Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Why (bead) diets fail...

I am on a bead diet and it’s making me grumpy!

What’s a bead diet, you ask? It’s like where you swear you’re going to lose 10 lbs. or die trying so you quit eating all the stuff you like such as cookies, cake, ice cream, pizza, anything fried, white bread, sugar, etc. Except that in the case of beads, it means no buying beads for a week.

And why on earth would anyone want to torture herself that way? Same answer…you wanna lose 10 lbs. before you go on a cruise or a vacation, right? Well, I need to save up my $$$ for the Pasadena Bead Show this weekend which means NO BEAD SPENDING this week.

Then, Saturday at the show I will gorge myself sick (like you do on the cruise where you gain back the 10 lbs. you lost plus another 5 from all the rich food) on beads, beads and more beads…wahahahaaaaa….

Wait, what was I talking about (sorry, got lightheaded from lack of bead spending there for a minute).

Oh, right.

But I can look right? Just like I can go LOOK at the donuts in the lunch room while I’m dieting, but just not eat any. I can go look at beads on Etsy and put things in my favorites and buy them LATER. AFTER THE SHOW.

Oh, and that sale announcement I got from Fusion Beads about the ICE resin kit being on sale? I can LOOK at that and delete it and buy next week.

Except…it won’t be on sale any more.

But that’s okay, it’s not marked down by THAT much.

Except, what if the sale is such a big hit that they run out of stock and don’t have any left when I can buy?

I better at least go ahead and buy that now…cuz, y’know, SALE and everything. Oh, and I better buy some molds while I’m there. I could wait on those, but it’s silly to pay shipping this week and then again next week on a separate purchase. There. $25. That’s not too much – plenty left for the bead show.

But that’s it. I am absolutely, positively NOT buying anything else until Saturday at the show.

*****5 minutes later*****

Okay, this whole not buying beads things totally sucks! If it were only pay day THIS week, then I wouldn’t have to do this. Oh, and if the kid hadn’t needed new pants and shoes and the garage door hadn’t needed to be fixed. And the cleaning guy and gardener both needed to be paid and who the HECK are all these people and don’t they realize they’re sucking up my BEAD money?

GRRR!

I know, I’ll distract myself with a bead mag. And I can make a list of all the new supplier sites that I want to visit NEXT week.

*****30 minutes later*****

Wow, got an awesome list of new vendors to check out that I haven’t been to before. This will be cool.

I wish it was Saturday NOW. This week is just taking WAY too long.

Y’know, I could just go look at the new vendors that are on Etsy and put ‘em in my favorites. That way, they’ll be all ready to go for when I’m able to shop again.

Organization.

Productivity.

But definitely NO BUYING.

Go, me!

*****30 seconds later*****

(you already know where this is going, don’t you?)

LOOK at THAT! I have NOTHING like that. And it’s only $2.00. I NEEEEED it! And really, how much difference can $2.00 make in my bead money for Saturday? Except that I need jump rings and headpins to match. Okay, still under $10. That’s okay…oh wait, ear wires, too. Silly to get headpins and jumprings and no earwires and oh, wait, CHAIN. Need that. Okay, $14.00. Still not bad.

*****20 minutes later*****

I’m looking at my shopping cart and scratching my head. I just know if I put a couple things back I can get back down to $14 and that won’t be too bad. Except not THAT…because I need it. And not THAT either because it goes with the first thing. And that is just WAY TOO COOL to pass up and…oh crap, $30 is not that bad. I’ll just go ahead and then I’ll just be super-dooper picky at the show on Saturday about what I buy.

*****The Next Day*****

I hang my head in shame as I realize that I fell off the bead diet wagon.

In a big way.

Again.

But hey, I never could resist a donut, either (just look at the size of my ass if you don’t believe me).

At least beads aren’t fattening and don’t clog up your arteries.

Two more days until the show.

Sigh.

KJ

P.S. Notice no pics in this entry...hey, if I have to suffer the bead diet then I'm dragging everyone else along with me. Told you it was making me grumpy!

14 comments:

TesoriTrovati said...

you are way too funny!
don't worry, you aren't alone...we can start a 12 step program (but why?)
I am supposed to be on the same diet by Vintaj is calling my name (and I think they have my credit card on file!)
Enjoy the day!
Erin

SueBeads said...

We're ALL the same!!!!!

The Joy of Nesting said...

But i know i don't have a problem because I can quit any time!! :)

Pattie ;)
Mazatlan Mx.

Katie said...

Yes, we are...A little fairy posted about some cool beads on someone's blog yesterday (cough...SueBeads...cough...), and I ended up buying some...Like I don't already have enough beads to last me till the end of time (and then some...)...I have to go on a SERIOUS bead diet - I need to make a dent in some of the beads I already have before I run out and get more...Must...Find...Willpower :o)

Kristen said...

My husband wishes that I was on that diet! I had to FIGHT with myself yesterday not to purchase something BECAUSE it was on sale. Of course I NEEDED it, and it was disconted to boot so naturally I gave in... It's awful, but at least I know I'm not alone in this boat!!

Mellisa - Chinook Jewelry said...

Ha! Well, now I kind of feel like an enabler by choosing you as the pendant winner! I was thinking about going to the Pasadena show but feel like I just have too much to get done this weekend. Definitely update me on how it is!!

Silver Parrot said...

Erin - Just put down the Vintaj and back slowly away. LOL...just kidding. I've had to ban myself from that site for a while. I get into too much trouble.

Silver Parrot said...

Pattie...Riiiiiiggghhhhht. Yep. Sure. No, really, I believe you. Really.

dochoamom said...

KJ you are hilarious... what time are you going to the show? I will be there !! would love to meet you. Have you been to Farrin O'Connor Design Studio?? its here in Pasadena over by Huntington Hosp... they have great stuff too and great classes.. email me if you want to meet up.

Deb
deborah@pearsonconstruction.net

Silver Parrot said...

Katie - Willpower is no match for beads. Particularly BEADS ON SALE (the three most magical words in the English language). You're makin' me think, though, that we should all agree to make ONE project using BEADS WE ALREADY HAVE! NO NEW STUFF!

Yeah, right.

Silver Parrot said...

Kristen - you can't fight it. Better to just give in and get it over with LOL! Man, I feel like a heroin pusher.

Silver Parrot said...

Mellisa - no, free stuff doesn't count. You can enable me with free stuff ALL DAY LONG! Oh, and come to Pasadena! I'd love to say "hi" to a bloggie friend!

Katie said...

That would be a cool contest - everyone has to make something with ONLY the items they already have in their stash...Based on this crowd, there would probably be some wonderful work...

To me, beading ends up working out an awful lot like cross stitch - whenever you work on a project, you never seem to have the EXACT thing that would make it just right...You can get really close...But close just isn't the same sometimes :o)

Erin said...

This is too funny! :) You are a riot! I LOVE this post! It's the complete and utter true! That's what makes it amusing. We can all relate. This is great! HaHa!