Thursday, May 13, 2010

Run For Your Lives!

I just found out that the company that makes my shampoo and conditioner - which are the only ones I've used for the last 10 years because everything else makes my hair limp and lifeless and oily on top with dried out frizzy ends - was a victim of the economy. They have gone out of business and taken their magical hair elixirs with them.

On top of that, the company that makes the anti-acne astringent I use on my face has decided to eliminate that product from their offerings.

So, I'm sure news of Chupacabra (Google it if you don't know what it is) sightings and films of terrified children will be on the rise in So Cal very soon. Unless I decide to become a hermit rather than inflict my monstrous visage on the poor unsuspecting townsfolk.

The overly made-up (and overly perfumed - seriously, is it necessary to BATHE in the stuff?), surgically enhanced bimbette at Planet Beauty offered me a so-called "replacement product" which...oh gee...only costs $32.00 a bottle.

Listen, bitch, do you KNOW how many beads I could buy for $32.00? Besides which, I know for damn sure whatever sludge is in that bottle ain't gonna work on my hair.

Because NOTHING works on my hair.

Look at pictures of me for my entire life up until I discovered the magical hair elixirs. Ages 0-32 were all just one loooooong-ass bad hair day.

So, then she offered me the $17.00 "replacement product." I love how there's a second, cheaper option that you only get offered if you threaten to have a full-on meltdown in the middle of Planet Beauty.

I have two weeks to try it and take it back for credit if it doesn't work.

I tried it.

Guess what?

My hair looks like I poured a vat of olive oil over the top and then used a blowtorch on the ends.

And don't even get me started on what my face looks like today.

I'm tellin' ya...Chupacabraness is NOT that far away.

Let's look at jewelry instead - maybe the shiny will distract me from my own hideousness.

I know it seems weird that I collect seemingly random types of beads, but eventually, they reach critical mass in my brain and come together in a design idea.

This one started with this cute little "Coco Connector" polymer clay link in navy and white from Floridity on Etsy. As soon as I saw it I knew there was going to have to be some kind of red, white and blue nautical design with some sea creatures and stuff, but I put it away until the other elements I needed showed up to play with it.

Patina Queen offered up these cool white patinated sea creatures like a starfish and this seahorse.

The starfish had this great gold color peeking through so I grabbed this hammered gold chain from my stash and then I found these sodalite rondelles on Gemme Tresor. That white bead and link section is actually vintage chain that I bought from BrassGoldBeads on Etsy. I got a whole yard of it to play with. The same vendor offered up vintage glass and brass metal charms (see the white one dangling just above the seahorses's head?) in lots of different colors.

A couple of red Czech glass rondelles, some gold wire and headpins and a gold lobster clasp and voila! My "Naughty Nautical" necklace was born.

And no, I don't know what it did to earn the "naughty" appellation - my brain just likes alliteration I guess.

The more I think about it, I think my mom might have had a necklace with lots of gold chains and white, red and blue enameled gold "nautical" type charms - like a ship's wheel, etc. Back in the 70's. I am soooo au courant.

I did a major resin pour last night and so far, the results are encouraging. I still lost a few pieces to "grease" spots (even after changing to a different sealer and sealing front and back THREE TIMES) but not nearly as many. And the wood pieces I'm doing came out SUH-WEET.

They'll be available at Be Resinable starting tomorrow (assuming I get the pics done tonight).

Happy Thursday and I'll see y'all tomorrow for this week's Bead Porn!



TesoriTrovati said...

I just placed my first Be Resinable order. Make more!

I stopped using shampoo a few years ago. My hair is sooooo much better for it. Ever see those Wen infomercials? Yeah. That is what I thought too. But if you stick with it the stuff works. I buy it by the gallon jug. It is expensive, but not more so than the myriad of products I used to use. Now I only use this. No shampoo, conditioner, detangler, or styling products. Just Wen. And I only have to use it like 2-3 times a week, so it works out in the end. Takes getting use to, but well worth it.

Enjoy the day!

Beatnheart said...


EmandaJ said...

Hang in there Kelly, surely something wonderful will show up for your beauty needs. Love the naughty-cal necklace!


Barbara Bechtel said...

I can't offer any hair advice since I was gifted some good hair. But I can relate on the skin products. As soon as I find something that is good, it is like a red flashing light goes off in their factory and it is magically discontinued.

Love that piece! I love how it looks with the patina queen sea creatures!

Jen V. said...

I accidentally paid $23 for some "root-booster" the other day at the salon. I just said "throw in a bottle of what you used." Nice. Bitch, do you know how many beads I could by for $23? haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa But at least the stuff works. :) And it smells good.

Priestess~Harper said...

Have you tried Lush products? Environmentally friendly too, which all cosmetics ought to be . . .