Thursday, September 07, 2006

Bathroom Whisperers

There’s this weird phenomenon that I’ve noticed and I can’t decide if it’s just happening to me or if everyone knows about it and just doesn’t say anything? I’m talking about “bathroom whisperers.” Have you ever been in a restroom and heard the person in the next stall whispering to herself? Because it happens to me a lot. There were two of them at my last job – and they did it every time they came in the restroom. I’ve encountered them out in public (well, public restrooms) as well. And now there’s one here at my new job.

What is up with this? It’s not people talking softly on a cell phone. Although I’ve heard that happen, too, and it’s just wrong. There are some places where you should be “temporarily unavailable.” Call the person back for heaven’s sake – that’s what voice mail is for!). But bathroom whisperers are different. They’re just talking to themselves in a whisper the entire time they’re in the bathroom from the moment they enter until they come out of the stall. They only stop when they realize someone else is there. And yet, I can never understand what they’re saying. What’s so important that you have to tell yourself about it in the restroom? And repeat it over and over in a whisper?

It’s weird…and kinda creepy, too. I want to understand what causes it (because I’m all scientific and stuff like that, yo) but mostly I just want it to stop because it’s weirding me out, dude.

Just me?

Bueller?

{sound of crickets chirping}

Okay then.

KJ

P.S. The marine layer is back with a vengeance so that means the good hair phenomenon is history. Not to be seen again for 3-10 years (I noticed that seemed to be about the normal span between previous occurrences).

5 comments:

Kaos Siberians said...

I think the whisperers are people who can't manage the "courtesy flush." Ya know?

And, I have one bit of advice for the "I'm so important I must talk on the cell phone in the bathroom" people - don't do it around me...my motto is "flush early, flush often" if someone's on the phone. That and make disgusting noises, really really loud ones.

Silver Parrot said...

ROFL! I'll have to remember that next time a cell phone enters the restricted zone. As for the whisperers - it's more like they're trying to remember something by repeating it over and over to themselves in a whisper. It's weird.

Luz said...

Or they're stressed out. I know I used to wander along the street muttering things I'd like to say to my boss or my colleagues but I knew would rock the boat too much if I did. Sometimes it was sooooo frustrating that just thinking what I'd like to say didn't work - it had to come out in real words. Hence crazy lady talking to herself at bus stop. Perhaps yours do the same in the loo.

Jenie said...

Um...*raises hand*...I am one of the whisperers. SOMETIMES. Sometimes there's just so much stuff up there that you're trying to sort it all out, and that necessitates talking aloud to yourself, and then you go into the restroom, and you're still trying to sort it all out, and you don't realize there's anyone else in there, so you continue to talk to yourself, and then when you do realize there's someone else in there, it's really embarrassing.

So um...yeah.

Jenie said...

but i rush to add that I do flush.