Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Closet Skeletons

I’ve been debating about whether I should tell this story or not. Parts of it are funny, which makes it somewhat blog-worthy, but parts of it are kinda sad, too, and I don’t wish to bum anyone out. I’m going to do the best I can to present the funny part without getting into the negative stuff too much.

But first, a little background (this is the not-so-funny part).

If you’ve been reading the blog since the beginning or have gone back to check the archives, you’ll know that I was once married. To a guy who was mostly decent – with a few notable exceptions. We lived a pretty boring, normal, suburban life. Had college degrees and good jobs. Went to church and basically were productive members of society.

After 12 years, he decided to go a different direction with his life and we got a divorce.

Since then, he’s made some really poor decisions and chosen to hang out with some crazy people and do some crazy stuff. The consequences of those choices have led to him having several encounters with law enforcement and getting arrested.

Sadly, one of those arrests took place in front of our son. So, while I would have preferred to keep him ignorant of stuff he was too young to understand, once that happened, I really had no choice but to try to explain, on a kid-friendly level, what was happening.

Of course, all this stuff has meant that my ex has not been able to see our son for most of this year. He is trying to re-build his life and make some better decisions and I have hopes that this situation will turn itself around, but for the moment, that’s where things stand.

I’ve tried to explain to the kidlet that Daddy is in “time out” until he fixes some things in his life, but I’ve also had to define words like “jail” and “judge.”

Okay, that’s one part of the background.

The other part is that about a month ago, my next door neighbors decided to move to a new house and rent out their current one. So I have brand new neighbors. Once they moved in, I kept looking for a good moment to introduce myself, but we kept missing each other (i.e. they weren’t home or I was just leaving, etc.)

And now we get to the funny part.

The other night, I went out to attend a school function and my mother stayed at the house with my son to babysit and give him dinner. I guess after dinner, they decided to go out for a walk and they met the new neighbors in the process.

I got home to find my mom on the sidewalk in front of the house talking to the woman from next door. I finally got to introduce myself and learned that her husband is a pastor and they are starting a new church in the local area. My son was inside playing video games with her kids.

After chatting for a few moments, I collected him and took him home because it was a school night and we still had to do shower and bedtime routine.

I got him off to bed and helped my mom pack up her stuff and load it into the car and just as she was leaving, she turned to me and said, “I need to tell you something.”

I thought, “Okay, this sounds ominous.”

She said, “After I introduced myself and the grandkid to the new neighbor lady, the kid said ‘Hi, I’m ________. My dad is in jail. Can I go play with your video games?’”

I’m not exactly sure what happened next because I may have blacked out for a few minutes from sheer horror.

One thing’s for sure – I am now afraid to show my face outside.

Oh, and I don’t think we’re going to be invited over to dinner any time soon LOL!

And if you’re wondering how I can laugh at this situation…well, it’s either that or end up in a padded cell. And the kid needs at least one normal, stable and law-abiding parent so I don't really have the luxury of "losing it."

Fortunately, I’m so boringly normal and clean that I practically squeak. Seriously – I’m the kid who got left in charge of the class when the teacher had to leave the room. My idea of risk-taking is using base metals with expensive lampwork beads in the same jewelry design.

Yep, I live on the edge.

Okay, enough of the wild and crazy life. How about some jewelry?

This design started with some great Czech glass rondelles in a color called "Strawberry Jam" which I wire-wrapped together using some Vintaj bronze 22 guage wire.

I added some patina'd brass chain, some blueberry Swarovski pearls, Czech glass flowers, some cool brass beads from Michael's and this pretty rose charm.

Ignore my lame-o attempt at a hook clasp. I never wire-wrapped my own clasp before and thought I'd give it a try. Yeah, 22 gauge? NOT strong enough for a clasp. And SHAME on all of you who just said "DUH!" But, it was enough to hold it together so I could take a picture. I have some ACTUAL hook clasps on order and will use one of those when they arrive.

Another close-up look.

I'm still on the fence about the rose charm, actually. I like it and I did intend for it to be a focal point, but I'm wondering if it sticks out TOO much?

For this bracelet, I started with these really cool double-drilled beach stones from Stone Studios Too.

I started linking them together with patina'd brass jump rings and then adding some great Czech glass squares I got at the Pasadena bead show. With the addition of the bird's nest charms, I started picturing birds nesting on a cliff overlooking the stones on the beach below.

I added some stone dangles and some Swaro crystals for sparkle. The clasp is a patina'd brass lobster clasp from Patina Queen.

The only thing I think it's still missing is a brass bird charm, but I don't have any in my stash (how is THAT possible?) Guess I'll have to order one.

I also finished my Rings 'N Things blog partner piece last night, but didn't have time to photograph it so stay tuned to see it tomorrow.



Lorelei said...

NICE! hahahaha!
I think that is a pretty funny story. But you should try to make the best of it and make a joke to the neighbor next time you see her outside. Like : "so, I hear you met my son! He's such a jokester that kid!" lol

nice bracelets. question, have you had any problems using those little teensy brass lobster clasps like the one in the last bracelet you show? I can never get them to close after they open.

TesoriTrovati said...

Your kid says the funniest things, doesn't he? But it shows that he is paying attention....sometimes more than we would like.
Now your new neighbors will be wondering at the mystery of that statement, so matter of factly put!
I like the bracelets, but I more a fan of less is more (do you believe that? Or am I just pulling your leg?) I like those brass beads in the first..and would go with that. I think the rose is too overpowering, and I would think it might be a nice focal for a coordinating necklace! I have been looking at those strawberry beads...and if you think they are great, then I should get them! Thanks for sharing both your ups and downs Kelly! Enjoy the day! Erin

lunedreams said...

These are FABULOUS! Little different direction for you? You're WAY good at this genre!! And I think the rose charm is PERFECT--it really makes the piece something ultra special. Your idea was right on there. Love your color combinations. That patinaed lobster clasp is wonderful (looks like a padlock). Make some more!!

mairedodd said...

jewelry first, i really do like the pieces a lot... the colors are really great... and i know what you mean about the rose... it is great with or without it - you just have to pick which look you like better... personal life - you are doing a great job... you are the mom who is kind to gigantic spiders! in some respects, we have a lot in common... and it is not easy... i think that you are handling things with your child the right way... once certain things happen things have to be realistically discussed at the appropriate level... i am glad you could laugh at your son's comment... really, you have empowered him... you have presented the situation to him in such a way that he has a factual grasp of the cause and effect, adult consequences... you have given him the ability to see it objectively... and that is no small feat... and when you feel insecure, don't... you aren't the one who has done something wrong, you are the one who is doing right by your child... and, honestly, even though i have never met you face to face, i am sure you are an awesome person... just keep being yourself... you have nothing to be ashamed of...

Mellisa - Chinook Jewelry said...

Such a lovely Victorian feel to those new pieces!

I think that your son stated things so matter of factly is a great testament to how you've presented the situation to him. He isn't ashamed or embarrassed if someone knows (even if YOU would prefer he doesn't air the laundry with the neighbors!) he just accepts it as reality. Isn't that the best thing you could hope for him? You're obviously doing a great job.

Now the question is...what do you do about the neighbors? Of course I think laughter is the best approach and my sense of humor is a little...off...sometimes so I would probably fabricate an elaborate ponzi scheme story involving a swiss bank account and your discovery of incriminating papers under a loose floorboard :)

dochoamom said...

Love the bracelets KJ... the rose looks good with it or you could use it for pendant. I love the beach stones and how you used them... I am loving the brass stuff you are doing.. its great!!!

Did I ever tell you about the time that I was going into the grocery store with my son (he was about 4)and this big tatooed and pierced muscle guy (obviously from the nearby gym) was just walking in also... Michael pipes up LOUDLY with "Mom, why is he wearing earrings on his boobs?" (word courtesy of dad)... I thought I was gonna die from trying not to laugh and scared at the same time with the look on the guys face... but he thought about it and then laughed and said something to Michael... I don't remember what.

How is your pain now?