Monday, October 05, 2009

You knew it was too good to be true...

The kid had an amazingly good week last week. Nothing got destroyed and no giant trash piles of food wrappers were discovered. He kept his light green (i.e. stayed out of trouble) at school, did his homework, picked up his toys and even told me I looked pretty.

He did so well that he earned a trip to Target to buy a small toy.


Today at work, I got a call from the school office. The kid had been sent to the nurse because he was complaining of a stomach ache.

That's not the problem.

The problem came when he proudly informed the school nurse that "My Mommy has the swine flu."

This apparently caused a panic of major proportions at the school and I'm sure a team of haz-mat-suited CDC employees was poised to hunt me down and quarantine me until the nurse called me and I explained that no, I do not, in fact, have the swine flu. In fact, I am not even sick.

Yes, I know my son's cheeks are reddish - he's having an eczema outbreak there right now. I took his temperature twice over the weekend just to be sure and he was fine. I'm fine. We're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?

So, when you see on CNN tonight that there's been a massive swine flu outbreak in So know who to blame for it.

That's right - it's my mother's fault.

Because she has been lecturing the kid repeatedly about washing his hands more frequently so he won't get the swine flu.

I signed up for this whole parental thing on purpose. Really, I did. I just never imagined it would lead to mass panic and school closures.


P.S. If you think this little announcement was bad, wait until I post the story of what he said last night when we met our brand new next door neighbors for the first time ever. Yeah, they'll never speak to me again.


Kristen said...

Oh my gosh!! You poor thing! Kids say the funniest things! Too bad it's so embarassing to us as parents! Hang in there! Waiting to hear the neighbor story! :)

The Joy of Nesting said...

From one mum of boys to another I really can feel your pain Kelly!! Just be thankful that it wasn't the CDC giving you a call!! :) :)

Pattie ;)
Mazatlan Mx.

Marie Cramp said...

OMG!!! He is in league with my boys this one!! I can notbelieve he did that! I would have hit the roof. Kids!

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. {waiting to hear what else he did}

Lorelei said...

I can't wait to hear. I can laugh- I don't have kids yet. I'm learning what I need to know from you and your blog. I know in my heart I'll probably end up having twins some day, and they'll probably be a lot like your kid. ;)

TesoriTrovati said...

Thanks for that bit of levity Kelly! Kids say the darnedest things...and they really are paying attention! That sounds like something my own son would have said...I hope you can go and enjoy your day! Erin

dochoamom said...

Oh dear, where do we send the flowers for your speeedy recovery... lol aren't kids grand!!!

Love, Deb