Monday, November 13, 2006


So, the Britster finally kicked K-Fed’s lazy, disgusting, white trash, manpri-clad ass to the curb. I don’t think anyone is remotely surprised (except maybe K-Fed) as it was more a question of “when” than “if.”

What I do want to know and am dying to find out (help me, “People” magazine!) is what is it exactly that finally pushed her over the edge? What made her wake up and smell the chili cheese fries? I can ask that as someone who should’ve pushed the auto-destruct button on her own “K-Fed” years ago. Was it the cheating? The partying? The poor hygiene…oh wait, that was her. Never mind. Maybe it was the the irresponsibility, stupidity and lack of any discernable skills or talent? Did he light up in front of the kids once too often? She finally couldn’t stomach the manpri and wifebeater couture any more? What? You KNOW you want to know, too!

Here’s my theory. She started to lose some of the baby weight, saw herself in the mirror and realized “oh YEAH! I used to be hot. I could have any guy I want. Wait a second…I could have any guy I want and I picked THIS EFFIN’ LOSER?!” Then it took her about a nanosecond to speed dial her lawyer.

My second choice is the manpris...because, DUDE! Manpris?

And now that rat bastard has filed for sole custody? I don’t THEENK so. Not in California. To get sole custody you pretty much have to prove the other party is an axe-carrying serial killer and even then they might get supervised visitation. It’s obviously a pressure ploy to extort money out of her and get around the prenup. Lame. And while I don’t really think much of her, he seems like a far worse choice as a parent. I mean, he’s already got kids from a previous relationship that he ignores.

Why am I spending so much time on this silly stuff you ask? Because my life is so danged exciting, that’s why! Although, I did get an e-mail yesterday from architect guy which was nice. I sent him a reply and cranked up the flirt factor a few notches so we’ll see what happens.

Oh wait, I do have one exciting thing to report. I am ONE POUND away from my initial weight loss goal, people! That’s right…ONE POUND! Of course, I hope to keep on and lose more weight (another 20 lbs.) after that, but even if I’m just able to stabilize right here and keep off the 64 (soon to be 65!) lbs. that I’ve lost thus far it will be a HUGE victory.

So, I was going to skip the gym tonight, but now I’m pretty motivated to go. It’s hard not to when I can practically TASTE victory!


Kaos Siberians said...

Yes, I am wondering why the fascination with the white trash breakup of the year. I was more stunned by Reese Witherspoon's could see the Brit-Kfed train wreck coming a mile away.

Way to go on the weight loss too! I'm so freakin' proud of you and trying to figure out what'll motivate me...I haven't found that yet. So I'll just bask in your success.

Silver Parrot said...

Yeah, the Ryan-Reese thing is sad.

As for motivation, I can tell you that it tends to be highly motivating when the person you have vowed in front of God to "love, honor and cherish until death do you part" tells you that he's leaving you because you're fat and he's embarrassed to be seen in public with you and then he replaces you with a white-trash, OLDER version of yourself and proceeds to shove her at you at every possible opportunity.

Homicidal rage can be a powerful tool. However, I don't necessarily recommend that particular motivation as one's first choice.

If, on the other hand, you happen to have some already lying around, well, work with what ya got, I always say.

B said...

65 pounds!?! Totally awesome! Congratulations on an awesome awesome achievement!

Kaos Siberians said...

Well, we never thought he was the sharpest crayon in the box, did we?

I don't think I have any homicidal rage laying around....I'll have to come up with a Plan B. Maybe I can convince myself I'm allergic to fat?

Jenie said...

65 POUNDS??? Holy moly, am I going to be able to see you the next time I see you? Way congratulations on that one, sister-friend. Wow.

I have my suspicions on that whole Brittney-KFed thing, and frankly, seein' as she's dumb as a box of friggin' rocks (as witnessed by the fact she married the skanked out loser to begin with), I'd say he was probably a major jerk to her when he didn't get enough money out of her, finally said the wrong thing one day, and the woman just snapped and got back with the program. Because you know he only married her for the gravy train, so I'm sure he was a hateful *ick soon enough. He probably pushed her around often enough that she finally got wise and decided she loved her freedom more than she loved his bs.

And speaking of losing a fat *ss, I dropped a whopping 11 pounds in Paris. Hopefully, I can keep it off and lose another 21-26. :) I'd love to weigh 115 again, but if I can hit 120, I think I'll ride.


Silver Parrot said...

Trust me - you'll be able to see me LOL! Remember, I was kinda large-ish to begin with.

Yay for you for the 11 pounds! Another reason for me to hate you for your trip to Paris. I lost 10 lbs. when I lived there which put me at 115. THAT'S not gonna be a number I'll ever see again. But if I can get to 140 and a size 8, I'll be a happy, happy girl.

2 lbs. down. 18 to go.