Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Pokemon is the New Crack

“Psssst! Hey, kid! Yeah, you. C’mere. Wanna see something cool? Yeah, man. You wanna be cool, you gotta getchoo summa these here Pokemon things.”

“What? You don’t have any money? No worries. I like you, kid. And because I like you, I’ll let you have a coupla these cards for free. Yeah, I knew you’d like that.”

The Next Day

“Hiya, kid! You liked those cards, right? Didn’t I tell you? All the cool kids are doing it. What? You want some more? Yeah, I know, but I can’t give you any more for free…ummm… Tell ya what. I’ll trade ya. Whattaya got to trade? Your new car that you begged your Mom to get you for like a month that also changes colors when it gets wet? Yeah, I can trade you a card for that.”

The Next Day

“Hey, kid! I got more of what you needs. You got sumthin’ for me? Your medal that you won at the Y-Games? Yeah, I guess that’ll work.”

The Next Day

“Listen, kid, I can’t keep tradin’ you every day. I gotta eat, ya know. What? You have leftover lunch money? How much you got? Funny…that’s EXACTLY how much these cards cost so you give me all of that and I’ll give you one card.”

After Two Weeks

“Kid, you need to get some clothes on or you’re gonna freeze. And no, I don’t want your underwear in trade. What else ya got? No, no, no! Let’s not bring your mom into this! And I don’t wanna trade for her anyway – she seems kinda old and mean. Wait! I know! You’ve still got your soul, right?”


Parents, this sad and cautionary tale is playing out at YMCA daycares and schoolyards all across the country. Don't let this happen to your child. Take the time to patiently explain to them that paper card with pictures of silly-looking, made-up, vaguely anime characters are not worth their clothes, toys, allowance money and yes...even their very souls.

And when that patient explanation, repeated ad nauseum, doesn't work, contact your childcare provider directly to ask them why they are not enforcing their own written policy ban on trading of any kind. Laugh at the fact that this brands you as a psycho bitch, makes the parents of the other kids involved embarrassed as they have to bring back a truckload of your kid's stuff that he traded, and makes your own kid cry.

Don't let this cautionary tale go to waste.


Mary Newton Designs said...


Elisabeth said...

Way to go!! Way to hold the camp accountable to their own rules!

SueBeads said...

Sadly, you'll actually spend money on these cards and the habit will last only a short time - it's inevitable he'll move on to stronger and more expensive habits!

Jenners said...

Oh I loved this! And while we're at it, let's talk to the evil geniuses behind these insane Silly Bandz.

Susanm said...

I have lived son is now 9 and seems to have some sense about trading cards. But he has one friend who always manages to get one up on him and fleece him out of good cards.

Winchell Clayworks said...

Oh man...good thing you write all this down in your blog. Great evidence for his therapist years down the road!!! Keep an eye on his kidneys, he could try to trade those next.

The Joy of Nesting said...

Hey Kiddo,

You are my new favorite Hero Mum!!! Yous jist gots to 'memba "A Mums gota do what a Mums gota do"!

I tell ya being the mum of boys is a thankless although most of the time hilarious state of existence. :)

Pattie ;)(2 boy's raising servivor)
Mazatlan Mx.

Kristen said...

Way to go Mom! I see this with my nephew and it is terrible! If I liked my sister in law I would let her hear this!


TesoriTrovati said...

You go, crazy-bitch-mom-lady! I am right behind you with a sign that sez "Say NO to Pokemon!" and "This is your brain on Pokemon!" You ARE the meanest mom on your block. Your fearless determination to protect your progeny at all costs has entitled you to a lifetime membership in the Mean Moms. Welcome to the club! I will send the handbook, the wallet ID card and the nifty no-sew-on patch (it's peel-and-stick, because we Mean Moms have better things to do then whip out a needle and thread) over to you right away. It will come via mental telepathy. And if you can download said items you can take them to any Kinko's or Staples to have them printed on neon bright cardstock. Thanks for helping me find my quota of new recruits to the Mean Moms. Now you need to be on the lookout for more to keep the Mean Moms growing. It all starts with YOU!

(teeheehee) (*wink*)

Enjoy the day!

Mellisa - Chinook Jewelry said...

Pokemon...the gateway card...