Monday, November 30, 2009

The Weekend Update

Good evening. I’m Silver Parrot…and you’re not.

Okay, 10 points if you get that joke (plus my undying sympathy for the fact that you are at least as old as I am if not older).

For those that didn’t get it, all I can say is “Jane, you ignorant slut.”

Okay, don’t know why I felt compelled to share that flashback, but, well, there you go.

Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. Mine, as usual, was too short. A 4-day holiday weekend is just long enough to set you up for a really CRUEL shot of reality when the alarm goes off at 5:30 AM on Monday morning and you realize that yes, you really DO have to go back to work.

Or else give up things like food and basic hygiene.

Still, in spite of the shortness and the reality of Monday, I did manage to accomplish some good stuff. I took Wednesday off and used it to get a large part of my Christmas shopping done AND avoid the crazed masses on Friday (sorry, I don’t get the whole wait-in-a-parking-lot-overnight-freezing-your-ass-off-to-save-$200-on-a-tv thing). My son and both nephews are taken care of. Also, for the first time in three years, I found everything I needed right away. Nothing was out of stock or picked over.

I finished in an hour and a half.


Then I got a pedicure and picked up my assigned items for Thanksgiving dinner (sparkling cider and a bottle of white whine). Grabbed my favorite salad from Panera to take home and eat and spent the rest of the afternoon working on my great de-stash project. Got a whole bunch of rubber stamps listed on Etsy and boy, are they selling.

Wish I’d known sooner what a market there was for old, used, stained rubber. If I had, I wouldn’t have wasted my time on this whole jewelry thing. Because beautiful glass and clay and crystals and gemstones? Can’t GIVE ‘em away. But stained rubber? Quickly becoming the new monetary standard.

What the heck…gold is overrated anyway.

Then, Thanksgiving morning, I was gifted with the solution to a question which has long perplexed me. I’ve suspected for years that my son had some nefarious plot in mind which required him to incessantly bang the doors on the entertainment center until they fell off. At which point I’d patiently re-hang them again and he’d bang them until they fell off again.

And again.

And again.

This cycle has repeated itself for about the last 3 years until earlier this year when he actually cracked one of the doors in half and the other one just couldn’t be hung up any more because the screw holes are too stripped out.

I finally gave in and just left the doors off the bottom of the cabinet, but remained curious as to why he had this complete obsession with ruining them.

All is now revealed:

His evil plot to disguise himself as a DVD player has finally come to fruition.

Strangely, though, no matter what disk I pop in, I only get re-runs of “Spongebob” on this machine.

Happy Monday!



EmandaJ said...

What a HOOT! Yes, I got both references to SNL in the golden ages of Chevy and Jane (ah, those were the days!)

And good for you for getting a jump on the Chrismas crazies. I DO NOT enjoy shopping after Thanksgiving in the midst of the insanity. That is not the Christmas Spirit.

Anyway, jump back on track at work and pat yourself on the back for your good deeds.


mairedodd said...

congrats on the rubber stamp sales - hey, sales are sales! we no longer have doors on our dvd cabinet either... your son is adorable... and how wonderfully well you made out with the shopping! i wasn't stepping foot in a store friday - cautiously went into target today hoping that cyber monday would have made people scarce... it wasn't too bad!

SueBeads said...

Lucky you to be done shopping! I am very jealous!

SummersStudio said...

Too funny KJ. I don't know if I've seen the bug lover before but boy oh boy does he look happy. Yep, old enough to laugh at SNL. Yep, old enough to giggle, a lot, with the golden age of SNL. And...I am so jealous that you've wiped out a big chuck of Christmas shopping in 1.5 hours. Me, list?, store? um how many days do I have?

TesoriTrovati said...

A sale by any other name is...still a sale!
Your kidlet is the CUTEST (oh, sorry, I mean handsomest) little boy ever. I was just having a flashback of my own when removing the cookie sheets from their cupboard and packing them... my son used to pull them all out on the kitchen floor and I would find him wedged into this tiny odd shaped cupboard unable to climb out. I have a picture someplace. That is my excuse why I have not finished the packing, becuase each cabinet I open and each box I pack is filled with memories that just spill over and I am all...verklempt!
Thanks for the great visuals. I would love to come over and have some "white whine" with you!
Enjoy the day!
P.S. I totally got that reference. And oddly enough I was just saying the same thing the other day!

Davinia said...

I have a photo of my son (he's now 27) in exactly the same position except he's on the bottom shelf of the pantry. That's after he had up ended all the salt and pepper all over everything and I had just finished cleaning the pantry out. I went to my bedroom and cried...I was a bit hormonal!