stuff? That’s when you take the 16 units of REAL classes. Spring is for 8-12 units of M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Oh shut up…you know you did it, too.
And as long as I’m posting fun tidbits, let me introduce you to my new favorite addiction: Crazy Aunt Purl.
Not only does she crack me up, but she’s as crazy about knitting as I am about beads AND she’s also going through the same life circumstances as I am and yet manages to write a much funnier, more interesting blog about them. In fact, this entry says exactly what *I* would say about *my* impending divorce if I had any talent as a writer instead of just being a schmo who posts boring meanderings about her life on the internet.
And yeah, it’s true, he was just a guy I met one day.
KJ
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Silver Parrot does a book review (finally) and takes a much needed vacation!
Okay, okay, I’ll stop sulking about UCLA losing to Florida in the NCAA championship game. But, still, you know, 2nd place…not too shabby. And hey, we beat LSU in the Final Four so, for the “person” who left the pro-LSU comment on an earlier post – how d’you like us now, eh?
Now, on to more important matters. Like the fact that I’m going on vacation. That’s right, I said it, vay-cay-SHUN, baby! And I’m going to get tan and drink frou-frou drinks to my heart’s content. Because the last few months have been hell on a stick and I deserve a break! So, before I go, and because I’ve been sadly lacking in this area for the last couple of weeks, here’s a teeny tiny book review to keep you busy until I get back.
Some time ago, I read the first book, “Mystic and Rider,” of Sharon Shinn’s new “Gillengaria” series. It was great. REALLY great. Had all the things I like in a book: interesting characters, good love story (without the overly-intimate anatomical details that I so detest), rich and varied world-crafting including mystery, political intrigue, religious persecution, etc. And I’m happy to say that the second book in the series, "The Thirteenth House,” lives up to the expectations set by the first book.
This second installment in the series focuses more closely on Kirra Danalustrous, a character from the first novel. Other characters make appearances but do not play as much of a primary role as they did in book one (i.e. Tayse and Senneth). We learn a little bit more about the mysterious princess, Amalie and her even more mysterious stepmother, Valri (although still not enough, dammit!). Love triangles, assassination attempts and an impending civil war all combine to provide action galore.
If I had a tiny complaint (and, as a card-carrying perfectionist, you know I always have to have at least ONE complaint), it’s that the ending of this book isn’t as satisfying as I would’ve liked. While it can definitely stand on its own, it’s quite clearly meant to be a bridge between the first book and whatever comes next. I would have liked to see a few more of the hinted-at “mysteries” of book one resolved here. There would have been PLENTY of material left over for the next book, believe me.
Also, I found the identity of the villain to be a bit obvious and yet, that could’ve still been effective if there had been a bit more resolution to that particular storyline. There was never a big confrontation scene between Kirra and the villain and I felt a bit let down by that. Again, maybe it’s being saved for the next book, but that seems an awfully long way away to have to wait for it. It should’ve been in THIS book, IMO.
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Okay, evilness took over my brain there for a minute so...if anyone read that last bit that I just thought better of and edited out...um, sorry. And if you didn't read it, well, then this conversation never took place.
VAY-CAY-SHUN! VAY-CAY-SHUN! VAY-CAY-SHUN!
KJ - please pass the suntan lotion and could someone refresh my Cosmo, please?
Now, on to more important matters. Like the fact that I’m going on vacation. That’s right, I said it, vay-cay-SHUN, baby! And I’m going to get tan and drink frou-frou drinks to my heart’s content. Because the last few months have been hell on a stick and I deserve a break! So, before I go, and because I’ve been sadly lacking in this area for the last couple of weeks, here’s a teeny tiny book review to keep you busy until I get back.
Some time ago, I read the first book, “Mystic and Rider,” of Sharon Shinn’s new “Gillengaria” series. It was great. REALLY great. Had all the things I like in a book: interesting characters, good love story (without the overly-intimate anatomical details that I so detest), rich and varied world-crafting including mystery, political intrigue, religious persecution, etc. And I’m happy to say that the second book in the series, "The Thirteenth House,” lives up to the expectations set by the first book.
This second installment in the series focuses more closely on Kirra Danalustrous, a character from the first novel. Other characters make appearances but do not play as much of a primary role as they did in book one (i.e. Tayse and Senneth). We learn a little bit more about the mysterious princess, Amalie and her even more mysterious stepmother, Valri (although still not enough, dammit!). Love triangles, assassination attempts and an impending civil war all combine to provide action galore.
If I had a tiny complaint (and, as a card-carrying perfectionist, you know I always have to have at least ONE complaint), it’s that the ending of this book isn’t as satisfying as I would’ve liked. While it can definitely stand on its own, it’s quite clearly meant to be a bridge between the first book and whatever comes next. I would have liked to see a few more of the hinted-at “mysteries” of book one resolved here. There would have been PLENTY of material left over for the next book, believe me.
Also, I found the identity of the villain to be a bit obvious and yet, that could’ve still been effective if there had been a bit more resolution to that particular storyline. There was never a big confrontation scene between Kirra and the villain and I felt a bit let down by that. Again, maybe it’s being saved for the next book, but that seems an awfully long way away to have to wait for it. It should’ve been in THIS book, IMO.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, evilness took over my brain there for a minute so...if anyone read that last bit that I just thought better of and edited out...um, sorry. And if you didn't read it, well, then this conversation never took place.
VAY-CAY-SHUN! VAY-CAY-SHUN! VAY-CAY-SHUN!
KJ - please pass the suntan lotion and could someone refresh my Cosmo, please?
Friday, March 31, 2006
Slacker's Blues
Okay, so there hasn't been much in the way of posts this week and there's not gonna be a book review today.
This doesn't happen too often to me, but I've seriously had the week from hell so no time to read OR write.
I'm in the middle of THREE books right now and haven't made much progress on any of them this week. And behind them is a nice pile of new stuff sitting on my bedside table just waiting for me to have some down time. (insert picture of me laughing uproariously)
But the three I'm currently reading should make some good review fodder if I can ever get them FINISHED.
So, be patient with me and have a good weekend everyone!
KJ
P.S. To the person who dare, DARED! to write a pro-LSU comment on my last blog entry, I offer the following:
"Sons of Westwood"
and
"Mighty Bruins"
GO BRUINS!!! BEAT LSU!!!
Oh, and also...bite me! ;-)
This doesn't happen too often to me, but I've seriously had the week from hell so no time to read OR write.
I'm in the middle of THREE books right now and haven't made much progress on any of them this week. And behind them is a nice pile of new stuff sitting on my bedside table just waiting for me to have some down time. (insert picture of me laughing uproariously)
But the three I'm currently reading should make some good review fodder if I can ever get them FINISHED.
So, be patient with me and have a good weekend everyone!
KJ
P.S. To the person who dare, DARED! to write a pro-LSU comment on my last blog entry, I offer the following:
"Sons of Westwood"
and
"Mighty Bruins"
GO BRUINS!!! BEAT LSU!!!
Oh, and also...bite me! ;-)
Monday, March 27, 2006
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