Friday, September 11, 2009

Brain Drain and Bead Porn

I’m starting off today’s entry with some random minutia from the recesses of my brain. Bead porn comes later. Because I’m just that cruel.

Also, every time I talk about bead porn, I feel like I should be starting out by writing “Dear Bead & Button," I never thought this would happen to me, but…”

Oh wait, wrong kind of magazine ;-)

Okay, back to the random thoughts.

Have you all seen those leetle, tiny vehicles called “Smart Cars?” I’ve become kind of obsessed with them. Not only do I expect to see legions of clowns getting out of them (because, come ON, they SOOOO look like toy circus cars) but my son and I both call out “LEETLE TEEEEEEENY CAR!” in high pitched baby voices every time we see one.

I don’t know why…we’re just weird that way.

Also, and this is really bad, every time I see one I can’t help thinking about what happens to them when they get in accidents. I’m sorry, but there’s just no way that Smart Car vs. SUV or, God forbid, 18-wheeler, ends in a W for the Smart Car.

And since I live in an area where driving – even something as simple as a lane change – is an extreme sport, I can’t help but think who are the people who are willing to drive around in soda pop cans and go up against vehicles 3x their size or more?

(Insert apology here to anyone who drives one and/or was offended by that)

Also from the minutia category (and thanks, Deb, for reminding me that I’ve been thinking about writing posts on this topic for a long time now), what is UP with those verification “words” on the comments?

Do they ever seem like they COULD be real words if you just thought about them long enough?

Am I the only one who tries to come up with wacky definitions for them?

Like today’s words:

JOGYROPE: I think this is like jump rope only you’re jogging instead.

HODIZOL: This is some kind of medication for Ho’s. Either it makes you more or less Ho-ish, I haven’t decided yet. But don’t get me started on the side effects…NASTY!

What was the most interesting one you’ve come across and what do you think it meant?

Okay, that’s enough leakage from my brainpipes…on to the beady stuff!





Mom wanted a necklace that was white and/or plain enough to be worn with “everything.” My inner sorority girl piped up with “pearls go with EVERYTHING!”




Now, usually, she’s a ditzy blonde who can be easily distracted by 6-pack abs and peach wine coolers and she occasionally takes too much Hodizol, but in this case, she was right.




Then I found this awesome pendant with a fleur-de-lys on it – which happens to be my Mom’s sorority emblem so it was perfect.




It’s not all that exciting or artistic to look at, but it IS the perfect go-with-everything necklace.




It’s even got a bit of that “Brighton” style to it which means it won’t fight with Mom’s favorite earrings.




Here's my attempt to get more "artistic with the photog business.



And, one more closeup attempt on the pendant.

Of course, she tried on it on last night and we discovered it was too long – I keep forgetting that my Mom is SO THIN. A 16” necklace on her hangs down where a 18-20” would on a normal person. So, I’m probably going to have to re-do it to shorten it, but it’s not the end of the world.

It was ALMOST the end of the world when I realized that the bag with the necklace and the extra pearls left over from it were missing out of my purse at Souplantation last night. Which I suppose is what I get for having Mom try on a necklace during dinner, but that’s how crazy our schedules are – it was that or nothing.

After frantically searching the booth and the floor and the table and dumping my purse out twice and not finding it, I was about ready to have a hysterical fit in the middle of Souplantation. Mom knew I was gearing up to blow so she decided to ask the busboy(man) if he’d seen it when he cleared the table.

He said, “Not on the table, but I saw it on the floor so I THREW IT AWAY.”

AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!

WHO DOES THAT WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF IT BELONGS TO ANYONE???

HELLLOOOOOO????

Anyway, he went and retrieved it from the trash. Thank goodness it was a plastic bag because it was covered in stuff I don’t even want to guess about. I had to wash everything off – but at least I can tell you that Swarovski pearls and sterling silver wash off well and seem none the worse for wear afterwards.

Mom made me tip the guy for finding it. I suppose he deserved something for digging through the trash to retrieve it, but then again, he was the one who threw it away in the first place soooo…maybe after all of that I just wasn’t in the right mood to appreciate his trash-digging sacrifice?

Or else I’m just a bitch. I don’t know.

I do know I cried like a dork in the car on the way home just from the let down of the stress. What a loser.

Okay, okay, on to the bead porn:




I'm always a sucker for polka dots and these clear etched beads with black dots just looked so fun.






Especially since I plan to mix them with these disks, some black onyx rounds and some amethyst beads in a bracelet I'm planning. I would have had it done already but then I discovered I was out of head pins. I get way too distracted by the art beads and forget to save some $ to stock up on generic stuff like head pins and jump rings. Oh, both sets are by Bead Intrigue on Etsy.





Amazing colors on these beads from The Orange Bell. The picture doesn't do them justice. I thought they'd make great fall jewelry - maybe with some copper?






"Fruity Pebbles" (great name, eh?) from Blue Seraphim on Etsy. These colors are just yummy and outside my normal blue/green zone so I wanted to try them.






I got this set of disks, also from Blue Seraphim to go with them. Am still trying to decide what metal will work best to wire them up - I'm leaning towards an oxidized silver. Anyone else want to chime in with ideas?




This amazing wildflower heart pendant is from Mary Harding Jewelry on Etsy. I loved the pastel colors and rustic design. Plus, I also see an angel in it which is kind of fun.




She had more gorgeous stuff I couldn't resist. This reminded me of a child's watercolor painting of a flower with the bright colors and sort of wispy design.






Last one, but so pretty. Her prices are very reasonable, too.

Okay, that's it for now. Hope everyone has a good weekend and don't forget to take your Hodizol before you play Jogyrope ;-)


KJ

P.S. Wait, wait! I have it!

"Hodizol - for those nights when 'I have a headache' won't get you off the hook."

Hmmm...it's possible there may be a reason I am divorced LOL!

7 comments:

dochoamom said...

Troblesc - what we get in when we laugh too hard at your posts...

Ha ha ha... Ok the bead porn wow those polka dots... you know when I get my new issue of B&B or whatever... I want to savor it... My daughter will flip through it and go oh mom look at this... and I am nope not yet... Or Carol and I go through them on the phone together...

Have you gone back to Rocki's site? she can take care of your headpin issues...

Love, Deb

Lorelei said...

you blog about all the things I wish I could think up on my own blog. brilliant, and funny.
If only I had HALF of your wit!!

xox

Marie Cramp said...

Domoni- the domino effect of money {when Kelly is in a bead store and forgets to get her basic supplies} lol sorry I could not resist.

Great new beads, really like the colourful ones. What if you did mixed metal? some copper, brass, silver, that kind of thing, or use black silk rope, that would be nice too.

Your garbage issue?? He was male, need I say more? lol

Marie

Marie Cramp said...

myougmis- A symptom caused by yogurt missing it's mark on the way to your mouth...

Marie Cramp said...

{saturday} another good one for you...
cowswif... A fast cow maybe???

Sorry I could not resist


:)

Davinia said...

Well I think I might be follower 83. Found you through Dawno's Beaded blog. Adore the polka dot beads and going back through some of your older posts was a delight. Funny, witty and talented. My word verifications for this comment is scult.....I think that's was I've been doing with your blog, sculting around and then finally leaving a comment. Or it could be some weird sex cult, that would marry well with 'bead porn' I guess.

Davinia said...

After all of that long comment I forgot to follow. I've done it now and I'm definitely number 83.