D-Day

So this is it. D-day. Also known as “the day I sign the final divorce papers.” Good-bye, Kelly Osborne. Welcome back, Kelly Morgan (and don’t even get me started on what a pain in the ass it’s going to be to change my SSN, driver’s license, checking accounts, business cards and umpty-zillion other things back to my maiden name…and yet, still worth it to sever that last tie!)

I find myself strangely calm about it this morning. Okay, so last night I was bawling my eyes out at the gas station while filling up the tank on my car – thus causing the poor lady in the car across from me to give me the “are you okay” look and hand signal and to report about me to the person she was jabbering with on her cell phone. I don’t mourn th loss of him (good riddance to bad rubbish!) but I do mourn the breaking of the vows that I took so seriously and the destruction of something that was supposed to last a lifetime.

And yeah, okay, so last night my dreams were kind of on the nightmare side – something about worms with pincer jaws stuck to my skin and no matter how many of them I knocked off, more kept appearing til I realized they were coming from UNDER my skin. Sometimes it’s just a party to be me I tell ya! On the other hand, I save myself a FORTUNE in illegal hallucinogen costs because hey, I can have a bad trip any time I want courtesy of my own twisted imagination. Lovely.

But this morning, I’m calm. Or numb? Anyway, the most burning question in my head when I woke up (having finally gotten back to sleep after the fun of the worm dream) was “what does one wear to the dissolution of one’s marriage?” Sweats and a scrunchie for the “poor, pathetic me” look? Stripper heels and a party hat for that “ding dong the asshat is dead” vibe?

Decisions, decisions.

Initially, I was going to wear my new red sweater and go for that “Nancy Reagan I’m powerful and don’t mess with me” impression, but then I realized that I might end up having bad associations with whatever I wear today and I didn’t want to waste my new red sweater that way. I figured better to go with something that I love so much (and look so good in) that it will always overpower any potential bad memories. So, I chose my black pencil skirt, black and tan cheetah print sweater and knee-high black stiletto boots. The ensemble projects my chosen message of “beautiful but deadly” quite nicely.

Oh, and for that touch of power red? Let’s just say it’s present, but hidden. Thanks, Victoria’s Secret.

So, bring it on. Today is the last day of an old life. Tomorrow, I start a new one and I intend to do it with strength, grace, style…and sexy underwear.

KJ

Site Update!

Whew! I finally got time to sit down and update the website so the newest pieces pictured in the last post are up for sale. Be sure to visit Silver Parrot Designs and do some Christmas shopping!

Now, I'm off to create more stuff. It is AWESOME having some time to make jewelry again!

KJ

P.S. I didn't get my pecan pie, darn it! We went to the buffet at the Marriott Dana Point Resort and while it was fabulous in all other ways (the roasted pumpkin bisque soup was to DIE for...and I don't even like pumpkin!) they didn't have pecan pie! Barbarians. That's all I can say. Absolute and total barbarians!

Who ate the last piece of pecan pie?

It's Thanksgiving and I just had to say that diet or no diet, I am eating pecan pie on Thursday so I recommend standing back. Don't get between me and my pie, people!

And now, this...

Look, actual jewelry on a jewelry blog. Who woulda thunk it? I’m sure everyone is sick of my male-bashing, emotional catharsis, lame song lyrics and obsession with fashion and make-up. So, instead, I bring you seasonally inappropriate jewelry such as my new “Butterfly Garden” bracelet.



I don’t know why I’m working in spring colors in November, but sometimes you just gotta go where the spirit moves you. I got out my entire lampwork collection on Saturday and decided to peruse it for inspiration. That took a lot longer than I had originally planned. I should maybe cut back on the bead-buying for a while.

Yeah. Right.

Anyway, this sweet little set in white, lavender, blue and green just jumped out at me. I THINK they were made by Alisha White, but I could be wrong. Normally, I put a little tag with the artist’s name in with the beads when I store them, but the tag for this set has gone missing so I’ll have to use my best guess. The accent beads are white and lavender freshwater pearls, amethyst Swarovski bicone crystals, spring green Swarvoski cube crystals, ice blue Czech fire-polished rondelles, moonstone rounds, faceted blue lace agate rondelles and Bali silver. The clasp is a sterling silver butterfly toggle that I bought at the L.A. Gift show last year.

I still haven’t managed to make it outside with the digital camera to photograph the lavender embroidered bracelet, but here are a couple of pictures of my latest embroidery bracelet project:



And a close-up:



For this piece, I decided to try incorporating other beads besides just seed beads. I’ve used some royal blue freshwater pearls, Czech fire-polished rondelles, and Japanese Miyuki drops and bugle beads.

Lastly, I made a couple of pairs of earrings with sterling silver filigree tops:





One pair uses Swarovski crystals and Japanese Miyuki drop beads (which are clear and thus hard to see in the picture). The other pair has faceted blueberry “quartz” briolettes along with some seed bead and crystal drops. I’m not crazy about this design and may re-do it. I think the seed beads are just too casual for the rest of the earring. Perhaps I’ll replace them with some loops of chain or maybe some crystals.

That’s pretty much it for now. I’m hoping to get some more work done on projects over Thanksgiving weekend. Kidlet will be with the X so I’ll have a lot of free time other than dinner on Thanksgiving with my folks at the Dana Point Cliffs Resort. I’ve always heard about their Thanksgiving buffet so I’m looking forward to trying it. Architect Guy is apparently “gone with the wind” so it’s back to the drawing board on the whole dating thing.

Sigh.

Men suck.

But, you know, Happy Thanksgiving and all!

KJ

Red Shoe Diaries

Today is a red shoe day. There’s nothing like a great pair of red shoes to make a gal feel like she can go out and conquer the world and perform any ass-kickings that may need to be administered along the way. Don’t believe me? Just ask Dorothy. Of course, I can’t rock the sequins the way she did, but I like to think that my “kicking” shoes of choice (see pic below) have a sleek, modern feel. Because that’s how I roll, yo.

And now for the list of “kickees”:

1. The bozos who on two separate occasions this week revealed their total lack of elevator etiquette by failing to let me and the other passengers OFF the elevator before barging right on and essentially mowing me down in the process. I swear the elevator door opened and some guy was about an eyelash length away from me…TWICE! Raised by wolves, much?

2. The brain trust who decided that rush hour in the rain on a Monday morning would be a good time to turn off the main traffic light that controls the intersection to my office building’s parking lot. Smooth move, ex-lax.

3. The person who invented the words “Storm Watch.” Yeah, right. Drizzle Watch 2006 is more like it. Thanks awfully, though. Because, you know, ooooo…the drama!

4. The quite bizarre saleswoman at Macy’s who felt the need to issue elaborate commentary on each and every one of my purchases…which, considering I was in the lingerie department at the time was disconcerting to say the least. I already KNOW the underwear is cute, thanks. That’s why I’m buying it. Except I had the weird feeling that if she thought what I was buy was ugly, she would’ve commented on that, too, in the same upbeat, chipper, overly-friendly, robotic Stepford Wife-ish voice. Just shut up and bag the damn stuff. If I’d wanted your input, I would’ve asked. I’ve experienced this phenomenon before in relation to food purchases at the grocery store and it’s annoying there, too. But it never had the “creep” and “ick” factor that this gal provided with her running underwear diatribe. Not to mention her brain seemed to not be able to handle simultaneous activities such as talking and ringing up sales so the whole process took, like, a decade or something.

And now, for some red-shoe-ass-kicking music, I bring you the immortal words of Kelly Clarkson (or whoever writes her songs):

Since U Been Gone

Here's the thing we started out friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since U Been Gone

You’re dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since U Been Gone

And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since U Been Gone

How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah
Since U Been Gone

How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way

But Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get (I get) what I want
Since U Been Gone

You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since U Been Gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so moving on
Yeah, yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get, I get what I want
Since U Been Gone
Since U Been Gone
Since U Been Gone

So, just a warning to everyone out there…my red shoes and I are in the house. You better straighten up and fly right!

KJ

P.S. Architect Guy (who I’ll be calling AG for short now) paid me the nicest compliment about my lips. This is extra cool because I’ve never liked my lips. In order to avoid drawing attention to them, I never wear anything on them other than lip balm (Bonne Belle Lipsmackers in Strawberry or Vanilla since 7th grade if you must know). Until very recently, that is. I made a conscious decision earlier this year to just embrace myself – real and imagined flaws and all – and went nuts buying lip gloss and wear it all the time now. I guess it paid off. If he says something nice about my nose, next, I may be in love LOL!

Word!

So, the Britster finally kicked K-Fed’s lazy, disgusting, white trash, manpri-clad ass to the curb. I don’t think anyone is remotely surprised (except maybe K-Fed) as it was more a question of “when” than “if.”

What I do want to know and am dying to find out (help me, “People” magazine!) is what is it exactly that finally pushed her over the edge? What made her wake up and smell the chili cheese fries? I can ask that as someone who should’ve pushed the auto-destruct button on her own “K-Fed” years ago. Was it the cheating? The partying? The poor hygiene…oh wait, that was her. Never mind. Maybe it was the the irresponsibility, stupidity and lack of any discernable skills or talent? Did he light up in front of the kids once too often? She finally couldn’t stomach the manpri and wifebeater couture any more? What? You KNOW you want to know, too!

Here’s my theory. She started to lose some of the baby weight, saw herself in the mirror and realized “oh YEAH! I used to be hot. I could have any guy I want. Wait a second…I could have any guy I want and I picked THIS EFFIN’ LOSER?!” Then it took her about a nanosecond to speed dial her lawyer.

My second choice is the manpris...because, DUDE! Manpris?

And now that rat bastard has filed for sole custody? I don’t THEENK so. Not in California. To get sole custody you pretty much have to prove the other party is an axe-carrying serial killer and even then they might get supervised visitation. It’s obviously a pressure ploy to extort money out of her and get around the prenup. Lame. And while I don’t really think much of her, he seems like a far worse choice as a parent. I mean, he’s already got kids from a previous relationship that he ignores.

Why am I spending so much time on this silly stuff you ask? Because my life is so danged exciting, that’s why! Although, I did get an e-mail yesterday from architect guy which was nice. I sent him a reply and cranked up the flirt factor a few notches so we’ll see what happens.

Oh wait, I do have one exciting thing to report. I am ONE POUND away from my initial weight loss goal, people! That’s right…ONE POUND! Of course, I hope to keep on and lose more weight (another 20 lbs.) after that, but even if I’m just able to stabilize right here and keep off the 64 (soon to be 65!) lbs. that I’ve lost thus far it will be a HUGE victory.

So, I was going to skip the gym tonight, but now I’m pretty motivated to go. It’s hard not to when I can practically TASTE victory!

Onward and upward

So, confession is good for the soul, right? Thanks for letting me vent the other day. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Let’s talk jewelry. The embroidered lavender bracelet is DONE! I should be able to get pictures this weekend (and Sparkle you better shut up about my photo-challengedness right now!) There are also two new pairs of earrings that I finished a couple of weeks ago, but haven’t had a chance to get scanned. Hope to do that this weekend, too, although I may be re-making one pair first as I’m not 100% satisfied with the design. I’m about halfway done with my next embroidered cuff bracelet design, too, and I think it’s going to be the best of the bunch so far. I learn a lot with each of these that I do and my technique gets better (or I like to think it does anyway). I’ll try to get that scanned and uploaded as well. I’m also thinking it’s about time for a “clean out the inventory” sale on the website.

Let’s see, what else? I had date #3 with architect guy on Saturday night. We had a great time seeing comedian Richard Jeni at the Irvine Spectrum Improv and then had a late dinner in the bar at the Cheesecake Factory (where I successfully avoided the cheesecake for once…miracle of miracles!) If you ever get a chance to see Jeni, I highly recommend him. He was absolutely hilarious (and not over-the-top dirty so okay for a date).

I wore my black jeans, black boots, a black camisole (sensing a theme here?) and a midnight blue velvet jacket. The accessories were new silver hoop earrings (made by me, of course!) and a silver clutch purse. There were some other "unseen" accessories courtesy of a trip to Victoria's Secret earlier in the week, but that's enough on that subject.

I tried something new with my makeup – my version of a “smoky eye” which is to say that I attempted the traditional smoky eye but without making myself look like a raccoon that hasn’t slept for 3 days. Instead of using black or dark grey shadow, I used a navy blue shadow that started at the lash line and then progressively got lighter as I blended it over my lid and up to the crease. I put a peachy/pink highlighter color with just the teensiest bit of sparkle in it on my brow bone for a and also smudged the navy blue halfway under my lower lashes as liner. I finished it all off with lots of black mascara, subtle blush and a light berry-colored lip gloss. Normally I’d go with a darker lip for night, but with the dramatic eyes, I didn’t want to over do it.

I think it came out pretty well for an experiment. Got lots of nice compliments from the guy and when I got home later that night (MUCH later) everything was still more or less in place and hadn’t melted down my face. Which is very important because while it’s easy to make sure one does not start out the night as a raccoon, it’s much more difficult to ensure that one does not morph into a raccoon over the course of an evening.

By the way, turns out architect guy is one heck of a kisser. I could be in serious trouble here LOL! He's blowing my whole "create a harem of lots of guys to date casually" plan.

On top of that, can I just say how nice it is to be with a guy who actually HAS a successful career, makes money at that career and knows how to budget it such that he can take a lady on a nice date. I guess I'm just old-fashioned enough to enjoy that when I (sincerely) offer to kick in for part of the tab or go Dutch, I get the (equally sincere) "thanks, but I've got it" response. What can I say? Fiscal responsibility turns me on LOL!

I’m not a gold digger or anything, but it’s been 14 years since I went out with someone who could AFFORD to take me out without me or my parents having to pick up all or part of the tab. Of course, that’s partially my fault because I stupidly made the decision to “settle” for that behavior a long time ago and I’m only recently coming to realize how much I resented the hell out of it. Y'know, at some point you've got to grow up, take your responsibilities as a man seriously and provide for your family and quit wasting everyone's time and energy pursuing things that are never going to yield any practical result. In other words, sack up, grow a pair, BE A MAN!

It becomes more apparent every minute that the person I was with was so completely unworthy of me in every way imaginable and that I only went that route because I was unaware of my OWN worth. I certainly know I’ll never “settle” ever again.

In case my point isn’t clear, I thought I’d re-state things in the immortal words of Beyonce (or whoever she had write this song for her):

“Irreplaceable”

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

mmmmmmm

To the left to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, that’s my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)

And keep on talking that mess, that’s fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And- its my name that’s on that bag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you

You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
Yyou must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter a fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you

You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter a fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? Nothing at all to you
Baby, I won't shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you was so easy

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

Mmmmmmmm

To the left to the left
Everything you own in the box to left

To the left to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter a fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You’re irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter a fact, he'll be here in a minute

You can pack all your things- we're finished
‘Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

Just thought I’d share in case anyone else out there needs an empowering anthem to, uh, kick the trash to the curb (so to speak) ;-) Oh, Natasha Bedingfield's “Unwritten” is a good personal anthem as well.

Have a great week everyone and I’ll try to have a book review later this week.

KJ