I'm trying to decide if that's a good thing or not. I don't want to bug him, but I don't want him to stuff his feelings, either.
Y'know, no one tells you that you need a degree in psychology (along with a medical degree and a social worker's license) when you contemplate becoming a parent. It's amazing the amount of situations that have come up in his short life that I have to try to deal with by pulling some brilliant solution out of my ass.
So far, my solution has been to buy him a toy while I was out a lunch yesterday in case he was upset when I picked him up. Since he wasn't, the toy went into the "reward" stash in my closet. It probably wasn't a good idea anyway, but I'm kinda stumped at this point. He did ask about buying a new crab and I told him I thought it would be best to wait a few days out of respect for Summers (yeah, I really said that...about a crab) but that if he still wanted a new one after that, we could talk about it.
I would've thought by now, after 7 years, I would stop having those moments of "I seriously have NO IDEA what I'm doing as a parent", but apparently not. Anyway, if anyone out there has any brilliant ideas on how to handle the whole pet death thing - I'm open to suggestions (and obviously desperately in need of some).
In the meantime, how about some of the beads I found at the local show this weekend?
This show comes through about every 3 months or so. It's not very exciting because there are hardly any art bead vendors and almost never any new vendors so I've seen most everything before. Still, I managed to find a few things like thisn strand of dyed howlite nuggets in a lovely denim blue/lavender color.
Lumina Inspirations is one of the few art beads sold there. And they don't come in person, but sell through a stone/gem vendor called Royal Quality Gems. I've bought so much of Lumina's stuff, but I have a hard time parting with it so most of it is still being hoarded in the stash. Which is why I made myself promise that I wouldn't buy any more. Then I saw this leaf bead and loved the colors and texture. But still...only one bead from them when I usually get several...I ALMOST kept my promise LOL!
Did I mention it's reversible?
Normally I wouldn't get something as plain as mother of pearl donuts, but I got them to go with the next item:
A beautiful shell pendant carved from amazonite. Oh, and sorry for the blurry picture - my camera was having some kind of fit with its macro setting. I must have taken 30 shots and every one of 'em came out blurry. All the other shots I took that day of other beads were fine.
I keep seeing pyrite turn up and I wasn't really sure if it was for me, but I needed these donuts to go with this:
A shell carved from pyrite. It looks so much like an actual shell fossil - I was amazed. Since it's carved from pyrite, it has that nice metallic gleam on the raised scallop edges, too. I'm still not sold on pyrite as a whole, but THIS? This is cool.
I also found a gorgeous strand of big labradorite nuggets in a $4.00 a strand bin! Forgot to photograph them, though. Everything else I bought was for a specific project I'm working on: some vintage glass, white shell gumball-sized beads and red coral beads. Also got some gorgeous "russian gold" finish chain and findings from Via Murano - that was my big splurge for the day as they are spendy, but SO pretty. And I had a coupon ;-)
This is just a taste. Stay tuned tomorrow for the REAL bead porn ;-)
KJ
6 comments:
We are months out from the death of our old orange tabby and still have discussions. Mostly it is the girl child that brings him up and we talk about him being in kitty heaven. And the kids also discuss the ferrets that we had as pets before the kids were born and how the ferrets are probably playing with the cat now. No easy way through it, just hugs and time.
Oh you tease! ;-)
That shell IS really cool. I bought some really cool pyrite nuggets a few years back. I put them in this little jar with a screw on lid. Not sure if it was the lack of oxygen or the natural process but they actually started molting. Be careful with them. They emitted this crazy mineral smell and got scaly white stuff growing out of them. I'm just sayin'...be careful with them. I have no idea why they would behave that way. And I loved the shape and sheen.
I am stoked about the labradorite. One of my favorite stones.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
P.S. We have had fish die from the fair...but what we have dwelled upon was how happy we were when they were with us, and what a good life we gave them (as opposed to the carney life they were livin'). That seems to work. And we talk of fond funny memories of our dog (but it was more of a blow for my hubby and me to lose him, he was just always in the way for the kids). Hope that helps. And I would say that Ryan knows what he needs. He'll get through it.
Did you "dispose" of Summers yet? If not a good way to deal for kids is a goodbye ceremony, similar to a funeral, you can bury him, or send him off at sea...
Just a thought.
Love the new beads as always ;)
Be back tomorrow!
Marie
Our pup passed away while I was deployed - kind of a low point for all of us - Greg found some good pix of Sophie in her hey day and the kids picked ones they liked and bought frames to have them on their nightstands. Emma still has hers, Michael not so much. Michael was 6 at the time and it just wasn't that big of a deal for him - so I wouldn't worry if your son just doesn't want to talk about it anymore :-)
You know this whole mothering/parenting thing is a trial by fire really. I think the thing to remember is that if your heart is in it you really can't stuff up. I speak from experience here. I've 2 mid 20's kids and often they just laugh at what I thought were abysmal failures on my part. You just gotta do it with love and every thing else will be fine.
Hey, kids are resillient. Your boy will get though this as long as you treat his feelings about Summers with respect. That you are doing a fine job of.
I am still sad myself. I liked Summers even if I never got to meet him in person.
My son, who is 9, has lost a couple of beta fish. Having a little ceremony is a good idea, if that is what your son wants - perhaps you could also salvage Summers`` last shell and kepp it? For a few months after the fish died, my son would ocassioanlly talk about Mr. Bubbles (they both had the same name) and get a bit upset - he tends towards drama. I found nodding my head and just following along was enough - eventually he would move onto something else.
As for parenting, although I have never done it, I think it is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Everyday is different and sometimes you do have to pull the answer out of the air. My son has behaviourial issues related to ADHD/anxiety and there are days when I am convinced I am the worst parent ever (and sometimes my son confirms thast by telling me so). It sounds like you are doing all the right things - just kepp offering hugs, keep listening and have the ocassional glass of wine (for you, not him).
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